September 5, 2014

No, really... How are you?

Today at work, I was heading away from my desk and saw a coworker. I asked, "How are you?" and he basically shrugged in response, and said "You don't really want to know how I am. It's just a greeting."

*insert blank stare*

Well, it led to a short conversation about this simple question, with just three words: HOW ARE YOU? I said that usually, when I ask, yes it's a passing question. However, if I pay attention and notice something's off, I will stop and ask what's going on. My coworker had a point though - too many of us are going around, asking how people are, but we're not really interested in the answer. Most times, we're just flying by and don't even wait for a response, whether it's good or bad.


Now I know that we can't stop and have conversations with everybody we encounter everyday, but could we perhaps make it a point to ask one person a week - HOW ARE YOU, REALLY?

I saw this powerful image while searching on Google for How are you....
beneath the surface
Source
I'm not saying everybody who answers "Good" or "Fine" are depressed and sad o. But it'll surprise you if you actually take the time out to know how someone really feels. At my [former] church, there's this one girl who asks and is very observant. I had rattled off, "I'm fiine." once and she stopped and said, "I don't think so. I've been watching you and you seem to have lost your spark. What's going on?" I truly almost burst into tears that day, but it was touching to see that someone wanted to know how I really felt.

14 comments:

  1. this is so true:)))
    and you've been very kind with me too.....Kisses and more kisses

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  2. Oh this is so true. To actually have someone who truly see you and is genuine enough is amazing. I actually mentioned this in my latest post

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    1. I read your post and God bless your friend, right?!?!?!

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  3. You are right. Thats like our standard answer.

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  4. You are right. The asker is not really expecting a detailed answer of how you really are, and the askee is also not going to tell you how he/she really is. It is just a greeting.

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  5. Thanks for posting this! It's so very relevant especially in our culture where "how are you" is regarded as a form of greeting and "fine" or "it is well" are regarded as standard responses. We need to ask the question with the intent to listen and care enough to possibly see beyond the responses we receive. Btws, I liked your facebook page but I do not receive your new blog post notifications...pourquoi? :-)

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    1. Hi Tamkara. So very true.

      P.S. I only just figured out how to automatically push blog posts to Twitter and Facebook. Learning everyday :)

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  6. So am I.....this blogging is not easy at all :-) you are doing great though....love your blog and all the snazzy plug-ins I spy.

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    1. LOL, it really isn't. You think you're doing so great, then one day it hits you that you could be doing soooooooooooo much better! Still trying to figure out "forcing" viewers to like my FB page :p

      Thanks for the encouragement!

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  7. This is so true. We need to look beyond ourselves sometimes and reach out to those around us.

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  8. Hmmm..... I hope I start doing this instead of just greeting to seem nice. Plus I don't only like your blog,I love your Personality. It has always fascinated me. It is so warm, loving and kinda Unserious *oops*

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Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)