January 30, 2013

Is being a SEXY woman a sin?

Hola amigos!

This question has crossed my mind several times over the years. Before I delve into the subject matter, let's look at the definition of the word "Sexy."

1. Concerned primarily with sex. 
2. Radiating sexuality. 
3. Generally attractive, appealing or exciting. 

Well, going by the first definition, sexy would most definitely involve sin, married or not. With the second definition, I think it's okay for a married Christian woman to radiate sexuality towards her husband. Christian men should be able to view their wives as sexy, wouldn't you agree? If they're not aroused when they look at their wives, I would think that's a problem.

I'd like to tackle the third definition. Is there anything wrong in purposely acting, dressing, speaking, in a sexy manner - one that is generally attractive, appealing or exciting? I don't think there's any woman in the world who doesn't like/want to be generally attractive, appealing or exciting (with the exception of nuns maybe). I like to think I fall into this category of Sexy (even though I have enough male friends who will dispute it to their dying days). Maybe the question I should be asking is what kind of sexy do you project? And who decides whether a woman is sexy or not? Isn't "being sexy" to someone subjective anyway? What one guy sees as sexy, another guy can see as trashy; still a different guy can see as wholesome.  

This past Sunday, I went to church with a male friend. He said he'd stopped going to our church (name withheld) because of the way women dressed. According to him, there were a lot of tight, short skirts and dresses; body-hugging outfits; cleavage-baring tops and more that could easily arouse him. I hadn't noticed that kinda dressing, so on our way out of church, I asked him to point out women wearing inappropriate outfits. Out of the 5 or 6 women he identified, I thought only 1 of them was dressed inappropriately. Dresses he saw as tight, I saw as fitted. Shoes I saw as just heels, he deemed stripper/Eff-me shoes! I'm pretty sure none of these women think they're doing anything wrong aka sinning. But if a guy's being aroused by looking at them, is it their fault? Actually, at a point, I decided that my friend was just looking for something to arouse him, and that he was the one with the problem.

If I dress well and want to appear appealing, without the intent of arousing sexual desire in a man, then I don't think that being sexy in that way is wrong. And it's not just about dressing either. A lot of guys take a woman's intelligence, spirituality, sense of humor, confidence level into consideration as part of the 'Sexy' package. Does the fact that men think I'm appealing automatically mean that they want to have sex with me? And what if they are aroused by me, even though I am not intentionally trying to incite that reaction? Have I sinned?

I dunno, I feel like I'm rambling - there are too many angles to this topic. But I really want to know what others (YOU) think about this. 


  1. Random thought: I was looking for a picture that illustrates 'Sexy Christian' and majority of the results were Louboutins! Lol.

  2. hello berry...
    well from your post, i can see you already explained the meaning of "sexy" and we often use this term when we're having fun or maybe something that didnt go your way happens and then you say...Oh, this thing wasnt sexy at all, or your handwriting isnt sexy..etc
    You're a Christian right? we both are and i totally get your point of wondering what the big deal is about this whole arousal thing from the guy and why he's seeing things in a diff light whereas,you hardly saw anything....
    i used to think a little like that until i read more of my bible and found out what Ist Corinthians 13 says and How i started seeing from God's point of view...Note, seeing from his point of view is very diff from the way humans see or analyse things and it takes the grace of God to actually see things when revealed to us most especially in the word.
    Not everybody is fully grown in this Christianity business if you know. some are still babies while some still have a weak mind. The bible talks about wounding the conscience of a brethren and sinning against Christ by doing so. Do you know what The Bible speaks about Sin? It says Anything you do outside Love is a SIN. when you wear a dress, a particaular dress, whats the motive behind it? why do you really want to wear that dress...search your spirit man well and you'll get the answers right there.God knows our innermost tots by the way.
    Paul talked about if eating meat would make his brother sin, then he wouldnt eat meat...
    WHat is he doing? what is he trying to avoid? he's trying not to wound the weak man's conscience.
    Some men are strong. SOme dont see anything in fitted dresses while some are weak, some are still battling with Lust in their hearts and are still walking out their Salvation. SO why would you, his sister in Christ, someone who should be helpful and pray for the brethren be the same person trying to wound him. (Not you literally..lool) but this is how i see it.
    LOVE does NOT seek its own. i'm sure that sums it up.
    I hope with this epistle of mine i'm able to explain the whole sexiness thing. if a husband is aroused by his wife, no problemo, but If a man looks upon a woman and the things he can see can make him to start fantasizing or wondering whats beneath the dress, then we need to watch our ways. Women are to be blessings not curse. I get it that some men are dirty already, But lIke Jesus said.."it is appointed for the son of man to die BUT woe to that person through whom he'll be crucified." I paraphrased it anywho...but you get me right.
    SO if a man has a dirty mind and is bound to sin, okies, BUT do not be the vessel that will ensure that this happens, rather be the one to guide him to the light. Thats what Christians are there for.
    to be salts of the earth and light to a dark world.
    Much love...xo!!!

  3. i hope you got my epistle about the whole sexiness thing?

  4. Hmmm...very comprehensive@glowingscenes...I love your take on the issue.Our lives should count from God's perspective o!
    Interesting post Berry!I certainly love your blog.


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