March 27, 2013

A Nigerian in defense of Kim Kardashian...

I really wasn't going to comment on Nigeria vs Kim Kardashian, but I'm really getting sick, tired and irritated with all the holier-than-thou hypocrites who constantly demean Kim K. and have absolutely nothing good to say about her.

  1. Her sex tape: Ok, she had sex with her boyfriend; they taped it; it leaked; she turned it around and made money from it. 100% of people who attack her on this have sinned in one way or another. Guess what? Your sin isn't holier than hers. SHUT UP AND STOP JUDGING! *makes mental note to stop saying icky things about Rihanna and Taylor Swift* #HypocriteInReform

  2. Her appearance at Darey's concert: I personally don't think Kim K. would dishonor a contract. That doesn't mean that she never has. However, for everyone who was annoyed that she was on stage for 45 seconds, what did you expect her to do? She's not a performing artist! Her singing is terrible! Her dancing is worse! So what exactly is your point? Oh, that Darey supposedly spent 500K to bring her here? Is it your money? Is he complaining to you? Is it Nigerian money that he stole to pay her? If you answered NO to any of the three preceding questions, then CALM DOWN!

  3. That she tweeted some rubbish about Nigerian women: Let's face it - You already don't like her, so you WILL be quick to attack her for tweeting something so stupid, naturally. BUT someone else has already said he made it all up - and is even gloating about it (never mind that she's been insulted over and over again for the better part of the last 24 hours). Kim Kardashian may have loose morals (to the holier-than-thou folk), but she's not foolish. 
So, what am I saying in essence, LEAVE HER ALONE! We already have enough problems within the country, so why are you making noise about a pregnant woman on the other side of the world?!

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What I'm Watching NOW - Naija Runs Girl and Ikenna Azuike

OMG!!! I'm laughing so hard, there are tears!

Ok, if you're Nigerian and you don't know about Naija Runs Girl, then you've most definitely been living under a rock stuck in the deepest darkest part of the ocean! For my non-Nigerians, a 'runs girl' is basically a girl who sleeps with men for money - not quite a prostitute, but not far from it either. Naijarish Baby, created the character 'Lolita the Naija Runs Girl' on Youtube early this year, and she's HILARIOUS!!! Recently though, she's teamed up with Ikenna Azuike of What's Up Africa, and the collaboration has been pure genius! Their most recent video is a parody of My Fair Lady, and in this one, Lolita's trying to change Emeka Dolittle into a proper Nigerian man.

I think to properly get the gist, if you haven't been following NRG, I'll post the whole series of videos.
  1. Naija Runs Girl

  2. Naija Runs Girl Makeup

  3. How to Spot a Faker Vs Money Maker

  4. London Runs Girls

  5. White Hunter - How to Catch Oyinbo Man

  6. My Fair Naija Boy

March 26, 2013

100 Questions

I did a Google search just now for 100 questions, and this is the list I've chosen... Enjoy :)

  1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
    ~ Well, page 18 of 'Diary of a Purpose Diva' is blank. LOL.
  2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
    ~ My purple BB playbook.
  3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
    ~ Rubbing vaseline on my hands.
  4. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
    ~ Bridesmaids. LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie! Must-watch EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!
  5. Without looking, guess what time it is
    ~ 10:23 am
  6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
    ~ Gawsh, it's 10:31 am
  7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
    ~ Cake's voice
  8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
    ~ This morning. Coming to the office.
  9. Did you dream last night?
    ~ I think so. YES, YES
  10. Do you remember your dreams?
    ~ Yes.
  11. When did you last laugh?
    ~ A few minutes ago
  12. Do you remember why / at what?
    ~ Cos someone said I'm wicked. Teeheehee, yes I am. HAW HAW HAW *mean laughter*
  13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
    ~ Posters that say you shouldn't use your phone while driving, and no alcohol/drugs while working or driving
  14. Seen anything weird lately?
    ~ Ummm. No? Yes? Maybe? I can't remember?
  15. What do you think of this quiz?
    ~ LOVES IT!
  16. What is the last film you saw?
    ~ Bridesmaids (well, half of it).
  17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
    ~ Erm, Monaco.
  18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
    ~ A new car. And a house. And pay off any family debts.
  19. Tell me something about you that most people don't know.
    ~ Why? No, thanks.
  20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
    ~ Tough on. Ummm, that people couldn't die? Good people, that is, no thieves, murderers, rapists, corrupt politicians, etc.
  21. Do you like to dance?
    ~ Oui.
  22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
    ~ Hecks yeah!
  23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
    ~ Apparently not (I just tried using Berry Dakara on 2 anagram solvers, and NOTHING)
  24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
    ~ Lin
  25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
    ~ Hmm. A Facebook report.
  26. Last time you swam in a pool?
    ~ Last year. Summer. I scared my baby nephew :(
  27. Type of music you like most?
    ~ Pop n B
  28. Type of music you dislike most?
    ~ Heavy metal maybe
  29. Are you listening to music right now?
    ~ Nope
  30. What color is your bedroom carpet?
    ~ Ain't got none.
  31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
    ~ Is this a trick question? How about 24/7 light? And actual CLEAN RUNNING water - from the shower heads - HOT and COLD. And ceilings that aren't breaking off in pieces on my bed! And pipes that aren't leaking! Uggh!
  32. What was the last thing you bought?
    ~ Erm, gas for my car.
  33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
    ~ Yes. Eeek!
  34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
    ~ Honestly doubt it. I have a fear of falling.
  35. Do you have a garden?
    ~ Nope, but I want to plant one at a school.
  36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
    ~ Yezzur.
  37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
    ~ *boohoo* I have to turn on the water heater and fetch water
  38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
  39. Who sent the last text message you received?
    ~ Globacom. But I DID NOT try to send an SMS, so I dunno what you're talking about my message didn't go through :-S
  40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
    ~ Hmm. What store houses Michael Kors, DVF, Carolina Herrera, Zara and H&M?
  41. What time is bed time?
    ~ 10ish, 11ish
  42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
    ~ Hehe, yes. *DISASTER*
  43. How many tattoos do you have?
    ~ Zero
  44. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?
    ~ Nope
  45. What did you do for your last birthday?
    ~ Cried, got a facial, went to a Thai restaurant with Chidynma and got a cake from Cakes
  46. Do you carry a donor card?
    ~ Nope
  47. Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
    ~ My aunt and uncle who I live with
  48. Is the glass half empty or half full?
    ~ Both.
  49. What's the farthest-away place you've been?
    ~ California, unfortunately. It should be Hawaii or Australia/New Zealand
  50. When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
    ~ Eww.
  51. Have you ever won a trophy?
    ~ Nope. I don't think so.
  52. Are you a good cook?
    ~ Sometimes.
  53. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
    ~ Yup.
  54. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
    ~ Marilyn Monroe or Michael Jackson
  55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
    ~ Oui
  56. Do you touch-type?
    ~ Oui
  57. What's under your bed?
    ~ Dust maybe. Dust, definitely. #DontJudgeMe
  58. Do you believe in love at first sight?
    ~ No. But yes. But no. Realistically, no. But it can happen.
  59. Think fast, what do you like right now?
    ~ Food.
  60. Where were you on Valentine's day?
    ~ Work, and then traffic, and then Terra Kulture.
  61. What time do you get up?
    ~ 5:30am, then 5:45, then between 6:00 and 6:15am
  62. What was the name of your first pet?
    ~ No pets!
  63. Who is the second to last person to call you?
    ~ Cakes
  64. Is there anything going on this weekend?
    ~ EASTERRRRRRRR, and my cousin's wedding!!!
  65. How are you feeling right now?
    ~ Soooooooo hungry!
  66. What do you think about the most?
    ~ Blogs, life?
  67. What time do you get up in the morning?
    ~ I feel like I answered this already - See question 61
  68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
    ~ Family, immediately. Closest friends, 3 days. Everybody else, let them find out.
  69. Who would you tell first?
    ~ My family.
  70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
    ~ Ghollywood movie, Contract. *swoons* Joseph Benjamin is sooooo foine! Can I marry him?
  71. Do you sing in the shower?
    ~ Nope. Having a bath in our house is NOT FUN
  72. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
    ~ Maybe this list of questions wasn't the best one out there... *blank stare*
  73. What do you do most when you are bored?
    ~ Browse the interweb
  74. What do you do for a living?
    ~ Analyze and sort data. And tweet, BB, FB.
  75. Do you love your job?
    ~ :)
  76. What did you want to be when you grew up?
    ~ A doctor
  77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
    ~ A luxury hotel/travel reviewer
  78. Which came first the chicken or the egg?
    ~ Chicken. God didn't make eggs first.
  79. How many keys on your key ring?
    ~ 1
  80. Where would you retire to?
    ~ Iono. Retirement isn't on my mind right now.
  81. What kind of car do you drive?
    ~ Honda Accord
  82. What are your best physical features?
    ~ Kiss-Me-Quick lips, and I hear my eyes.
  83. What are your best characteristics?
    ~ I can be easy to talk to (depends on who you ask), I can be jolly and happy-go-luckily random (depends on what mood you meet me in)
  84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
    ~ The Mediterranean countries
  85. What kind of books do you like to read?
    ~ Romance
  86. Where would you want to retire to?
    ~ Somewhere quiet, peaceful, close to blue water, pretty, with vineyards, where I can ride a vespa.
  87. What is your favorite time of the day?
    ~ Hmm. Morning, but like 10ish?
  88. Where did you grow up?
    ~ Port Harcourt
  89. How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
    ~ Not far at all.
  90. What are you reading now?
    ~ There Was A Country by Chinua Achebe
  91. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
    ~ Morning person
  92. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
    ~ I have a short tongue :(
  93. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
    ~ Just did
  94. Do you have pets?
    ~ No likey animals.
  95. How many rings before you answer the phone?
    ~ 1 to 2
  96. What is your best childhood memory?
    ~ I can't pick one.
  97. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
    ~ Pizza delivery girl, Theater Box Office Attendant, Event Planner, etc
  98. Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?
    ~ Yes and no. So no.
  99. What is most important in life?
    ~ God, and then family
  100. What Inspires You?
    ~ Love? Pretty things? Successful people? 

Ok, I'm done and I'm still SO TOTALLY HUNGRY!!!! Can lunch time come already? :(


Hello ladies and gentlemen!

How are ya? *why does it feel like I'm writing a letter every time I put up a post?*

Anyways, I was just reading one of my devotionals this morning... if you're not reading your Bible, sign up with Youversion NOW!!!!! So I was reading from Joyce Meyer's Promises for Your Everyday Life, and today's topic is "Love Everyone Differently." The entry goes on to talk about how God is so creative that he made each and every person on Earth different. Let's not even talk about personalities and gifts and talents and quirks. Just even something as "simple" as a fingerprint.

There are over 7 BILLION PEOPLE in the world. (at this exact second while I type this, there are an estimated  7,106,314,602 people). And every single person has their own different, unique, one-of-a-kind fingerprint! Isn't that just mind-boggling? Like howwwwwww? Seriously, God, like how did/do You do it? It's all kinds of a-MAH-zing!

Can you imagine the kind of creativity required to make something over and over and over and over again, and have it be different, over 7 billion times?!


Sawry, I know it's random but I just had to share. If you ever feel just blah or whatever, take a look at your finger. God made you. God made you unique. There is NOBODY on Earth like you. And He loves you!

The end. Buhbye. Have a pretty day.
BTW, there are now 7,106,322,824 people in the world.

March 22, 2013

My March Book

Hey everyone,

So a couple of days ago, I posted my 2013 Goals progress. One of my goals, if you remember, is to read 13 books this year (including the Bible). I read Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility in January. A lady at my church wrote a book, which I reluctantly chose as my February book. It's a really short book and I still can't get myself to finish it. So I started my March book: There Was A Country by Chinua Achebe. I haven't yet finished it. I'll start Part 2 today and hopefully finish it before April starts. I might devote a post later on, after I complete the book - Nigeria just makes me sad.

Anyway, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because I've just heard unconfirmed reports that Chinua Achebe has died. It's a tragic loss for Nigeria and the literary world. May he rest in perfect peace. I think I'll add Things Fall Apart to my books list for the year. I don't remember jack about it, having read it in Primary/Secondary School.

A young Chinua Achebe

My March Book

Rest in peace Mr. Chinua Achebe.

What I'm Listening to Now - JT's Baaaaaaack!

I logged on to Youtube just now and saw Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" suggested. I didn't really get "Suit and Tie" - his collabo with Jay Z. BUT THIS song is SOOOOOO PRETTY! I wish I understood the video, but I totally don't get it and I'm not even trying to wrap my head around it. Just give it a listen and have a pretty weekend.

BTW - LOVE LOVE LOVE Justin's dancing in the mirrors.

March 21, 2013

Girl Crush - Allison Williams

If you don't watch Girls (on HBO) or live in the States, chances are you have no idea who this chick is. Her name is Allison Williams and I think she's absolutely gorgeous, talented and intelligent! She just happens to be my girl crush of the moment (I change every now and then... Christina Hendricks, Kate Upton, ScarJo, Eku Edewor, etc). Her father is Brian Williams (NBC Nightly News), she's about 24/25, and graduated with an English degree from Yale!

She's a great actress, and sings like an angel (well Disney Princess), and is FUNNY!!! Check out some of her pictures and videos and fall in crush, like moi!

Stunning eyes!

Pretty dress - to copy or not?

1. Mad Men Theme Song/Nature Boy - Allison Williams

There are other videos on Youtube: her imitation of Princess Kate Middleton, and her remixed version of Kanye West's 'Stronger.' I'd like to put them up here, but the language is quite questionable and erm, Dakarents read my blog (let's not shock them). Feel free to look them up yourself.

*twirls away for the day - maybe*


Random - How to Survive an Elevator Fall

Ok, I agree I can be completely random sometimes. Since yesterday afternoon, it's been on my mind to research how to survive an elevator crash. I work in a 17-story building in Lagos, and I'm on the 4th floor. The thought has occurred to me in the past: "What would happen if this elevator went into free-fall now?" I had the perfect solution - JUMP at the last minute! But yesterday, I decided that I must research it and know for sure. And then 5 minutes later, I changed my mind about researching it, because I didn't want to jinx myself.

And now I'm at work this morning, and this thing is still nagging at my brain. So research, I did! And NPR, as well as other sources, told me that jumping ain't the way to go.  See the graphics below...

Here I is, Just chilling in the elevator, Listening to some  muzak (muzak is elevator music, btw)

And then, the next thing, *snap snap snap* elevator begins to fall. What does someone do?

Jump at the last minute? 
Sit or squat or crouch down?

LIE DOWN!!! Make sure your booty's to the floor
Oh, and cover your head with your arms, in case of falling debris.

Now, from further research, it appears that the likelihood of an elevator free fall is VERY SMALL. Elevator accidents are more likely due to doors failing - opening before the elevator car's there and if you're not looking, you walk into open space and plunge to the bottom; or catching you halfway between floors, so you're stuck and then the elevator starts moving and crushes you.

YIKES!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy am I looking up morbid stuff like this? I think I should go get a cuppa tea.

*And I'll be taking stairs for the the better part of the next week. Although I always worry I'll fall down a flight of stairs. I have a fear of falling, which is different from a fear of heights.*

:-| Sawry for the early morning randomness that is me. 

3six5ng Project

Hola amigos!

I'd like to introduce y'all to the 3six5ng Project. Without going into too much detail, it's based on another project (3six5) and the premise is this:

  • 365 days
  • 365 posts
  • 365 words in each post
  • 365 pictures
  • 365 people (1 post/picture each)
  • Nigerians around the world, or anyone with a connection to Nigeria
So far, it's been fun reading from a different person every day. I've signed up, and my day's April 7th (can't wait). I think each post is supposed to reflect how the day went in 365 words and an accompanying picture. I've read about someone witnessing the unfortunate demise of a cow; a lady's daily commute in Washington DC; someone's yoga routine; and a lot more. 

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease join in and also spread the word too! You don't necessarily have to be a blogger or writer. Just let everyone know how your day went, in whatever part of the world you're in, surrounded by whoever. Let's be part of something bigger than each of us, connecting with random strangers in and outside Nigeria! I promise it'll be fun :)

Berry :)

March 20, 2013

Long Overdue Goals Check-In/Update

It's that time again! Time to check in and update progress on Berry Dakara's 2013 Goals post. My previous progress report can be found here  End of January Goals Check In Time ! Quite frankly, it's not going as well as it could - and I have only myself to blame. I'm not doing poorly, but I could do better.

Goal Steps Progress
1. Live independently by the second half of the year (new apartment, new car) i. Determine cost of housing in desired area.
ii. Determine cost of desired car.
iii. Work out necessary saving plan.
i. I've got a tentative idea of the budget. I need to start looking and seeing what's out there now.
ii. Car budget's been increased by a little bit, and now I gotta find a car. A pretty one.
2. Get married by the end of the year i. Ask God for direction.
ii. Start studying marriage books. You gotta study for it!
iii. The rest is a secret.
i. Sometimes I feel like I'm a little selfish - how will I get married if I'm selfish?
ii. And I'm really close to my family. Must I cleave? Can I hyphenate my married name?
iii. Still keeping lips hushed
3. Try out Nollywood i. Talk to my actor friend for pointers.
ii. Ask other friend with access to Nollywood to introduce me around.
iii. Pool the little Nollywood-esque body of work I've done from YouTube and spread.
iv. Also order personal calling cards.
i. Card designed, still not ordered.
ii. Nag one or two people to post up other "work" I've done.
iii. I have access to a director/actor now, but I'm too shy to say anything :(
4. Lose 13 pounds by my birthday and keep it off all year! i. Check weight everyday.
ii. Do the 10lbs Slimdown series which means going to bed and waking up early!
iii. Do the Max Capactiy Training app on BB Playbook
iv. Eat more healthy
v. Drink coffee no more than 2ce a week
ii. February was a hard month cos I was sick on and off. Didn't exercise as much as I wanted.
iii. Fallen off the exercise wagon, and now I compensate with bad eating/diet habits.
iv. My BB Playbook crashed btw :(
v. Still drinking coffee only 2ce a week! Yay me
5. Read at least 13 books (Bible included) by the end of the year i. One book or more per month and
ii. One Year Bible
i. I didn't read a book in February! Started one last week (but bored with it), so I'm reading my March book (There Was a Country by Chinua Achebe)
ii. I'm NOT on track with the 90-Day Bible Plan. *hides face*
6. Put on my makeup before I leave the house daily i. Wake up 5 minutes earlier.
ii. Have makeup palette laid out for easy access.
i. Maybe I should settle for doing my makeup in my car :-|
7. Make one beaded accessory monthly i. Plan ahead - necklace, ear rings, rings... decide beforehand.
ii. Look up DIY blogs and Etsy for creative ideas.
i. I made 1.9 necklaces in January, a ring in February. Yay me!
ii. Made an earring last week - March almost done
8. Have an emergency-only savings account with at least N1,000,000.00 by the end of the year i. Save N100,000.00 a month.
iii. List all monthly expenses (overcompensate, just in case)
iv. Put down income (maybe underestimate by a bit)
If difference is less than N100k a month, reduce expenses.
i. It's hard to save when you have big expenses coming up, so I'm not sure I even want to count any savings as savings.
9. Find and volunteer once a month at a charity i. List interests and things-that-touch-my-heart.
ii. Start researching online and via church.
iii. Ask parents if/how I can help with their philanthropy.
i. Woohoo! I just signed up to volunteer once/twice a month at a nearby orphanage
ii. We're working on a community project at church, so YAY too!
iii. I want to join Rotary (like my grandfather) and make a difference - NO TIME right now
10. Go to England and Greece or Ghana i. Decipher when the next potential work break is.
ii. Start scouting tickets for that period on various airlines.
iii. Start contacting friends/family for accommodation purposes.
i. At this rate, I'm traveling next year. *rolls eyes*
11. Read my Bible, pray every day, and fast more often i. Wake up early!!!
ii. Utilize YouVersion bible/devotional plans.
iii. Praying is TALKING to God, so just TALK!
i. Dear God, give me a motivated heart on EVERY ITEM :(
12. Follow Nigerian news weekly – not just entertainment news, and not just on Bella Naija i. Ask around and research Nigerian news outlets.
ii. Select and subscribe to 1 or 2 - email deliveries?
i. There's just no point.

*Dear God, please help me be interested*
13. Get a fulfilling/rewarding job i. Write down skills, hobbies, interests.
ii. Update resume.
iii. Subscribe to job websites and keep an active lookout.
i. Resume updated! Haphazardly applied to a couple of places. Should do a focused job search

March 19, 2013

Follow me!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

BTW: I'm starting yet another blog... :-|. Will let y'all know when I've started it. Maybe I should try Wordpress, instead of Blogger... Or Tumblr... Will decide soon.

Oh, and I'm on Twitter too, so follow me: @BerryChocoLatte

Berry :)

March 18, 2013

Baby, let me upgrade you...

So I was just browsing the 'net, as usual, and I stumbled across some comments made by male supermodel, Tyson Beckford. About a year ago, Tyson was giving an interview and talked about his girlfriend, Shanina Shaik, and her rising career as a model. This is what he had to say:

When I found her she was a regular girl. I helped place her with the right people, 
get her teeth cleaned, her body toned up. ‘Everything changed and now everyone 
wants a piece of her. I hear people say, "You can do better than Tyson.” 
I’m like, “Really? Really?! I created her!”?’

*Ahem* Excuse me? He created her?! What the hell kinda comment is that? And for him to make that comment, means that he believes it to a certain extent.

Okay, I understand that in a lot of relationships, there isn't equal footing. Someone's usually richer, older, more experienced, from a wealthier background, smarter, more spiritual, etc. I think that in a good relationship, the partner who's stronger in certain areas would want to "upgrade" their partner into reaching a higher level. A good partner would want their significant other to be "better;" to be the best woman/man that they can possibly be. Maybe you'd introduce him to a wider network of professionals, in order to boost his career or business. Maybe you'd invite her to church and bible study, and pray with her, in order to help her get closer to God. Maybe you'd take each other shopping to improve wardrobes/styles (OR Kanye West apparently making a lot of style choices for Kim Kardashian these days... and NOT in a good way, IMHO). Maybe you'd take him to nice restaurants, instead of hanging with him at 'nkwobi' joints. Maybe you'd ask her about her life and career goals, in order to get her mind churning to realize her potential. The list is endless...

But when your significant other gets to "that point" (whatever it is), do you take credit for it? Do you go out and tell everyone that you "made" them who they are? Do you take responsibility and make sure your partner never forgets where they came from and where you've brought them to? I think that is just terribly TACKY and ARROGANT! Helping your partner become a "better" version of themselves, isn't bad. Telling the whole world that you made them better, BAD BAD BAD!

Shanina had a great comeback though:

"I did not take his comments seriously. He has always supported me. But he did not make me. 
My mother made me." Then through her absolutely perfect smile she said, 
"He's in the dog house, but I'll let him out if he's good."

LOL! And now I'll leave you with an aptly titled song/video: Beyonce's Upgrade U

*disclaimer: I wouldn't mind being upgraded to first-class travel and five-star hotels around the world*

March 17, 2013

Dakara Style - Cream/Pink Lace

Hi guys n gals!

So this past weekend was my cakey friend's birthday and I took him out for dinner. I took him to this very nice restaurant, Uptown at Avenue Suites in Victoria Island. The restaurant is SO pretty and I'm definitely going back there :). Since it was a special occasion, I wanted to look pretty, soft, and romantic - so I went with some lace items in my closet... It was such a pretty night, yes it was :)

Notice the different earrings

I made this earring the night before. It was supposed to be a pair, but I was exhausted.

I love this ring - very vintage looking.
My meal, innit?

I need a proper camera, yes I do.

March 14, 2013

Getting involved in your friend's relationship

Good morning this morning (as they say in NYSC).

I happened upon one of those 100 Questions Quizzes on my friend's blog, Taynement. I wanted to do something similar, and logged into one of my emails (I have 7 email addresses I use regularly) searching for an old quiz I'd done. I thought it'd be fun to compare my responses from 10-ish years ago, to what they'd be now. In my SENT folder, I perused the pages looking for the quiz email. I didn't find it, so I'll check another email account at a later date. However, I saw an email I sent to my very good friend's boyfriend back in the day. He's her ex now (Thank the Lord!) and I really felt that he was all wrong for her.

I basically told him that he needed to break up with her. I don't know if he ever showed her the email. I do know that he broke up with her, shortly after and she called me crying her life away. Here's an excerpt of the email below:

"You're probably wondering why I'm sending you this e-mail. It's cos of Adrianna*. As you know, I'm one of her best friends and as such, I have her best interests at heart. From the beginning of you guys' relationship, I've been there to support her whenever she was feeling down because of one thing or another. Now, I don't mean to insult or offend you in anyway, but I'm going to be direct and blunt with you. I really don't see why she is still trying to be with you. Especially not after the heartaches and headaches that she has gone through in these few months. If it were me, I would have given up on the relationship and you from the first slip-up. See, I don't take any nonsense from anybody. And I expect to be treated with the utmost respect in my relationships. If I won't do something to you (lie, cheat, steal) don't do it to me. UNFORTUNATELY, Adrianna is a little TOO kind, and TOO loving, so she's always looking to forgive you. And I'm not sure if it's that you actually, genuinely care for her that prompts you to tell her not to leave you and that you're sorry and will change, or if you're walking all over her because of her naivete (yes, I think she's naive).

I mean, forget all the crying she has done. Forget the lies, forget the other women. Just use your common sense and ask yourself if this relationship will actually work out in the long run. I don't think so. From what Adrianna has said, you want to go back to England after school to work. I know that it's not her desire to do that, to move to another country for the rest of her life. So why bother with the relationship now? You know how much she has cried and cried because of you. It's not fair what you're doing to her! If you love somebody, they shouldn't cry on account of you, but she has done so, over and over again. In a way though, I don't really blame you, because she herself is just sitting down there and taking it from you "Oh I love him and I want it work out." I am frustrated with the two of you. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to talk to my friend anymore; because she's complaining about you on one hand, and on the other saying she'll forgive you yet again for another screw up. Our other friends don't even want to speak to her anymore, because they're tired of giving advice that she'll agree with initially, and then turning around and going back to you. It makes us feel stupid. Even now,she says you guys are on a break (which I support, if you want to know) but then also says at the same time "Oh, we're practically engaged. He's buying my ring this month."

In fact, let's talk about this "engagement." What is with your rush to get married? You only just started with your master's program. You're still in school. You don't have a job. You don't have a house. What, pray tell, are you going to support her on? You want to take her back to Birmingham to live in your parents' house? I'm not being snide or sarcastic here, I'm just being real cos it doesn't look like either of you are. I think Adrianna's a little too desperate in the love department, and I don't know whatt you're after. Please, tell me what you want. Is it that you're actually serious about claiming to love her or is it something else? I want you to be completely honest with yourself and tell me realistically whether you guys are a good couple. Whether she is happy with you. Whether you like the kind of woman she is, and why exactly you like the way she is. Like I said before, I haven't meant to offend or insult you in anyway, so don't take anything too personal. It's just me being direct, and real with you. "

*names have been changed*

My my my! I was a "Voltronic" pistol back then, wasn't I? I don't know that I would do the same thing now... getting directly involved in a friend's relationship. It could totally have backfired on me. He could have shown her the email and made me look bad. Or she could have taken offense to my not-so-kind tough-love description of her character. If it was 2013, I would probably just try to talk to my friend and encourage her to do what's best for her life. I'd make my reservations known to HER and let it go after the first time.

What would you do if your friend was in a terrible relationship, and he/she didn't seem to want to let go?

March 12, 2013

How-To Take a Great Selfie


It's a pretty day :) Okay, not really. I had a rude surprise at work today - but I'm over it. Why? Because Jesus loves me, YES HE DOES! Aaaaaaand, I feel pretty today. Do you ever have those days or periods where you just don't feel attractive at all? Where you just want to hide under a rock? I've felt like that for a little while now - not sure why. I actually had serious self-esteem issues a few years ago, so I guess it rears its ugly head every now and then...

Anyways, today I'd like to talk about SELFIES! What's a 'Selfie,' you ask? Well, a selfie is a photograph that you take of YOURSELF! You can use a camera, a phone, a tab, whatever. The point is YOU TAKING A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOURSELF. Okay, a lot of people (aka my FAMILY) might see it as vanity, BUT I don't agree. I simply like taking pictures of people. And the only person who's with me 24 hours of the day, is ME! So why can't I express my photography love and take pictures (of ME)? *runs to hide from the nagging voice in the back of my head that says I might be slightly narcissistic*

Enh heh! Back to the instructions...

Alrighty, have a pretty Tuesday!

Berry Dakara.

March 11, 2013

What I did this weekend - Cross Earrings...

Hello berryboos!

How'd your weekend go? Mine started off down, then ended up on a high note. Remember how I had the blahs on Friday? Well, it went well into Saturday and I refused to leave my house. Okay, it didn't help that my car died on Friday night - or so I thought. This lady came to do my hair, and when I wanted to drop her off, my car just stalled and refused to start. Since I was in a bad mood anyways, I just chucked the keys somewhere and said I'd deal with it later... Later came on Sunday, when my cakey friend came by and the silly car started in 5 seconds. *rolls eyes* How was I supposed to know the battery head was loose? When it comes to cars, all I need is for them to take me from Point A to Points 3, C, 8 and X, while cooling me down and playing music. I'm terrible with cars! I drive a Honda Accord and for the longest time, I thought it was a Civic :p

Anyways, here's the pair of earrings I made...

My beading tools. Decided to make cross earrings

 Finished product!

I love these earrings. Unfortunately, they got lost 5 minutes after I wore them because they were VERY light and I didn't have stoppers. I'll remake another pair this week.

And here's my hurr - which wasn't without drama.

I really like this hair. It's a little different from what I've done in the past year or so. And a lot of people are looking at me like I'm a completely different person, LOL. It's still lil' ol' me, your South-South Southern belle :)

Gotta rush off for a meeting!

KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES! I'm well now so I can kiss as much as I want :-*

March 9, 2013

What would you attempt to do...

I was watching the latest episode of Girls this morning - don't ask me how - and one of the characters, Marnie (played by the gorgeousness that is Allison Williams) was asked what she'd absolutely love to do if she knew she couldn't fail. Her answer was - SING! Her voice is sooooo pretty (see a video below).

But I've often asked myself the same thing. You'd think acting would be my answer, but not quite. I feel like I'd go into womenswear design and/or event planning. I used to plan events back in the day but moved away from it after a while. Maybe I'd also sing. OH AND.... I'd totally be a travel tv show host - visiting hotels all over the world and seeing all the sights!

What would you do?

March 8, 2013


OH MY GAW!!!!!!!


Like I'm literally here in the office in tears! Just complete awesomeness, that's made me feel a little better after this morning's blahs.

I want an elaborate proposal toooooo! Add that to my list of What I Want Now. *runs to hide*


Hello berryful people,

It's Friday and it's sunny out here in Lagos. I wish my mood matched the sunshine. I'm feeling a little bit disillusioned and bored with my life. I feel like nothing is happening! Like I'm just sitting here and going from one day to the next... floating like a dandelion (Dandelions are pretty and it's been a looooooong time since I've seen one and that makes me sad right now). Do you ever feel like that? And it's silly because I've reached one of my major goals (speaking of which, I need to do a Goals Update post) and my blogging's moving forward (African Naturalistas, remember?), and there are a couple of other things I'm working on. I even have a busy weekend ahead of me - getting ma hurr done today (FOINALLY), want to go watch a Polo match tomorrow (I WANT TO WEAR A PRETTY DRESS AND HAT), and my dahling ChiDynma's performing at Bovi's comedy show on Sunday (WHICH I'M GOING TO)... so


  1.  I think I miss my family. I want to go home to Atlanta (I have 3 homes: Atlanta, Boston, Port Harcourt) and play with my adorable nephew. 
  2. I want to wake up in the morning and take an actual hot SHOWER, instead of fetching water in a stupid bucket - cold water from one bathroom, hot water from another bathroom (and the water smells and is brown in FREAKING Lekki!).
  3. I want to go shopping in a nice mall without worrying about the added Pay-For-My-Flight-Ticket-and-Customs-Money add-ons that Nigerian merchants tack on.
  4. I want internet that won't go off because PHCN took light.
  5. I want to live without worrying about power issues!
  6. I want Port Harcourt to become a city that makes sense!!! I'm totally going to disown PH if they don't take time - so blawdy frustrating.
  7. I want to be a US size 6/8 but keep my boobs the same size as they are now :D.
  8. I want a job that adds to my joy... and BANK ACCOUNT!
  9. I want to go to a beach resort somewhere and relax
  10. I want new shoes, new purses, and a knuckle ring that bends!
  11. I want to volunteer somewhere, anywhere! Wait o, I have a bag of rice waiting for me to donate.
  12. I want THIS GUY!
    33 yr-old Swedish Prince Carl Philip
  13. I want a beach-garden-cruise wedding (okay, not right this second)
  14. I want my hair to be loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong!
  15. I want a chauffeur if I have to stay in this blasted country
  16. I want a new car. A pretty one. A girly SUV. Like a purple or pink Nissan Murano with lashes. 
  17. I want to join Rotary and make a difference in the world. Do they have Saturday meetings on the island?
  18. I want a pretty, SERVICED apartment :( without having to haggle for one and pay a gazillion naira for it.
Maybe I should just go get my Massage + Mani + Pedi package that Cakes got for me, so I can relax. But do you know what bugs me? You go to a spa, get a massage and then come out to Nigerian stress as soon as you enter your car. 

BAH HUMBUG! I'm going to get a cuppa coffee.
Have a prettier day than I'm having. 

March 6, 2013

Househunting in Lagos? 11 lessons shared...

*saw this posted on YNaija and thought to share - especially as I need to move out later in the year*

My Lagos househunt – 11 lessons I’ve learnt

1.  Not to count my chickens before they are hatched. I learnt this the hard way when I was getting to an agent’s office two weeks ago to pay for a two bedroom apartment, only to find someone else had beaten me to it. I was this close to calling all my friends over for the washing and was already trying to figure out how much Star to get (not Heineken, not in my house). And then, in a split second, I was houseless again.
2. Looking for a house in Lagos is a full time job. I found out one needs to treat it as such, or find someone else to do so. If you cannot drop everything and leave your baby whom you are still breastfeeding, your business that comes to a standstill without you present or your scary boss the moment the agent calls you to say he’s heard of a vacancy, do not bother to look for a place at all. Demand is high and the best places are off the market in he blink of an eye. See lesson number 1.

3. To treat the title of ‘real estate agent’ lightly. Everyone can be an agent. The moment somebody hears of a 3 bedroom around the corner, he has become an agent. There is no license involved nor are there any professional ethics required. Al it takes is having the contacts to said landlord and then guarding it with your life. Never give your client phone numbers or the exact address of a place that is for rent. He might dupe you and go directly to the source. This is a market of middle men in a networking society: a man’s contacts are his capital.

4. To decipher agent’s lingo. ‘Some work needed’ means the place has been destroyed by the last lodger and looks like a war zone. ‘Cosy’ means claustrophobically small. ‘Under construction, ready in a fortnight (always a fortnight)’ signifies that the foundation has just been put in place and it would take an army of Chinese workmen to finish it in that time frame. Prepare to wait at least a month before you can move in. ‘To be finished to your own taste’: the land lord has left you with a cement floor without tiling, a kitchen without cabinets and a bathroom without sink. ‘Airy’ – ruin without roof. ‘Serene’ means expensive. Very expensive, as in Lekki or Banana Island. The kind of overrated locations agents want to ship oyinbos like myself to.

5. To forget about knowledge. In the case of househunting in Lagos, time is power. Quick decisions are rarely the right ones. When you are not in a hurry and can afford to delay your decision, you get better results.

6. Not to let any agent bully me into buying. They always emphasised there was another client interested in the place. In fact, many time they declared another client was ready to pay for it within the hour. I got used to hearing ‘This apartment is in very high demand, you have to move pa, pa, pa (quick, quick, quick)’ Sometimes it was true (see lesson number 1). Other times it was a selling strategy.

7. I read the Lagos State Tenancy Law. I should not have bothered. It is simply not working.
Me: ‘But it is illegal to ask for two year’s rent!’
Agent: ‘Is this Fashola’s house?’

In fact, I’ve come to mistrust landlords who ask for only a year’s rent. There is usually something very, very wrong with their property. The kind of thing you will only discover after you’ve paid, spent your first night there and woke up to realise you cannot stay there for a single second longer. Do not go there.

8. Me and my car Wima got used to a lot of company on our househunt. At one point I had my agent, the agent’s contact, the contact’s contact and the man with the key to the apartment in my vehicle. All four of them were giving me contradictory directions in the typical Lagosian manner (‘That way’ – waving vaguely with index finger to nowhere in particular). I tried to be Buddhist about it. It did not always work. Sorry again Mr Tony that I yelled at you when you almost misguided me into that one way street from the wrong end.

9. To get accustomed to waiting. For my agent, my agent’s contact, his contact, the man with the key, the guard to let us in and the landlord. I learnt to spend it wisely. Walked around the block, talked to the residents. Asked about flooding and the light situation. Checked for security and night clubs. Night clubs within walking distance: good. Night clubs within hearing distance: bad. And of course I inquired after the best place for moinmoin and Star beer at pump prices. After this research I sometimes did not even have to see the apartment for rent anymore.

10. To hoard up on phone credit. I made endless phone calls to get my agent, my agent’s contact, his contact, the man with the key, the guard to let us in and the landlord at the same place at the same time before sundown. Also provided occasional credit for my agent, my agent’s contact, his contact, the man with the key and the guard who let us in. I stopped adding up how much I had spent on phone calls half way through the house hunt. Too depressing.

11. Not to count my chickens before they are hatched. So I will not tell you now about that cute and very affordable upstairs apartment in Surulere with lots of windows, views all round and a guest room for when my mum comes to visit. I know better than that. I will let you know when I have the door keys in my hand and my stuff is in the little doll house. I have learnt my lessons.

March 4, 2013

Moi at Social Media Week, Lagos - the Pro Photos

Ok, so my friend and fellow aspiring actor, Demi Olubanwo is a fast-rising wedding photographer in Lagos. I met him at church, when he auditioned to join our dance/drama ministry and he said he read my Aje-Butter NYSC blog. It  was a funny meeting...

Demi: Hello everyone. I'm an aspiring actor, my name's Demi. I'm about to start NYSC soon.
Me: *loudly whispers* Awww, you should read my blog.
Demi: What blog is that?
Me: The Aje-Butter's Guide to NYSC
Demi: *gasp* You're Aje-Butter?!?!
Me: *double gasp* You read my blog?!?!?!?
Demi: YES! Wow, you give so much information.
Me: OMG Yaaaaaaay
Drama Director: *ahem* Excuse me, we're trying to audition here. Be friends AFTER we're done.
Me: Eeek! Sawry. *whispers* Demi, make sure you talk to me after auditions.

And that was the beginning of our beautiful friendship. He went on to play Joseph (father of Jesus) and I played Herodias (wife of Herod) in our church's Christmas musical - The Inimitable. I'm still trying to figure out how I can put my scene online, without infringing on any copyrights.

Anyways, the whole point of this post is to show the pictures Demi took of me at the Conversations for Change event during Social Media Week.

Yeah, my earrings are half as big as my head. And yes, I must POUT!!! *kissy kissy*

Well, I had twisted my hair and the twist-out wasn't what I expected, so temporary locs were the order of the week.

You can check out Demi's blog and fantastic photographs at Photos By Demi. BTW, he also shoots for Chef Fregz here and there.

Ok, I'm outtie. I don't want you to catch my horrendous cold.

*no hugs or kisses today*

March 2, 2013

What I'm listening to now...

Ok, these songs are old (say 2-3 months) but the beats are HAWT and I've got them on repeat this week, so let's have a dance party :)

  1. Sarz featuring Wizkid - Beat of Life (Samba)\

  2. Chidinma featuring Wizkid - Emi Ni Baller

  3. Phyno featuring Olamide - Ghost Mode

March 1, 2013

Berry Dakara and African Naturalistas

Hi guys!

So I decided to take the African Naturalistas up on their offer. Yes, I'm now part of the African Naturalistas team and will be posting about once a week! It's a little daunting and yet exciting, and I know I have so much to learn on the way, so Yay Me! BTW, this means I'm blogging for 4.5 different blogs right now! (This one, Ajebutter NYSC, Cake Factory, and African Naturalistas... and sometimes Review Naija)

I just published my very first post on there, titled "What I Know Now - Letter to my TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro)." I remember when I cut my hair for the first time (and the second and third times, because of some scissor-happy stylists), I felt sooooo awkward. In my head, and from what I saw in the mirror, I looked like a secondary school boy, albeit with boobs :p. Anyways, thought it'd be fun to share some pics from back then.