June 9, 2014

Unpolished Berry

Hello!

First of all, I must apologize to my family and friends that said I shouldn't have replied to the comment in the picture I'm going to post below, because my reply has obviously been extended to this post. Sawry, but since you know me so well, this post shouldn't surprise you. LOVE YOU!

To everyone else, over the weekend, Bella Naija posted pictures from the event Dabs held at her salon, celebrating the second edition of her Savvy & Chic magazine. I already mentioned here that I attended the event. I appeared in 2 pictures on the BN post, and as usual, went to the comments section and BAM! A comment about me...



As you can see, I replied and some of my girls said I shouldn't have. But, you know what? I wouldn't be me if I didn't reply. Actually, I had something else in mind as far as a response, along the lines of 'unpolished on the outside is ALWAYS better than being unpolished on the inside, as you clearly are,' but chose to keep it to myself (Ooops, did I just write it here? Oh well).

Dear Corolla and your counterparts who feel the need to put people down and write mean and negative things about others, can you answer me these questions? What do you gain by writing negatively about people? Did you forget that there's a human being on the other side of the screen who might read your words and could potentially feel hurt? How come you haven't reached a place of maturity to discern what and what not to say/write? Oh wait, are you teenagers?!?!? Is that why you have no censor in your conscious thought process? (Actually, calling you a teenager is probably too good for you and offensive to said teenagers)

It's one thing to think negatively about someone.
It's another thing to speak your negative thought.
And it's YET another thing to write it down.

Just FYI, as you write those words down, please note that, on the inside you are most probably ten to a million times worse than what you're writing. I say this because, what you say (talk less of what you write) is a reflection of your heart. And THAT, is so very pitiful for you.

Two fingers.

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51 comments:

  1. I know how hurt u felt and I can't imagine why anyone would write such. Guess u only give what u have. Then again, social media has empowered cowards who could never face u physically. Just chuck it out. Mean somborrri! Dr. N

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    1. Funny thing is, I was less hurt and more shocked, like "Ah ah, how far?!" And yeah, people hide behind their phone and computer screens to be negative and I feel sorry for them because they must be miserable people.

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    2. yeah i read this and was like "berry hurt? i don't think so" lol

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  2. people try to make there sad life better by sayin mean things ...if only they know how amazing u are...i saw you on Sunday we didnt talk buh u were so pleasant wld email u ure picture i took of u ...

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    1. Awww, you should have beckoned me. Thanks though - lol, what was I doing the picture?

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    2. http://leccesroyale.blogspot.com/2014/06/june-salon-day-out.html ..................oya check out ure picture here haaa..ure very graceful....im an "AC" sorry "FAN"

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    3. @alice see here and rate fluxbridge!! http://www.reviewnaija.com/2014/04/fluxbridge-services.html

      Delete
  3. Oh Berry! We met for the first time yesterday at the NHCG event. You gave up your seat for my daughter and I. That was soooo sweeeet of you. I thought to myself, Berry is a total sweetheart and I would love to be her friend...I looked out for you later at the event, but couldn't find you.

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    1. It was nice meeting you, and I would have felt bad if I didn't offer you the seat, so no worries! :)

      I was probably somewhere getting my hair done or flying around looking for pictures to take.

      Delete
  4. Continuing previous comment: Please don't give a stranger the power to hurt you. You know you are beautiful, happily married, got a great job and a successful blog...why give some scavenging troll the power to hurt you?

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    1. YEs i agree. don't let someone you don't know put you down.
      Keep giving us your Berrylicious Post and listen to Happy by Pharell.

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    2. Thanks again. I wrote this post more out of annoyance and irritation, than hurt. I'm not even going to pretend that I never have not-so-nice things to say, but I keep them to myself and life goes on. It's such an easy decision to make - should I speak my mind and hurt someone, or should I keep it to myself and nobody's affected?

      @ Ugo - Lol!!! Happy cures everything, right?

      Delete
  5. Cyber bullying is becoming a huge problem in Nigeria (I can almost bet that this is not the only mean comment Corolla has put up).. Unfortunately people hide behind their devices and troll blogs to see people who are doing well and think *Hmmm, how come they are so happy/successful/living their lives? I have to do something about it*.. It's really sad and like you said sometimes people are quick to forget that the people they bring down with hurtful comments are real people not fictional characters for their entertainment!!

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    1. Girl it's everywhere! Facebook, blogs, Instagram and co. Ah, I even got negative comments on one of my wedding pictures on IG! People need to calm down and think about their actions and words.

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  6. I'm in the "you shouldn't have replied" camp. I see a lot of negative comments about myself and yeah sometimes I'm like "wheeeww, what did I ever do to you", but most of the time I'm just like "you're obv some nonentity who gets kicks out of insulting people you don't know, there's obviously something wrong with you.".

    Don't sweat it, you have placed yourself in the public eye via your blog and whether you like it or not people will continue to make unflattering comments, you owe it to yourself to not give them the satisfaction of replying, trust me...not worth it. As time goes on you won't even notice them anymore. I mean,a few years ago I used to google my name obsessively reading what people who clearly don't know me have to say, but over time I've got used to it and learned to take the good with the bad.

    Esp when the good outweighs the bad, why are you sweating the small stuff? Your blog is funny and popular, you are a great person, really friendly, you are beautiful and loved, you have a loving, supportive partner...nne, I could go on.

    Think of all these things, then think of the anonymous, bitter, keyboard warrior spewing bile via a computer screen...and you'll realize that he/she is so not worth it.

    xx

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    1. I get what you mean, and obviously not everyone will like me. Hey I've been getting hated on from people who don't know me since I was 13. It's just that every now and then, I feel the urge to be vocal about it.

      Lol @ you googling your name and seeing comments. I don't think I have that kinda liver. I might just have to adopt the Kardashians' rule and post without going back to see comments. But like you said, the good FAR outweighs the bad.

      Thanks so much for your kind words!!! *hugs*

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    2. Well said Adaku...I missed you at the event :( @ Berry as annoying and unnecessary as that comment was, it's better to fall back and allow your devoted followers to deal with the commenter for you...sign the woes of social media, thanks for your support on Sunday....x

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  7. What??? Who dares to make such comment about my BFFBF? I should use my super powers to hunt that bitter soul down. Arghhhhh
    I love you Hunay no marrer what anyone thinks or says. Hugs

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  8. We love you dear Berry
    And I'm glad that good people like you are popular

    Leave them Corollas with their little minds- smh- they're not even popular (- who's she by the way?)

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  9. My dear , its the people who stay positive that get the most insults. I like your reply jare. It's not like you insulted her back or anything. I remember being shocked at the first negative comments we received on our blog...till hubs reminded me that I shouldn't care since we're anon anyway!

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    1. Ah ah, what could anybody have said about you guys?!?!

      Nobody is safe! Diaris...... :p

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  10. I never used to comment on blogs because I'm nt a commenting person and I never wanted to be part of the negativity in the comment sections of blogs like linda ikeji's. This is the first blog I commented on and I did because I love the tone nd feel of it. I think if your replying made ur pulse normal again den ur totally right, nice choice of words I would totally do that myself. Your beautiful spirit shows in you posts nd thatz y I read them I love you just the way you are.

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    1. Thanks Aye. I really like your comments too, for what it's worth

      :)

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  11. SMH..You hit a few good points there. These rude commenters often forget that there is someone on the other side of the screen with feelings, a real life and a heart.

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    1. I'm not sure they forget. They just don't care. Sad.

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  12. I would have ignored it myself, but that's just me. Your reply wasn't bad either. That was a very valid question.

    Since you're now a celeb lol Beyoncé said it best "don't read the comments". People are so rude on social media and in the comments sections. It's quite sad, but don't let it bother you.

    I love your blog, I haven't met you properly but I think you're quite lovely and would be great to be around. You're gaining popularity, and people now know Berry. That's a plus!!

    Just, ignore. :)

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    1. Celeb in which world :p

      It's okay sha. It's going to be a whiiiiiiiile before (if not the last time) I will address an issue like this again. Are you coming to NITC?

      Delete
  13. When I saw your response to Corolla, I just thought of Rihanna. She always keeps the smack downs coming, so people are wary of coming for her.
    I understand the people saying that you should not have responded because it legitimizes the comment in a way, but I am not a fan of turning the other cheek. I always aim to give as good as I get, so I can't even fault your reaction. I think your response is excellent because it is just the kind of sarcastic humor I appreciate. Keep doing you.

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    1. Lol, my dear. The truth is I still censor myself quite a bit because it can get downright nasty, but I chose to let go of anger a loooooooong time ago and nobody will take me back to who I used to be. Not even corolla's friend below.

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  14. but i dont understand, y cant u take criticism? whats wrong if sumone says u look unpolished (i do agree tho but maybe that wasnt the right word to use) but hey u aint perfect dearie so just suck it up. U do look a little ''rough around the edges'' if i do say so myself. big deal! ugh!

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    1. Your ugly spirit shows in your comment. Very uncouth. How do you look your self? What is your definition of unpolished? nonsense. post your picture and let's see how "polished" you really are. @berry just ignore. you are well liked and living your life.

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    2. I can bet my last N1k that this is "Corolla" lol
      You go dey okay lol

      Delete
  15. Orisirisi!
    i don't even know what to say! I posted a comment in the previous post u did about the weight gain about you feeling good about yourself and the way snarky comments can make one feel,only for me to come here today and read an even worse post.
    Sigh!i don't get it. Why do people constantly feel the need to bring others down cos whether we like it or not unkind words hurt.And for delicate people this is what leads to suicide and drugs.Why don't people just wonder how the person they are talking to or commenting about will feel when the person is not a robot.The worst is the commenters aren't perfect in any way themselves.
    And see the comment above this one?What does "rough around the edges" even mean?u look like millions of Nigerian women do.As you should.
    i am just annoyed and puzzled.imagine the nerve of saying someone is unpolished?what does that even mean?Must people comment for goodness sake!

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    1. You are so right about the suicides and drugs. As much as we all claim to form odeshi when we encounter negative comments they hurt. The words might nt even be that bad but could meet the person at a very bad place. Depression is real nd it kills.

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  16. Some people are just bitter and angry.Berry please just ignore and keep being you! We love you xx

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  17. '' But, you know what? I wouldn't be me if I didn't reply.'' love that! If it makes one feel better to respond to such hate. why not? Your ability to discuss it openly shows maturity, you've been able to look past it. Meanwhile on the contrary, I do think you are VERY polished. You always have happiness radiating all over you and in a way you somehow pass that unto me. I just read of someone hacking one of Kris Jenner's social media accounts, saying that she hates Kanye and French, Khloe's new boyfriend. How can?! There's just so much hate in this world.

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  18. I don't understand how people can just directly pass hateful remarks about someone else. I just can't wrap my hear around it. As in just will just say it like that, gbam! without consideration. Ahn ahn.

    Berry, maybe you should stand wearing tail-length Brazilian, with six-inch Christian louboutin, and prada bags. Nails all made up and all. Then you will look polished. The question then will be, are you gonna be defined by these things?

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    1. I don't even have a problem with all those things - just that I spend my money on other things that matter to me, and I can't go into debt because I want to be trendy. And you're right - nobody is or should be defined by their clothes, shoes, bags, hair, glasses, cars, houses, etc.

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    2. I like berry ,berry berry much,you're jus being you .let them say!

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  19. Berry, u know wat dat comment has done for you? It has made you sit up and pay more attention to your appearance. Sort your face out and quit the outdated clothes. I actually went to BN to see what d foss was all abt and I actually think d commenter was spot on. Yes its hurtful but its the truth. I will appreciate it if I was walking down d road and my skirt was stuffed up my ass and a complete stranger said, 'hey u silly thing, unstuff ur skirt, rubbish'. Yeh, I'll be vexed but I'll look beyond it and even be thankful I was saved d embarrassment. What I'm trying to say is a stranger pointed out ur flaws which ur so called supporters and BFFs know but won't tell cos they just wanna laugh at u behind ur backk. I beliv u look unkempt and outdated with your choice of clothes, shoes and grooming. U can do beta seeing as u r in d public eyes. Take it or leave it.

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    1. Berry, you know how you can look at that comment positively? It just means you should sit up and pay more attention to your appearance. I think you should get better clothes and learn how to wear makeup properly (I like this tutorial on Youtube). I went to BN to see what the fuss was all about and I kinda agree with the commenter. She was hurtful, yes, but it's the hard truth. I would appreciate it if I was walking down the street and my skirt was *insert negative adjective* and a complete stranger said, "Excuse me, your skirt is too ______." Yeah, I'll be annoyed but I'll look beyond it and be thankful that I've been saved from future embarrassment. What I'm trying to say is that a stranger pointed our your flaws, which your followers might agree with but can't say. I believe you can improve your looks with better clothes, shoes and well put-on makeup. You can do better seeing as you're a little in the public eye. Take it or leave it.


      Read your comment, and read mine. Exact same message, but kind. I appreciate your message, I wish you were a little more tactful. But thanks all the same. Duly noted.

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    2. Some comments are just getting me pissd! This just reminds me of the reason y I hate publicity. I worked at a radio station in benin and everytime some listener was to come to the studio for anything I ran.... Coz I still wanted to jump bus, buy boli and go about makeupless if I so wanted. It was even befor I went natural nd I was jst tired of my hair I was always tying a scarf with no makeup but that was what I wanted. NOBODY should be told how to look or dress. Society puts so much pressure on people about looks et al nd when they can't handle it nd resort to drugs nd such they still bring out the orchestra to serenade them to their everlasting ruin. If you don't have anything constructive to say then don't say nothing. I rest my case.

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    3. No Berry I think you are giving Anonymous June 11 above too much attention.In my opinion both hers and your redesign of her comment is still the same thing.Its the content that hurts cos she is still saying you were outdated clothes which you don't do.You don't even wear much makeup so I wonder how the you don't know how to put on make up came about.
      @madam anonymous!your choice of words Suck.how can u tell another person to sort her face out?what exactly is wrong with her face?What flaws are you talking about?
      Don't you get that this is a matter of opinion?U think so doesn't mean it's the truth.

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    4. I agree with Deeder’s comment. But like you said you wouldn't be you if you didn't respond. Since you had to respond, I think you should have used the opportunity to school Corolla, who obviously is ignorant when it comes to how people should look, style and preference. Apparently Corolla thinks looking polish (glossy shiny hair, sparkly outfit & accessories, contoured made up face with a pointed nose tip, tilted head pose, glossy skin aka bleached, and of course trendy expensive everything) is how every woman should appear in public. I had to imagine what would constitute someone being polished, which is obviously an inappropriate way to describe someone. Imagine Corolla, I mean one of the commenters trying to tell you that the comment ‘made you sit up and pay more attention to your appearance.’ I pity people who can’t claim their own sense of self and style, but rather dress for public eye.

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  20. I love Berry sooo mch. She s too real.pls my dear pple its nt so mch wat we say that matters but how we say it. We shldd b able to gv advise without belittling the person. I can bet that The so called "polished" bloggers and commentrs dnt have one tenth of Berry's exposure and education. She has decided to live her life simple and ntt be slave to any fashion or person and nw world pipo won't let her be. Mscheeeew. Mrs. O

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  21. Although I agree with the overall message of this article...you did just do to her, somewhat she did to you. Do you see why I said to ignore her in the first place?!

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    1. Well, let's say the overall message is the message of the post, and it's unfortunate that someone triggered it?

      :D

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  22. Berry like I've always said....you are one Amazing person ...like my father will say" stay true to yourself regardless of what any one thinks" you are an inspiration and an Icon...God bless you my darling .xxx

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  23. So a photocopy (obviously), asking a distinct original to look more like a cheap & common photocopy to be "accepted"? Me thinks being the 'unpolished original' was what got their attention in the first place. Wonder if they'll have noticed if you were like every other Tina, Darcy & Harriet!

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Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)