I cannot believe the last time I posted in the Berry Bible Study series was all the way back in January. I was supposed to be shooting for at least twice a month. Well, if I'm being honest, there is a reason why I stopped. The end of January into the first week of February was a very very trying period. I'm talking slipping into depression, not reading the Bible at all, barely being able to pray. It was very very very bad. I'm still suffering for it, actually.
But I know that God is calling out to me and waiting with open arms. He wants me to cast all my cares, worries, and fears on Him. And trust me, I have plenty of those at the moment. Instead of hiding and running, I'm just going to go on and do what I know is right.
Before leaving, I was worried about a lot of things. I would say my mind was clogged with worry and fear. Fear of the uncertainty like I mentioned in previous blog posts. Moving without the prospect of a job is one that has had a grip on me. So much so that I've even been afraid to look at my resume, or to browse and see what jobs are out there.
My first week back in Atlanta, I went to our Connect Group, and coincidentally, one of the verses mentioned was the one above from 2 Timothy 1:7. What struck me about it was not just that fear is not from God, but that the verse tied in Power, Love and my Word for the Year - DISCIPLINE. It was almost as if God was saying to me, "Berry you have forgotten. You've let your self-discipline go, and instead replaced it with fear." Like, I would not ordinarily put fear and discipline in the same sentence, but think about it... a way to overcome fear is through discipline, isn't it? Something as mundane as my fear of push-ups and skipping/jump rope were alleviated through regular (almost daily) attempts to conquer those tasks. The same way I have a fear over job-searching, I can apply self-discipline and make sure I review my resume and apply to different companies daily, until I get the one God has set aside for me. The way I've been afraid to go to God in complete submission... I can resume my daily Bible reading and praying, even if it's for 3 minutes a day.
Usually, most people would attach the Fear part to the Power part of the verse, and while that is still true, I think that Self-Discipline definitely has a lot to do with it.
What do you think?