What I would Have Done Differently for my Wedding

It's been almost 3.5 years since we got married in our beautiful Lagosian Beach Wedding. As much as I loved it, and was on such a high for a while, there are some things that I would change if I had to go back to that time.

Book Review - Happy Wives Club

I came across this book, titled Happy Wives Club, while perusing a local Christian bookstore. I won't lie - the main reason why I bought it was because it was on sale - less than $3. But reading the premise of the book "One woman's worldwide search for the secrets of a great marriage" also caught my interest. These are very interesting times. Social media has allowed a lot of information to be shared, and very often, sadly, the stories about marriage are negative. You don't have to look far to read stories of separations, divorce, infidelity, abuse, and more in marriages all over the world. Whereas our parents typically kept quiet about such issues, our generation is more open. And if we're being truthful, marriage honestly doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore. Even in marriages without major issues, a lot of spouses are just simply "managing." It's particularly painful because God created marriage, and anything He creates is inherently good - but as humans, we have allowed it to become bad.

Source

God Works in Mysterious Ways

In 2010, I was in my late twenties, working an okay job in Atlanta and wondering whether I should move back to Nigeria. You see, I left Nigeria at 15 years old and I didn't know what it was like to experience Nigeria as an adult. Lots of young Nigerians like me had moved back and seemed to be having these great, awesome lives. I really wanted to find out what opportunities there were out there for me, so after praying for a bit, I made the decision to move back right after my sister's wedding and my birthday in 2011.

30 and Unmarried - Part 2

As I was saying in my previous post, my family members were very worried about me because I was quickly approaching 30, unmarried, and didn't seem to care. And truthfully, I really didn't care that much. I knew I would get married eventually, but I wasn't on a timetable. Yeah, it probably helped that there were different guys along the way, so I was preoccupied anyways *hides face.* But the bottom line is that I wasn't sitting somewhere, wallowing and waiting for my life to start, because I did have a life!

30 and Unmarried - Part 1

I got the idea of this post from a tweet that Sugabelly posted last week.

Wondering if there are any "testimonies" from Nigerian women 27 and above who didn't settle and found love with a man with 95% of their reqs

— Sugabelly (@sugabelly) January 18, 2017

Being a Nigerian/African woman typically means that by the time you're done with your first degree, family members are eagerly awaiting your wedding announcement. You're probably between 23 and 25 years old at the time, and woe betide you if there's no eligible suitor hanging around.

So In Love With JORD!

About 3 years ago, I put up a post on the 5 Love Languages. Cakes and I, in preparation for our upcoming marriage, took the assessment separately. The first time I took the assessment (4 years ago), my primary love language was Physical Touch, with Quality Time and Receiving Gifts close behind. Since then, I've taken the assessment twice, and both times, Receiving Gifts has been my primary love language, with Quality Time and Physical Touch tied in second place. When I really think about it, I particularly enjoy when Cakes gives me well thought-out gifts, and spends time with me, even if we're just lying in bed, legs intertwined and doing nothing in particular.

BERRY VLOG - On Soulmates

Not too long ago, my sister tagged me in a post and it had to do with soulmates. Over the years, I've changed my thought process on whether soulmates are real or not. But while doing quick "research" during the filming of this vlog, I got totally stumped!

BERRY WRITES - A Quick Love Story

BERRY WRITES is a weekly feature where I will share my thoughts on different topics culled from my 300 Writing Prompts journal. You can look forward to them every Tuesday, and you're very welcome to tell me your experiences and thoughts as well.

BERRY VLOG - My First Heartbreak

Young love... I remember what it felt like to be young and "in love" so many moons ago. Back then, I was so sure about love being like a fairy tale, no thanks to Disney. DISCLAIMER - I LOVE DISNEY!!! Anyways, during our weekend trip with just the girls, we gisted and laughed about all our shenanigans from way back when. My cousin reminded me about this guy who I could just not get over, for absolutely no reason! I mean, we dated for just a month, and yet years later, I would still be crying over him - I told you, MAKES NO SENSE! Watch as I gist a little bit about it in my latest vlog.

BERRY WRITES - The Best Thing About Being Partnered

I'm introducing a new segment on the blog, called BERRY WRITES. I'm sure I've mentioned more than a few times that even though I have been blogging for a few years, I don't consider myself to be a writer. It doesn't make sense, but I'm weird like that. Even when I get compliments about this blog and other pieces I've written (check out some of them here), I usually reply with very modest gratitude. In one of my recent vlogs, someone asked me if I'd consider writing a book and even though I'm still very skeptical that anyone would want to read a book by me, I am challenging myself to write more.

I got this journal a month ago with the express intention of writing everyday for 300 days. Today was the first time I wrote in it, and I intend to share some of my thoughts in this journal with you. This will be a weekly feature - on Tuesdays - and you're welcome to add your own thoughts in the comments every week :)

Why You Need Alone Time in your Relationship

Hey there!

As you all know, Cakes and I were apart for almost two months recently. His bakery still runs in Lagos, Nigeria and he went to go and check on things over there. Like I have mentioned before, he will be going back and forth between Lagos and Atlanta. For now, he's here until December so if you're in Atlanta, call 404-993-3770 to order your cakes and small chops.

Anyways, while he was away, I kept getting questions and messages that insinuated that I was probably miserable because he wasn't with me. Erm... not quite.

Orange Is The New Black

SURPRISE! This Style Post features Cakes and myself!!!

Well, it wasn't supposed to but I took some photos of Cakes while trying to set the camera, and they were nice, so I thought 'Why not share?"

How to Be Single

Hi everyone,

Cakes and I went on an impromptu date a few weeks ago, and the 2 movie options were Deadpool and How to Be Single. I feel like most times we go to the movies, we end up watching an action film, so I really wanted to watch a chick flick. When I was single (pun intended), I mostly watched Chick Flicks, Rom-Coms, and ALWAYS Superhero movies. In this instance though, I wanted to go for something light and funny, so How to Be Single was the choice. It wasn't a bad movie - there was laughter in some scenes. However, I didn't know it was rated R - there was A LOT of random hooking up (sex o) and F-bombs everywhere. That aside. it made me think about my life before I met Cakes.

The Moment Cakes left the Friend-Zone

Cakes and I met in February or March of 2012, near the start of my NYSC year. I've told the story a few times here about how we met, but the short version is - we met at church. The longer version is the pastor said we should say hello to 5 new people, and Cakes was the first person I said hello to, I think. Well, he appeared in front of me from nowhere and introduced himself.

Even though we didn't speak again for a week afterwards, I thought he was cute and sent him a text message. He called and I think we've spoken almost everyday since then. Now, I wasn't particularly looking for a boyfriend (very looooooooooong story), so we became friends. There was an attraction, yes, but I wasn't in that head space of having a boyfriend. Before I agreed to be his girlfriend much later that year, I hadn't had an official boyfriend for 6 years! Not that there were no guys in between - there were... (maybe too many) - but nobody made it to relationship status. I was determined that my next boyfriend would be my final boyfriend.

Anyways, after a couple of months of getting to know him better, hanging out, talking on the phone, he mentioned that he had a wedding a couple of hours away. He was going as a guest and also the wedding cake designer, and he asked me to come along. I wasn't busy that weekend and agreed to go with him and his friends. The mini road trip was nice, we got to the wedding, had fun and on the drive home, he sat in the backseat with me.

Something clicked in my head and I rested my head on his shoulder (or maybe chest) and in an instant, I thought to myself, "Hmm. I think I can see him as my boyfriend." Nothing extraordinary happened, but that moment was a game changer for me.

The one photo from that day.

It still took some time for all of me to get to the point where I could agree to be his girlfriend, but I can say without a doubt, that singular moment when I rested on him was the start of #BerryandCakes.

Happy Valentine's Day!

VLOG: Husband Tag featuring Cakes

Valentine's weekend is upon us and I thought it would be a special treat to post my first vlog that features Cakes!!!

We did the Husband Tag, where I asked him some questions and it was a fun video to shoot. I hope you enjoy it and get to know a little more about Berry and Cakes!

Please Subscribe to my channel; Like and Share the video too :)

P.S. There's a BIG announcement coming up on Monday!!!

25 Valentine's Day Blog Post Ideas

Hey everyone,

This post is mainly for Bloggers. As we all know, it's the month of Love and Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. If you haven't started writing your blog posts around the period of love, here are 20 Blog Post Ideas that you can use. I've used some of them before.

Berry and Cakes' Anniversary Date

Hiya!

How's your week going? I hope it's fine. Mine is craaaaaaaaazy busy! It's taking me so long to respond to emails and comments because work is busy as heck! As in, I have little time to play - which is why I need to have a better structure to the blog (more on that next week).

So you know that just 2 weeks ago was our anniversary but I was too sick and tired to actually go out and celebrate it. Cakes wanted us to go out to lunch, but I suggested we get small chops from church and go back home for me to sleep. We agreed to postpone the outing to a later date, and that was this past weekend! I wanted us to go somewhere a little more fancy than our regular dates, so we had dinner at Sky Lounge in Eko Hotel and Suites. I've eaten there a gajillion times with my friends, but Cakes had never been, so it was a nice opportunity for him.

Berry Dakara Instagram 2015 Best Nine

Yo yo,

I wasn't sure if I would do a 2015 Blog recap, like I did for 2014 - but I guess I should right?

Anyways, a couple of days ago, I started noticing the following hashtag on Instagram - #2015BestNine. So today I decided to check mine out and I thought it'd be nice to share with you :D

Berry Good Marriage/Relationship Advice

Hello friends,

As you all know, I consider myself to be very wise and like dishing out advice to those in need and those who don't care. I've told you why using pet names is bad for you, why you shouldn't have "our song," etc. Today I'm here to tell you why you shouldn't reprimand your significant other for spending money and shopping. 

The Blogger, The Baker, and The Red Tree

I wondered how to title this post. I had a few options like

Berry, Cakes and A Red Tree

or

Actually, that was the only other option I had :p