September 24, 2014

Your body belongs to your husband?

Buon giorno!!!

You guys know I've been harping on about gaining weight since the wedding and not-so-secretly been blaming Cakes for it (oops!). At the end of the day, my body is MY responsibility and I should have stopped eating as much, and continued exercising, so let's shift the blame back to me. But that's not the issue here.

A couple of weeks ago, I was crying in front of the mirror (what else is new?) because I have been feeling very unattractive and soft and jiggly all over my body. And sweet Cakes came and wiped my face and says to me, "But baby, I'm even more attracted to you now."

*insert record scratching sound here*



To me, that was the worst thing he could have said. I felt like he was putting his wants (my voluptuous bodacious boobilicious bod) before my needs (my emotional/mental state). I didn't understand how he could see me crying and tell me that he preferred me like that. I made my feelings known to him and since then, he's been a lot more supportive towards my efforts to eat better - although sha, his promise to wake up and make me exercise has not come to fruition oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Berry Dakara Instagram
ROMEO! What are you doing up there?
JULIET! Waiting for you to run up the stairs! It's exercise :)

Anyway, I mentioned this encounter to a couple of people, and they said, "Ah, if your husband says he likes you like that, then why are you complaining about weight gain? Hmm, you're not serious. You had better not lose weight o, if not he will go and look for that kind of body outside. Your body is his, so you have to keep it how he likes it."

*insert blank stare*

Sorry o, but I DO NOT agree in any way, shape or form!!! MBA! NON! NEHI NEHI!!! First of all, the Bible verse that talks about your bodies belong to your spouse is referring to sex. Secondly, why would anybody say that if I lose weight, Cakes will cheat on me? (Okay, fine, I know a lot of Nigerian men cheat based on the EXCUSE that their wives' bodies changed - I won't even go there because that will be a whole essay) Thirdly it's MY body to take care of. Fourthly, does it make any sense for me to stay at a weight where I'm clearly miserable simply because my husband said he likes my weight like that?

ALL Y'ALL JOKERS!!!!!

Anyways, I just rolled my eyes at the offending statement and walked away.

Wotchufinkboutdat?

19 comments:

  1. I like that you brought this up #newlywedish, where do I start from? (1) Most men don't notice when you gain 10-15lbs maybe cos they are focusing on the bigger boobs! By the time they notice it, it is too late and harder to lose the weight. (2) You are right about your body belonging to your husband referring to sex; Be the size you are most comfortable with and the best version of yourself. For me it was hair problems o, we liked my hair in different ways and I did what he liked for a few months and did not feel confident or pretty at all, yes it was cute but it was not me. When I did my own thing I became so confident in myself that it wasn't even an issue.

    www.Anemistyle.com

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    1. THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!! Now I get it!!!!

      Haha, that your "issue" was hair. At the end of the day, the significant others will be more attracted to you if you're confident. That's what I think.

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  2. Hmmm, Berry. I used to think same till i kept adding and adding and adding after my wedding. I didnt listen to his "i love you like you are" talks o. I went and did my thing, i lost lost ALL the weight. Guess what? Some days ago, i was eating plantain chips and he said, "i though you were eating clean madam" and i said "Hian! I though you loved me fat, am trying not to be too skinny like you said" Lol. I just weak. My dear please do your thing, not just to look good, but for health reasons(i'm not saying you have any) he will love you all the same. A man that wants to cheat will cheat and he that is faithful is faithful, no matter what. Cheers. My weight loss blog: www.theshapecube.blogspot.com

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    1. LOL @ your hubby. Kudos for losing the weight and taking your health into your hands.

      Are you sure you won't come and be cooking in my house and be my trainer? :p

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    2. Hehehe! Anytime babes, I love a challenge.

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  3. In response to your question "does it make any sense for me to stay at a weight where I'm clearly miserable simply because my husband said he likes my weight like that?" no it doesn't cos you stated that you are not comfortable with your weight and that goes a looong looong way with regards to self esteem.I love the way the you are all jovial and outgoing and will stop reading your blog if you become shy and indoorsy(if that's a word sha) *jst kidding oh* . But seriously i think you should do whatever you think will make you happy.

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    1. LOL!!! Don't worry, I won't lose my cheer :D I almost did a couple of months ago sha, I can't even lie.

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  4. LOL People sef!!

    In this context I don't think that is the kind of answer that the person should be giving tbh. Like you rightly said in context its not what the Bible is talking about.

    If one's husband likes what is not good for you health wise is helping him understand why you need to make changes and once you have a supportive husband then ya better to go.

    I don't think My husband liking something should be an excuse to make bad choices.. Health-wise or any other wise.

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    1. Well said. And it can go both ways, and doesn't even have to be a marriage relationship.

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  5. Hmmm I like listening to u married people......I'm learning some stuff here, in my own unmarried opinion le boo's wants should be "considered" nd wat makes you YOU should be done. I totally believe Ruby, who wan cheat go cheat. PS. Berry luv you nd cakes do d most hilarious tins

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    1. Lol, listen well o! (just kidding - we're still learning)

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  6. Berry, you talked about learning Igbo because of your constant love affair with Igbo rappers, so I see you have started your lessons. The force wey you use type that "MBA" no be small one o.
    I never have the energy/inclination to respond civilly to people that suggest I spread myself on the floor in order for a man to walk all over me just so that he won't cheat. I just roll my eyes and laugh in Swahili.

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    1. Hahahaha, my mum is Igbo so I know like 5 words.

      Nobody should be a doormat for anybody else - you're so right!

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  7. Imagine if he had said "I agree! You are adding weight" lol
    Anyway Its like a thin person who wants to gain weight and the hubby says "I like the way you look". At that point he may think she looks good but She DOESN'T think so.
    So her opinion counts more, husband or no husband cos one looks only as good as they feel.
    Hmmm! "Nehi" is Indian abi.

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    1. Well, I might have been a tad hurt, maybe but I like honesty.

      Yup, Nehi is Indian.

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  8. lol that ridiculous it your body so do as you please when it comes to losing weight it all about feeling comfortable in your skin. heck men will sometimes telling you anything to make you feel better lol. and to those who said he will cheat lol u gotta tell em "bye felicia" he married your soul not ur body.

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    1. BYEEEEEEEEEEE FELICIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Funny, I say that in my car when I drive past people :p

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  9. I think it is good hubby likes you the way you are (even when you feel down on yourself). To me it should be some form of comfort that your husband does not find you less appealing this should even encourage you to loose the weight. I remember a friend who gained some weight she had a birthday party and as she put anything in her mouth her boyfriend would openly tell to not eat it. That is a situation we should all be thankful not be in, xx

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    1. Wow, that's not nice at all!!! I would be so upset

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