Born to Sell!

Hola amigos!

With the recent acquisition of my Iro and Buba, being the frugal buyer that I am, I largely complained about the price of the fabric. 4 yards of chiffon for N4000+ seemed like too high a price, although from the comments some of you posted, I should even have been happy for that price! But anyways, it got me thinking... I could never be a seller of anything! I can work in Marketing, in fact I have worked in Marketing, but SALES? Heck no. It's just not for me. Let me tell you why.

If I'm making a large amount of profit, I feel like I'm stealing money from my clients.

Yes yes, I know, it's a dumb way to think. Because if the customer is willing to pay a high price for what I'm selling, then obviously I would be selling (pun intended) myself short by charging a low price. Here's an example: if I buy shoes from the States for $20 and bring them back to Nigeria to sell, I would feel sick if I sold them for anything more than N6000, which is roughly $36. It's the dumbest thing because I should obviously insert the cost of my travels and/or shipping, but I would feel like I'm ripping you off. Isn't that silly?!?!?!?! This the main reason why I don't buy a lot of things here either, because I know what the real prices would be. Maybe I should think about what the cost of flying out would be, and then use that to buy what I need to.

Shey I'm crazy? Anyways, I have a pair of American Size 9 Nine West shoes to sell. Never worn cos they were too small. I'll take N10k for them. Oh and I have some bridal shower/hen night bunny ears too! N20k for all of them (18 or so)

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Sooooooooo, I have a new boyfriend!

My dear dear friends,

I would like to take this opportunity to announce the conscious uncoupling of myself and former flame, Flavor. We had a long run together and we will always remain friends and amicable towards each other. Unfortunately for Flavour, another Igbo brother has captured my heart for the moment. Just like with Flavour, this isn't a physical attraction - just an audio one, as in I'm attracted to his voice. Unlike Flavour though, this new flame scares me. I'm a little afraid because he seems quite dark inwardly. The way he looks, his videos, and even some of his music is questionable to me, but I just can't seem to stop listening to his album over and over and over again! This seems like a dangerous love to me. In fact, my favorite song on his album has to do with smoking weed (I'm assuming kush is weed, but I really don't know). And I'm only vaguely sure it's weed he's rapping about, because I don't understand Igbo.

*speaking of which, I need to learn how to speak or understand Igbo because of all these crushes*

Anyways, for now, there hasn't been any encounter with my new heart-throb, but once it happens, I will definitely let you know. And with that, here's my new boyfriend...

#WCW - Woman Crush Wednesdays

Hey everyone,

No, I will not be starting a WCW series, but today's my mum's birthday and I thought, "Why the neck not?" My mum is my eternal crush! She's the first woman I ever met, and I've loved her from the beginning of my time.

My mum has been there for me at every turn -  in my good, bad, happy and sad times. Remember my post about Robin Williams, where I briefly mentioned a bout with depression? I know my family in general were praying, but my mum really stood in the gap for me. She got her friends, our Bible group, our pastors and others to pray along with her for me. She has consistently prayed for me and my siblings, even going so far as fasting on different days for each of us!

My mum has worked so hard to achieve a lot in her life, and at a point, put her career on hold for the sake of her children. That was one of the most selfless things she could have done, and I thank her for it. Even now, she's on her way to getting her own life back on track, and I pray that God rewards her with a very quick reward.

My very first Iro and Buba!

Yo yo!

I wasn't going to put up this post now, but I have too many pictures from me and Cakes' Dubai trip and then my subsequent jaunt over to my other homeland. I was going to post those first, and then post this one after, but the pictures are too nice jo, so I'm sharing now.

If you guys have noticed, I don't really wear that much traditional attire, and when I do, I prefer them as separates or in "Western" styles (like here) - pencil skirt with a t-shirt, or trad top with jeans, etc. It's not that I don't like them. It's that going to look for materials, then getting a tailor to sew, and the waiting period where you think your tailor has kidnapped your outfit, etc just stresses me out. Anyways, the point of my rambling is that I finally got my very own, first, grown-up Iro and Buba!

My girl, Stylefash would wear them day in and out if you allow her, and I just couldn't understand why. However, after this past Sunday, I must admit that I'm a convert. I'd like to buy bunches and bunches of material and make like 50!!! Please recommend places or businesses where I can buy good quality, but responsibly priced materials :) This one was gotten from O and G, a new business owned by a family friend. I'll get her contact details and share here. I chose this print because of the peacock details and I thought the color would look fabulous against my dark skin. Do you agree?

Without further ado...

My youngest sister Tambar and my photog for the day

"Daddy just wait, only 10 more pictures pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease"

Live in the NOW

Cakes sent me this entry from Joyce Meyer's devotional on Youversion and I edited it to share.

It's easy to complain that you can't be happy now because you don't have enough money or you're single or you're too fat or you're still looking for a job or you failed a class or two... the excuses are many. But you know what? Yes, you have problems, just don't let them dictate how you live today.

CHOOSE joy, CHOOSE peace, CHOOSE to trust God today and make it a daily practice. Consistency is key. If you can, find 3 things to thank Him for, everyday e.g. life, water, somewhere to live, family, plantain!!!

Whatever it is, LIVE TODAY!

Events this Weekend

Hello loverly loves!

I just want to share some events this weekend that I think would be fun to attend. Yeah yeah, social butterfly, blah blah blah. It's good to go out and connect with people. JUST REMEMBER to take your hand sanitizers and keep a small bottle of hand wash handy (hehe, hand - handy, *chuckles* I slay myself!!!).

Without further ado...

The first event is called THE CONVO. It's an interactive mixer for mature adults who are single and dating (and they said us Marrieds can come too, cos I was about to go and picket the event for D.A.M. aka Discrimination Against Marrieds :p). Anyways, the flyer's below and it looks like it would be a fun event. You have buy tickets BEFOREHAND at Afritickets before 9pm TODAY, and the event starts at 2:45pm this Saturday at Nike Art Museum and Gallery.

The next event is a book reading by Ebi Akpeti. She has written "God Has A Sense of Humour," which is a  collection of short funny stories, that includes powerful messages for women and the men who love them :) This event starts at 3pm, also on Saturday, at Bogobiri House in Ikoyi. There'll be music, comedy, and you can always get drinks and food there.

Ebi was one of the participants during the TW Fitness Challenge from last year.

And that my friends should ensure you have a fun and uplifting weekend, if you live in Lagos.

Have a pretty day :)
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Jealous of your Girlfriend

Hello!!!

I feel like the worst blogger in the whole entire world of blogging. But since you know me so well, you've already figured out that I traveled and that's why I've largely been silent. Of course I missed you! I'll tell you all about my trip in a future post but on the plane, Alicia Keys' Songs in A Minor album was available for my listening pleasure. Aaaand, one of my favorite songs from her is 'Girlfriend.' You know the lyrics...

I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She bears a special part of youuuu

Listening to the song brought back old memories for me. You see, at a time, that song could have been written about me. I had this best friend who lived in a different state, and I'd fly over to visit two or three times a year (that's when airfare was cheap as heck!!!) Anyways, because we were close, I usually found myself in the position of the alleged other woman. His girlfriends, one after the other, all suspected that our friendship was more than platonic. In my defense, it's not my fault that I'm super easy to talk to :D As I was saying, my best friend's girlfriends didn't like me because they thought I was laying quietly by the corner to make my move and capture his heart!!!! Yeah right, there was noooo attraction whatsoever on our part.

But something I remembered on the plane was how feisty I was. I always thought that their jealousy was their personal problem and had absolutely nothing to do with me. I would say to myself that they'd have to get used to the fact that I was in his life and would be there forever... well, it didn't last forever - we used to fight like cat and dog; one day we had just drifted apart... If I was in that same position now, half of me thinks to take the mature road and try to become friends with the girlfriend, so that we could all live happily ever after. The other half of me is still feisty and wouldn't care if a girlfriend was jealous of me.

What would you do? Have you ever been in this situation - as the girlfriend or the girl friend?

More Music... Hello Paul Simon!

Yo yo homies yo yo!

How y'all doin? I must say, I feel a pep in my step today (I'll let you know why in a few weeks). So even with all the bad news that's going around Nigeria and the world, I'm just going to let them fall off my shoulders :D

On the way to work this morning, Inspiration FM 92.3 played one of my fave old songs by Paul Simon. Cakes and I danced along, because if you grew up in Nigeria, there was a time where Paul Simon was IT!!! This was after he released his South African inspired (and even recorded) album, Graceland. If I remember correctly, this was also my first introduction to the wonderfully talented Ladysmith Black Mambazo. I mean, the nostalgia and memories... I had a very nice childhood :)

Anyways, so I thought, what better way to usher in the weekend with some videos from Paul Simon!!!! I hope you have a happy time. Love ya, but God loves you waaaaaaaaaaaaay infinity times more!

YOU CAN CALL ME AL

YOU CAN CALL ME AL LIVE

SOUNDS OF SILENCE (SIMON & GARFUNKEL) I love this song!!!

MRS. ROBINSON

Okay, I'm done. Enjoy!


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Don't Worry, Be Happy

If you'd driven to work with me this morning, you would have seen me humming, oohing, mmming, and whistling along to Bobby McFerrin's song... all this with tears in my eyes. As soon as the song started, I remembered that Robin Williams, who tragically killed himself this week was in the video. I thought to myself, "This was a man who brought laughter and joy to so many people, and yet had pain within him." It's really sad, and I wish he didn't have to go like that.

If you're feeling sad, alone, depressed, for whatever reason, please talk to someone. Please tell someone. Hey, you can even email me! But don't go through it alone. I've been there and it literally feels like you're surrounded by darkness - it took the prayers of my family and others to God before I was able to get out of that funk (I barely spoke to anyone for 3 weeks and it's one of my most painful memories, and always brings tears to me).

You are NOT ALONE!

And with that, here's the titular video - my heart goes out to Mr. Williams' family.

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What I did this Weekend: Friends, Family, L'Espace

Hey everyone,

I hope you've gotten off to a great start this week! Mine is being quite wonky to be honest. But I'm refusing to be stressed out anymore. If it works out, fine. If it doesn't, that's their business - a customer will be lost for life, and there are other vendors. Anyways, I digress. My weekend was full of activity [again]. Honestly, I really feel like I hardly do anything at all, but my friends and family always joke about me being a social butterfly - so NOT true.

Friday
I rushed home after work, so that Cakes and I could head over to my dearest Lin's house to chill. We ate (yummy prawns, snails, spring rolls, samosas), drank (mojitos, champagne, water, etc), chatted about Ebola, and watched a family video. I forgot to take pictures, so just try and imagine it in your head. Meanwhile, I decided that night that I was sick and tired of my twists. I determined that my front edges were being twisted and dry, and so I made up my mind to take them off that night. However, when I got home, I was exhausted and saved that activity for the next day.

Proverbs Blog-Along: Day 19

Yup yup, moving right along to Chapter 19!

These are the verses I liked the most from this chapter...

2 Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good;

haste makes mistakes.

To me, this speaks about the value of planning. Yes, you might have a brilliant idea and want to run with it immediately, but you need to take a chill pill and explore how best to go about your idea before making any rash decisions. This can be applied to business ventures, wedding planning, your occupation, finances, etc.

3 People ruin their lives by their own foolishness

and then are angry at the lord.

Lol, imagine that God has been telling you to stay away from a particular boyfriend or girlfriend, but noooooooooo, you insist that he/she is the one. The next thing, they cheat on you and break your heart, and you go and cry to God asking why He allowed such hurt to touch you. Lol, wouldn't it be funny, if God said, "Haha, you're a joker sha."

6 Many seek favors from a ruler;

everyone is the friend of a person who gives gifts!

I think this verse is very true. People in power, or people who are rich and/or very generous tend to have a lot of friends and "friends."

8 To acquire wisdom is to love yourself;

people who cherish understanding will prosper.

Do you love yourself? Yes? Are you doing what you can to acquire wisdom, develop yourself professionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, etc-ally? No? Ooops, you don't love yourself.

11 Sensible people control their temper;

they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Dear Lord, I thank you for the progress made in my life, and I pray for your grace to get even better. Especially when I'm driving. Please forgive me for my terrible display this morning. Amen.

14 Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,

but only the lord can give an understanding wife.

Wow! Another chapter that mentions the value of a wife... an understanding wife, that is. :)

17 If you help the poor, you are lending to the lord—

and he will repay you!

I've mentioned a loooooong time ago how I feel about giving, especially to the poor, especially in Nigeria. There are beggars on pretty much every road, and while I choose to give to only disabled people or children, sometimes I wonder who I think I am to decide who is "worthy" or not of my giving. Of course, there are those who are only out to get money for drugs or alcohol, but is it my place to judge? At the end of the day, I'm obeying God's word and giving to those who are less fortunate, right?

23 Fear of the lord leads to life,

bringing security and protection from harm.

Amen.

Alrighty ladies and gentlemen, any verses that speak to you that I might have missed? Or would you like to contribute to my discussions?


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Proverbs Blog-Along: Day 18

Ooops, I stopped again. I'm soooooooooooooooo sorry. I made a mental note every day until today, but decided to just do it today, instead of thinking about it only. So where were we? Chapter 17 was the last post in the series. I meant to do Days 18 to 20, but this turned into a longer post than I planned.

DAY 18

1It's selfish and stupid to think only of yourself (CEV)

In light of the recent Ebola outbreak across West Africa, I'm using the first part of verse 1 to ask why anyone who knowingly has the disease or has come in contact with someone with the disease refuses to report themselves to the authorities or be quarantined. I hear someone in Lagos who was at risk of having ebola refused to be quarantined, and now she actually has the disease!!!! She has family members who are now at risk! Is it fair?!?!?! People, DO NOT BE SELFISH!!!

10The name of the lord is a strong fortress;

the godly run to him and are safe.

I only picked out this verse because of the song... "The name of the Lord is, a strong tower, the righteous run into it, and they are saaaaaafe." I like running into (no pun intended) verses that are the basis for Christian songs. :)

11The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense;

they imagine it to be a high wall of safety.

Let me not even lie, I feel more comfortable when there's a certain level of money available to me (which is relative because I'm sure some people consider me poor, whereas other consider me rich - haha, yeah right). The point is, when my account drops below a certain balance, I start to panic like the world is about to fall out of the sky. SO WRONG!!!

13Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

13 It's stupid and embarrassing to give an answer before you listen. (CEV)

I decided to quote from 2 versions because it gives a more weighty message. How many times have you started talking and arguing and jumping to conclusions before you've even gotten the full story? I know I have! 

16Giving a gift can open doors; it gives access to important people!

I can't help but think of how people who give bribes will now use this verse to their benefit. :(

21The tongue can bring death or life;

Watch what you say. Your words ARE powerful. Sometimes, I even extend it to my thoughts, because before you say it, you've thought it. If you can vanquish negative thoughts towards someone else, then you won't even utter the words. I have to admit that a lot of times sha, I have to ask God for forgiveness from some mean things in my head. 

22The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the lord. (CEV)

22 A man's greatest treasure is his wife - she is a gift from the LORD. 

Cakes quotes this verse (I put 2 versions) and it makes me smile :)

24There are “friends” who destroy each other,

but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

24Some friends don't help,

but a true friend is closer

than your own family. (CEV)

Isn't this verse so true?!?! When you've found a true friend, you've basically found someone as good as, if not better, than even your own family members. I actually think it's doubly sweeter if/when your family members ARE your friends, e.g. my siblings and parents are among the best friends I could ever have. There's some form of communication EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I also have other non-family members who are so close, I call them cousins or sisters, because a lot people don't understand why we're that close.

What are your favorite verses from Chapter 18?

Berry.

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Ebola Awareness: Salt water?

Hi guys,

So I was about to leave for work this morning, and I gave my neighbor a short ride. She said her father called her this morning saying that T.B. Joshua (a big pastor in Nigeria) said that you should bathe with warm salt water to prevent yourself from getting Ebola. My friend and I both rolled our eyes. By the time I got to work, the news had spread like wildfire and the medical team has been trying to spread the word out that bathing with or drinking salt water to prevent or cure ebola is FALSE!!!!!!!!

Not only can salt not kill viruses, but ingesting too much salt will only have a negative effect on your kidneys. SO PLEASE O, tell your family and friends!

Continue washing your hand regularly, and additionally use hand sanitizers.

Thanks!
Berry.

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Do you know your Love Language?

I first heard about the 5 Love Languages a few years ago at my church in Atlanta, but never really paid attention to it. I finally checked mine when Cakes and I started dating, and I felt like it would end up in marriage. I had bought a book, "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married," by Gary Chapman (who also wrote the 5 Love Languages). One of the very first exercises was to go to the website to figure out which Love Language I "speak" the most. How about after Cakes and I got through the questions SEPARATELY, we both had the same top 2 love languages!

The premise is this: people are different, and the way we all express and receive love is different. Gary Chapman was able to observe couples over time and came up with 5 different Love Languages:

1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Receiving Gifts

Source

Now, people generally express their love in one or two dominant ways, and that is the way they receive love too. For instance, if Acts of Service is my dominant love language, I would feel particularly loved if Cakes did the dishes, and I would feel that I'm showing love by making him breakfast when he's running late for church. If Physical Touch is your dominant love language, you're more prone to giving hugs or high fives, and you feel close to your significant other when he/she kisses you or gives you a foot massage (lol).

It makes things a lot easier when people know their love languages, and those of their friends, family and loved ones. If my friend speaks Words of Affirmation dominantly, she might not appreciate my sending her flowers as much as me writing a letter or email to lift her up. Or if my father's love language is Quality Time, no matter how many S5's I buy him, he won't appreciate them as much as my visiting him and spending time with him.

Soooooooo, what's YOUR Love Language? You can check it here. Please share with me :)

BTW, some kind times, I think my dominant love languages are changing o. I'm going to take the assessment too. 

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What I Did This Weekend

Hello ladies and gentlemen!

How was your weekend?! Did you have fun? I hope so, because I most certainly did!!!

I heard about this event, called The Music Lounge, which would feature musicians (soul and R&B type of music), held at Villa Medici and best of all, FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! So, I planned to go on Friday with Cakes, so we could have a fun date night, and afterwards we would go and watch Half of a Yellow Sun. And then I reserved Saturday night for drinks with my girls.

Of course, being typical me, I didn't really read the information right. The Music Lounge event was supposed to be on Saturday NOT Friday, and I wasn't about to cancel with my friends. Soooooooo, I shifted things around a smidge - Friday would be movie night, and Saturday would be both the music event, and I'd leave early for my girly hangout. Fun stuff, aye?

Proverbs Blog-Along: Day 17

Yay, these are my thoughts on the verses that most stood out to me. The ones I've selected can be applied to friendships, family and relationships. I think they are definitely apt for marriages too.

9. Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.
14. Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.

19.Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin; anyone who trusts in high walls invites disaster.

Truthfully, in our marriage, because I can be dramatic, sometimes I tend to blow up tiny issues and this can cause a disagreement or even lead up to an argument. I think that with time, I've gotten better and try to let things go before I start getting overly upset. But there's still room for improvement, and I'm glad I got a reminder today from this reading.

Have a pretty rest of the day :)
Berry

What I'm Reading: J.A.N.D. Comics

I follow a young lady (see me calling her young lady, as if I know how old or young she is) Studio of Modé, on Instagram, and she's an artist/illustrator here in Nigeria. She started posting a comic series, titled J.A.N.D. which is an acronym for Just Another Nigerian Drama. It's only 7 "episodes" in, but I think it's pretty interesting so far.

Source

EXCERPTS (from Instagram)

Add caption. Meet Sade... Q&A with Sadé Q: Which celebrity do you get mistaken for? A: No one. But I've been called the black Kim K a few times. I'm fine, she's fine so that's all good to me. 

Happy reading and have a fun weekend!

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Proverbs Blog-Along: Day 16

Right off the bat, the first verse packs a big punch!

1We can make our own plans,

but the lord gives the right answer.

I mean, BAM! Has it happened to you before that you make all these plans, e.g. decide that your boyfriend is definitely the one for you, and then God is just like "Nope, I have something/one else for you." It's much better to go with what God has planned and purposed for you because, they will surpass anything that you have planned for yourself.

3Commit your actions to the lord,

and your plans will succeed.

It might look like we should make our plans and then commit them to God for them to succeed in this verse. But the truth is, as you commit your actions to Him and listen for His voice and instructions, He just might lead you in a different path. Or He might agree with your actions. The point is to commit whatever is in your heart to God, and He will give you discernment to lead to your success.

4The lord has made everything for his own purposes,

EVERYTHING. Including YOU. Made for HIS purpose. Just think on this and assess whether your thoughts, actions, and words are aligned with His will and purpose.

9We can make our plans,

but the lord determines our steps.

Just like verse 1, this talks about the plans we make.

24Kind words are like honey—

sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

The power of your words is so real. Wouldn't you rather hear compliments and kind words about yourself? Well, it's a two-way street. You should also be that person who has something kind and sweet to say.

31Gray hair is a crown of glory;

it is gained by living a godly life.

Hehe, I chuckled at this one. Everybody that's dyeing their grey hair... are you seeing? Are you hearing? So the 7 new grey hairs I found on my arm should be celebrated, right? :D


Have a pretty weekend everybawdy! Wash your hands regularly.
*still with the air kisses*

Berry

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PSA - More on Ebola

Hey guys,

I got a broadcast this morning that Bitter Kola has been verified internationally as a cure against Ebola. That eating it slows down or inhibits growth of the virus in your body.

PLEASE NOTE: In 1999, BBC posted an article about this topic. This is what people are using to broadcast this information now, 15 years later. According to the World Health Organization and Centers for Disease Control in 2014, there is still no verified cure for Ebola. That is not to say, vaccines or drugs aren't being researched. But there is nothing that is clinically verified for use right now.

Please DO NOT spread that broadcast if you get it. The information is outdated.

Thanks,
Berry Dakara.

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Calling all Beauty Enthusiasts

Noooope, there isn't an event for beauty and makeup enthusiasts that I want to promote. On the contrary, I am in the market for beauty products. Right now, I order all my makeup from Atlanta, and whenever the 'rents are on their way back, they drop off my items for me.

However, I'm beginning to think that it might be somewhat easier to simply source my products locally. I don't mean I want to pay for international products with a 300% markup. I'm interested in trying Nigerian brands. I've seen a lot of good reviews of Sleek products, House of Tara and a few others. But I'd really like to hone in on one or two brands and use them exclusively, for the most part.

Sooooooooooo, this is where the makeup artists and beauty lovers come in! Help me choose where I can get a good start from. Please note that I ALWAYS prefer a natural look, and I'm not interested in spending a fortune on makeup. For me, the necessities are...

• Light foundation
• Powder
• Eye liner
• Lipstick or lipstain
• I might be inclined to try a bronzer or concealer (for special occasions only)

Ooooh, what would be optimal is a brand that has a studio where they can teach the regular woman (not unlike moi) how to use makeup - a day face, and night face. 

Kindly leave suggestions in the comments please!

*air kisses* #Ebola is still real.

Berry

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