August 30, 2013

First Kiss Fridays

Hello lovers!!!

If you missed it last week, I started a new feature/series on my blog: FIRST KISS FRIDAYS. Readers are encouraged to send stories of their first kisses ever, first kisses with boyfriends/girlfriends, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, handsome/beautiful strangers, husbands/wives, you get the idea... It will be TOTALLY ANONYMOUS so feel free to divulge!

Please send your stories to

How do you like my new design? 

I had just entered into the world of teenagers. A lot of changes were happening within AND on my body. I remember sitting at Mr. Biggs with my sister and mum. We had just met Daniel Wilson… remember him? Call me Daniel Wilson, and I’ll play you Ragamuffin. I was giddy with excitement as I loved the song and I have/had the tendency to get star-struck. I went to the restroom and hurriedly came out to inform my mum that my first period was upon me. She hugged me and when we got home, I got to hear (again) the proverbial Birds and Bees talk. I was armed with the knowledge that I could get pregnant if I had sex with a boy, even though I didn’t figure out how sex worked until I was almost twenty. Entering teenage-dom meant puberty, and not only did I begin to develop breasts that would eventually become DDs, I started becoming interested in boys… LOTS OF BOYS!

I was such a shy child. I preferred playing by myself or only with people I was comfortable with. I didn’t like attention and would shrink in crowds. That turned upside down very quickly. While I was still quiet, I began to want attention – from boys. I was small, dark, developing and discovered a penchant for miniskirts. My favorite was a royal blue spandex one my aunt from England had gotten me. When I wore that skirt, I felt eyes on me and I relished the knowledge that I wasn’t so invisible anymore. I began to hang out at the weekend spot more often – going swimming, to the video store, and watching boys play basketball.

One weekend, I met up with my best friend (a boy, of course) to go swimming. While we were there, he introduced me to his friend, Donald. I was 13 or 14, but I was instantly attracted and drawn to him. We didn’t speak much on that first meeting. The next time we met, he didn’t remember who I was! But I wasn’t fazed and I reintroduced myself. If you ask him today, he’ll tell you that I chatted him up the first time we met, lol. After that second meeting, we became friendly. He lived in the estate and we started calling each other on the phone – not after 9:00PM or I would get in trouble with my mum. 

The summer holiday came, and this meant we could see each other more often, without the threat of being caught by parents who’d gone to work. We took walks together, holding hands, talking and laughing about everything. I had fallen HARD for him. I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. I’d been kissed before but it wasn’t “sweet.” One afternoon, Donald stopped by my house and that day we stood outside talking. Something had shifted in the air that day. I was leaning with my back on my dad’s Santana (or maybe it was the Jetta) with Donald standing in front of me. His voice got progressively lower as we talked. And then he asked me the question… “Can I kiss you?” My heart skipped several beats, my breathing becoming heavier (and not due to asthma, this time) and I smiled and said, “Yes.” He leaned in ever so slowly and my eyes fluttered close just before his lips touched mine. His lips were soft, yet firm and we kissed slowly, seemingly forever. That was my first inkling of what passion was. 

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August 28, 2013

Testing Testing


I just downloaded the Blogger app on my Samsung S4 and after typing up a boatload of text for this post, my battery was dying so I went back to the phone's home screen before plugging in my charger. I came back to blogger and all the text is gone!!!!!!!!!! I had typed and re typed and was witty and excited about my first post using the app and now this!?


I will just use bullet points cos I can't start all over again. *rolls eyes*

• Blogger app is crap if it won't automatically save drafts like on the web version!

• Samsung S4 screens are very fragile! It's been less than a month and my screen is cracked already. Okay I didn't have a phone case then cos I thought it was too expensive at N7000. Well I got one right after it cracked and the case had gone down to N4000.

• If you register your phone's iemi number after buying your phone, you're automatically registered for a 2-yr warranty during which Samsung will fix screen and liquid damages twice.

• I don't know how to add a photo to this post using the app. *3 minutes later* Yes I do.

Toodles and crayfish noodles to you poodles!

*I see your blank stare :p*

August 26, 2013

I'm a complete and total SELL-OUT!!!


Don't crucify for what I'm about to tell you. I've gone and done something I said I would NEVER EVER do in my life, EVER + Infinity. This goes against my principles and what I stand for. I'm ashamed of myself, and you should be ashamed of me too. Before I confess, please accept that it wasn't totally my fault. I was aided and abetted by my family members. I would never have done it if it wasn't for them.

*butterflies in my tummy as I get ready to announce that...*

I GOT AN iPAD MINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*insert horrified scream here* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, YES YES I, Berry Dakara sold out and joined the iMasses! *sob sob, wail wail, sniff sniff*

I had sworn I would NEVER get an Apple product. I have been Anti-Apple, Anti-Steve Jobs (until he died, may he RIP), Anti-i-anything. My reason was that Apple was trying to take over the world. From the iPad to the iPhone to the iMac (wait, is there anything called an iMac or did I just make that up? :-S).

Anyway, the story is that my dad had an extra iPad mini and didn't know what to do with it. My Blackberry Playbook had malfunctioned - the camera no longer works, and it refused to restore some pictures and videos from my last backup. So I graciously accepted my dad's offer of the iPad mini. *le sigh*

Well, it feels good to confess. Please forgive me for my selling-out-edness.

And now, I have figure out how to turn the darn thing on! All these touch screen devices make me feel incompetent sha. Where's a button when you need one?

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August 23, 2013

First Kiss Fridays...

Hello dahlings!!!

Soooo I'm introducing what I hope will become a new feature/series on my blog: FIRST KISS FRIDAYS. Readers are encouraged to send stories of their first kisses ever, first kisses with boyfriends/girlfriends, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, handsome/beautiful strangers, husbands/wives, you get the idea... It will be TOTALLY ANONYMOUS so feel free to divulge!

UPDATE: Please send your stories to

Without further ado, here's our first installment...

I know my design skills need a LOT of work

If my heels were an inch or two lower, I’d have taken the steps two, maybe three, at a time. The elevators were taking forever. Rush hour office traffic, I deduced. Not giving myself enough time to mull over it, I began my descent via foot from the 4th floor. Exercise, I kidded myself. That’s the reason you’re taking the stairs. I didn’t time myself because this was no race to the finish line…, no 100m dash, no 50m freestyle. However, I am certain it took less than 90 seconds from the time his TV-series-inspired name flashed across my blue Nokia Lumia, to when I sauntered (okay, maybe jogged) out of my office building – blue, heavy lunch bag filled with my healthy versions of yummy Nigerian food swinging by my side – for my “lunch break.” A girl’s gotta eat, right?

The July sun was out in all its summer glory. Bright, scorching, unforgiving. The wind blew today, quite unusual given the time of day. In the distance, I could hear horns blaring, cars accelerating way past the speed limit (whatever that was), and garrulous pedestrians going about their daily routine.Walking out of the familiar brown gate, I searched for his car. Its bright color made it as conspicuous as an elephant in a china shop. He beckoned, and I immediately felt my pace quicken and a smile escape my lips. Slow down. I did, slowing my steps to my usual catwalk. I talked to myself often, and this time was no different.

He leaned over to open the door and in one swift, graceful movement (okay, maybe two), I was seated in the passenger’s seat. After pleasantries, compliments and hugs were exchanged, he drove to a quiet spot underneath what appeared to be a palm tree, with fronds the length of a small sized trailer. It was a residential area, so it was fairly quiet. Fairly, for nowhere in Lagos is completely void of noise. He must have told me I looked beautiful more than a dozen times. My cheeks suffused with blushes as I shot down his remarks with several objections of “Noooo! I’m okayyyy!”and “Stoooop it!”

I unpacked lunch – sweet potatoes, plantain, spicy sauce with huge chunks of chicken, and sautéed vegetables – while he opened the big green bottle of sweet, red wine he promised to bring. “Alcohol at 2 in the afternoon??” I chided him. I knew the glint in his eyes was as a result of the food, not me. The boy loves his sweet potatoes! More compliments came. “This tastes absolutely delicious. I can’t believe you made this for me.” (umm, I didn’t, bro, but who’s checking anyway?). “You’re so pretty.” (thought we were talking about food, no?).

After we both overate (goodbye waistline!) and the potatoes began their descent to digestion, conversation ensued. I stared at his wide, seductive smile that displayed rows of nicely-shaped teeth. Stop staring at his mouth. Stop staring, I compelled my voluntary system. I was not given enough time to achieve this because, before my obstinate eyes could settle on a different target, his lips met mine – so subtly, so quickly, so gently. I must have floated to the top of the tree we were parked under, for even after he pulled back to examine my face while flashing that smile I’ve grown to love, I was still leaning in, eyes closed, lips puckered and mind a muddled, beautiful mess.

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August 22, 2013

My take on Americanah - Includes Spoilers

Months after everyone I know has read and reviewed Americanah  by Chimamanda Adichie, I finally borrowed it from Sheila (visit her blog here) and just finished it last week. Here are my thoughts on Americanah.

I remember reading Half of a Yellow Sun and Purple Hibiscus, and being consumed by those books. For some odd reason, I found reading Americanah much harder. It took me a few weeks to read it. Not because I didn't have time. But it felt like work. I didn't have the same ease I usually would have, when reading something that really interested me. It was almost as if I was reading it only because everyone else had read it. Before I got the book, I was aware that it got mixed reviews - people either loved it or were really underwhelmed. I think it's an okay book. Something to pass the time with when there's nothing else to do.

I also found the book to be mildly depressing. It seemed like none of the characters in the book were happy. Maybe that's why I wasn't thrilled about it. When I read, I like to immerse myself in the characters and their situations. To me, it felt like Ifemelu's moving to and living in America was a terrible situation for her. She seemed more depressed than anything. Let's not even get into Obinze's catastrophic foray in England. I felt very sorry for the guy. But it makes you wonder about the hundreds/thousands of Nigerians who are going through the exact same thing.

Additionally, I felt like I was being preached at by Ms. Adichie, via Ifemelu's blog posts. There was an underlying sense of "This is what you should think about America, white people, natural vs relaxed hair, etc." At different times, I completely skipped the blog posts. There was this condescending tone about them that I didn't appreciate.

My favorite parts were Ifemelu's relationships...
I liked the BA (Before America) relationship with Obinze - first love, passionate and all-consuming. The AA (After America) relationship with him was understandable, yet disappointing. I'm all for True Love, but not at the expense of cheating on your spouse.

I personally think Ifemelu was an idiot to cheat on and break up with Curt. Maybe I'm biased because I had a secret fantasy of dating a hawt, young, rich white guy - Yes, I mean Ryan Gosling. I think Curt loved her the best way he knew how to. And truth be told, Ifemelu was the one who was prejudiced against their interracial relationship.

I have to throw in Blaine, for completeness. I didn't like him one bit. End of story.

Erm, I think that's all I have to say about Americanah. I don't feel like getting into the natural vs relaxed hair debate. It's simply overdone and over-argued.

I will leave you with my favorite part of the book though...

HILARIOUS! Moreso because I had African Francophone friends, and I could picture them talking like this.

This is the 4th book I've read this year - Sense and Sensibility, Americanah, Swallow and some book depicting the Ogonis and exploitation of their land/waters for oil. I have to read 4 more to catch up with my goals by the end of August. Any recommendations? And please, no more Nigerian authors. I've had my fill for now.

UPDATE: Eeeek! I've read 5 books this year! How could I forget There Was a Country?! I only liked the first 2 parts though.

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August 20, 2013

Belated Weekend Story... and Streptococcus

Hi everyone!

I meant to write up a post on Monday, but after all the activity of preparing for  and presenting my church's musical, wedding planning, travelling up and down, work, and more, my body just broke down and said, "HELL TO THE NAW, I AIN'T COOPERATING NO MO!"

I woke up Monday morning with a terrible sore throat. I checked my medicine stash, looking for ibuprofen, and couldn't find any. At some point, I checked out my tonsils in the mirror and saw the telltale signs of a strep infection. One of the ladies at work forced me to go the clinic, which I did and was given 2 days off to stay home, rest, take medicine and recuperate. Cakes was absolutely wonderful and made sure I was eating properly, taking my medicine, and pampering me. I still feel pain when I swallow, and my tonsils are still very inflamed but I'm slowly getting better. The doctor (like so many others before) said I need to remove them surgically. So my question is, have you or anyone you know gotten their tonsils taken out [in Nigeria]?

*PS* When I told the nurses that I came in because I have Strep Throat (Tonsillitis caused by Streptococcus), I was reprimanded and told that what I have is a Sore Throat. But all the times I had it in America, it was called Strep Throat. They said Americans don't know anything. *side eye*

ANYWAYS, I was in Port Harcourt over the weekend, to attend a dear friend's father's 10th memorial (may he RIP). It was a pretty uneventful trip, until my return on Sunday morning. I flew Aero, and the flight was scheduled for 8:45am. It eventually landed from Lagos at 8:40, and we started boarding a few minutes after 9am. When I got on board, the air hostesses were telling everyone to just sit wherever there was an empty space. I'd asked for a seat near the front, so just quietly went to my seat. Apparently Mrs. Patience Jonathan was flying into PH airport, and typically the airport shuts down for 2 hours before and 2 hours after her plane lands *erm... blank stare* Well, some passengers were not having it at all: "I want to sit in my assigned seat! Who does Jonathan think he is?! Is he GOD!?!?! NONSENSE! The pilot is STUPID! He's an a**hole!" The rest of us were just like, "Okay, whatever, just shut up and sit down before our plane is grounded." Unfortunately for those passengers, the pilot was hella pissed and guess what he did... He got them kicked off the flight!!! I'm not even joking. He literally called the control tower and asked for them to bring back the stairs. Airport security came on board, the hostesses pointed out the "noisemakers" and their cohorts, and they were told to leave the plane. Policemen and soldiers were on ground to ensure no further trouble happened. I think it was about 15-20 people kicked off. See drama! We eventually left PH over an hour late.

Later that day was the musical production, THE ILLICIT AFFAIR at my church! It's based on the story of David and Bathsheba. All I can say is God is MARVELOUS! Even though there were glitches here and there, the message was loud and clear that God FORGIVES! It was an amazing time and I'm thankful for the eXpressions Ministry! Like I mentioned in previous posts, I was a prop dancer this time.

And on a final note, Cakes' cake was featured in a Bella Naija Weddings post (I popped up there too)- on their website, facebook and instagram (I forgot to check Twitter). But I'm really proud of him, and thankful to God and pray that this opens a lot of doors for him.

Alrighty, I'm off to take my night's dose of meds. Have a pretty rest of the week.

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August 16, 2013

Cheers to the freaking weekend!!!

Hola amigos!

It's been a stressful week! I've had so much work to do, especially coming from the 2-day holiday we had last week. Rehearsals for the church play kicked into very high gear, since the production is on Sunday evening at 6pm (Make sure you come with friends/family). Don't laugh at me, please. I'm in 3 dances - see if you can spot me :)

I wish I could say this weekend will be a calm, relaxing one, but I don't foresee quiet weekends for the next few weeks. Oy vey!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter :) I posted a video of myself singing along to Flavour aka Fuh-LEH-VUH!!! I shall be posting more (hehehe).

What else happened this week? Erm, YES!  I was featured on Bella Naija!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances the running man* They do a regular post on different Aso Ebi styles, and I was featured in their latest post.

Of course I had to do a silly pose :p

I don't have too much to say today, although I still owe you the story and pictures from my friend's wedding in Anambra State last week (manage the picture above cos that's what I wore).

Anyways, just wanted to wish you a very pretty weekend!

Kisses from moi!

Oh yeah, I done got ma hurr did

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August 14, 2013

Random Alert: You're short!

*insert usual greetings, hugs, kisses and more here*

Since I've been in Nigeria, I've noticed something baffling. Well it's baffling to me. Whenever I say I'm short, people respond, "No no no, don't say that about yourself. You're not short. You're just not tall." Erm, isn't the opposite of tall, short? :-S

It seems like there's a negative connotation that goes along with being short. In fact, some people get offended when you say they're short. For example, popular Nigerian actor, Chinedu Ikedezie was ticked off when someone referred to him as "my shortest boss."

Well, in his fan's defense, he IS probably the shortest boss he has. But his being a dwarf could mean that he's exceptionally self-conscious about height, so he gets a pass for being offended.

I'm 5'2.5" (I just checked today) and I LOVE the fact that I'm short. It just means that I have had more guys at my disposal. And it makes me and Cakes look cuter with our height difference. (Separate issue but do you know I consider guys as short, if they aren't at least 6'1"? I know, I'm short and have the nerve to call someone a foot taller than me, short).

I guess it's the same thing as being called fat? Actually, in Nigeria, people would gladly describe someone as FAT (with emphasis) than short.

Another random thought I had.

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August 12, 2013

On Sex After the Wedding

Hey y'all!

I missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Come gimme a big bear hug, because those are the BEST! Erm, don't crush the boobage please. *ahem*

I had an awesomely great weekend! One of my dearest friends, sister-from-another-mother, had her traditional wedding! It was oh-so-lovely. Her guy is also a family friend, so I had 2 families to support. Cakes and I drove to Anambra state to support them AND deliver their cake, which I will share in my next post. Aaaaaaaaaaand, we also did our Pre-wedding/Engagement photo shoot!!! I'll also share in a different post.

So let's get to the topic on my mind.


You know how you're not supposed to have sex before you get married, right? And you can have sex on your wedding night (or afternoon, depending on how randy you both are), right? My question is this: WHICH WEDDING NIGHT?

Is it that you can start having sex after the TRADITIONAL, CIVIL/COURT or CHURCH wedding? Like what if you have your trad or civil wedding months or even a year before the church, can the couple start having sex? Or what if you never even have a church wedding?

I'd always been of the mind that if you haven't done the church wedding, then you're not married in the eyes of God. But like someone pointed out, in this day and age, the traditional ceremony's held in the name of Jesus with prayers and pastors attending... so it should count, right?

I'm confused. I really don't know which is the correct one.

Help me out. What do you think?

Thoughtfully yours,

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August 9, 2013

Berry, Chef Fregz and A Follower

Hey pretty people!

So you know I went for the most recent Chef Fregz Special, at GET Arena, on July 28th. Just sharing some pictures from that day.


Moi et le chef extraordinaire

Omawonder - my choice

Fine Girl for Cakes

Palava Chicken, also for Cakes
While we were there, someone came up to me asking, "Are you Berry?" YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, I was recognized by a REAL. LIVE. PERSON. Ok, truthfully, we'd seen earlier in July at the Naturals In The City meetup. But still, it was nice to have a reader come up and say hi. OF COURSE I had to take a picture with T. (Forgive me per favore, I'm not sure if you want your name up). And yeah, she said it'd be fine to post the picture, innit?

T and I
Guys, I have to show you the earrings she wore... FLAMINGOS!!! So totally super cool. Speaking of flamingos, did I tell you I'm kind of psychic sometimes? I promise you, I'm not lying. But the day before Chef Fregz, I was driving on the road, and randomly flamingos came to my mind. I think I thought "Boy, would I like to see a flamingo right now" or "If I would be an animal, I'd want to be a flamingo." Anyway the point is, I subconsciously saw flamingos coming into my life. So I'm psychic. 
Flamingo earring

Isn't it super cute?!

Okay, I'm off now. Sayonara!!!!

PS. T - I've got something for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Email me at

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August 7, 2013

The lady who will NOT be moving back to Nigeria

Hello lovely ones,

A couple of days ago, I came across a video of a young Nigerian woman who lives in the US. She posted a video on Youtube, making it clear to anyone who watches, that she will not ever move back to Nigeria. I just want you to watch it, and then I'll share my thoughts.

  1. I will not comment on the fact that she said she's actively trying to shed her accent. Although, for the record, she still has some work to do because I CAN hear the Nigerian accent.
  2. I 100% agree that Nigeria has a JUSTICE problem. What is the point of having laws against bribery and corruption, if those laws will not be adhered to or enforced? Case in point, THE DAMN OKADAS are back in LAGOS!!! (I realize this is a very minor issue in the grand scheme of things)
  3. Truth be told, there was an internal argument going on in my head. One side was angry, because how dare she list only the problems Nigeria has? The other side of me wanted to melt into the ground with shame for Nigeria.
  4. If the main reason why she won't move back to Nigeria is because she wants to save orphans, then she's thoroughly missed the mark as there are orphans in Nigeria too, that might not be accessible from outside. 
  5. I think some Nigerians (those who live in and like Nigeria) WILL get angry. However, the anger will be short-lived. Give it a month, and nobody will remember this video.
  6. America has its problems too (and no, PAYING TAXES is NOT a problem)
  7. I think Nigeria can change. But I'm not sure it can/will in my lifetime. 
Those are my seven cents. What do you think?

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August 5, 2013

Whoa!!! I'm SO LATE to the party!!!


So all of you have watched P-Squared's (is it P-Squared or P-Square?) 'Personally' video and didn't think to tell me?!?!

The video was posted on Youtube in June, and none of you thought it would be a good idea to inform me that the video is TOTALLY MAD and a full-on tribute to Michael Jackson, whose death plunged me into near depression?

SMHVS (Shaking my head very slowly)

I'm disappointed in you.

Ok, fine, I accept your apology.

Let's make up and do the moonwalk :)

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Yo yo!


There was a time when my family and friends would say I was vain (they still think so). They will tell anybody who's willing to listen, that I'm VERY INTO MYSELF! The number of selfies on my phone and camera, would seemingly be used as evidence. In fact, after I got engaged, my mum told Cakes that he should be ready for a lifetime of Lights, Camera, Click!

However, I must point out that it simply is NOT true. I enjoy photography. I like taking pictures. A LOT. Is it my fault that I happen to be the only person with myself 24/7? If I had a friend with me 24 hours of the day, I'm sure I'd take their picture all the time. But since it's just me, myself, and I (who is a very willing subject, might I add), why not just take a picture of me? That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Anyways, anyone would have thought that by now I'd have jumped with glee on the Instagram bandwagon. Alas, my non-Apple, non-Android having self could not adequately join and do the app justice. BUT I'm here to announce that my brand new Samsung S4 has given me the necessary push to join.

PLEASE NOTE: I don't know how to use this blawdy phone. I literally had to call my friend to talk me through how to search for people on Instagram. It's going to take me a while to get used to it.

In any case, let me know your user ids, and look me up: Berry Dakara, so we can have Instafun!

My pictures might end up being boring sha. :-|


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August 3, 2013

Da-Cook-Kara - Love, Couscous with Curried Sardines and Eggs

So every now and then, I decide to get in the kitchen and whip up something different. Truth be told, I hardly ever cook - not my fault. But when I do, I come up with random ways to cook things and experiment with different ingredients. (see last cooking post)

On this particular day, I wanted to eat something quick and easy. I was craving eggs, and I'd usually mix it in with Indomie. But I didn't want to eat noodles, so decided on couscous. I've had couscous with fried eggs before, and it's kinda boring, so this time I decided to throw in some sardines as well.

Would I say it tasted great? No. But it was decent, quick, and filling. You can play around with whatever spices you feel like using.

Curry, Knorr, Tomatoes, Onions, Peppers, Eggs, Sardine, Salt

Fry the seasoned tomatoes, onions, peppers

Throw in your sardines seasoned with curry and eggs

Eggs n sardines done!

Make your couscous - bring water to a boil, remove pot from heat, throw in couscous and cover for 3-5 mins. Fluff with a fork.

Mix in your eggs/sardines with the couscous

Plate and mold into a heart shape, and VOILA!

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August 1, 2013

Cakes' Cakes!

This photo's taken by Demi Olubanwo

I've been a BAD BAD BAD girlfriend-turned-fiancee!

How can I not have boasted about shown you some of Cakes' cakes?! Tres sorry! His blog, which I manage (and very poorly) is at Cakesiena, and his Facebook page is Cake Factory by K's Craft.

If you're in Lagos, or anywhere in Nigeria and need a cake, he also delivers. And I'm very sure that if you tell him I sent you, he'll give you a sweet deal :)

Dear Google, please rotate ALL pictures automatically

Hehe.  I would totally wear this bra.

Photo by Akintayo Timi

There's one VERY NAUGHTY cake that I show everyone on my phone. But I'm afraid to post it on a public forum like this, cos you know how y'all Nigerians can be holier-than-thou. Let's just say a not-so-little-something was playing peek-a-boo from Calvin Klein boxers :p

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