October 17, 2013

Confession...

Yo yo!

Can I just say that I needed this 2-day holiday that just passed?! It was soooooo necessary for life! I have to say though, that seeing ram heads all over the place kinda freaked me out. I was driving in my neighborhood and at one house, they had just cut off the ram's head and you could see the blood and everything. BLECH! I'v never celebrated Sallah. I've never had muslim friends, so I don't get the whole "Sallah meat" frenzy. I'm not saying it to be snarky or snooty. I'd say the same thing about Chinese New Year or Hanukkah. I actually asked my friend if Sallah celebration is like Christmas. Anyway, I know you're wondering what my confession is, so let me stop rambling.

The following conversation occurred at church one day...

Usher: Hey Berry.
Me: Oh hey, how are you?
Usher: You know people say you're a snob, right?
Me: ENH? *confused and totally surprised*
Usher: Yeah, I've heard on more than one occasion that you're a snob and you don't talk to people.
Me: *frantically scanning my memory to find out if I'd been rude to anyone or blanked someone*
Usher: I just thought you should know
Me: Well, okay. #1. You don't just say stuff like that out of the blue. #2. Who are these people? #3. If you must know, and you can feel free to share the information with said people, I'm innately a VERY SHY person. If you came to my secondary school to look for me, the way I was described was "the dark, skinny, quiet girl." So please, the next time someone feels the need to tell you that I'm a snob, tell them that I'm shy, quiet and reserved when I don't know someone well enough.

I won't even lie, his comment made me feel very hurt. I felt like people were judging me without knowing who I am. I complained to Cakes, and he said one or two people had said the same thing to him. That they've tried to reach out and be my friend, but that I have a wall up and don't let people in (true to some extent).

Here's the thing. I'm generally friendly. I will smile and laugh with almost anyone. At the same time, I can be very very shy. It takes a lot of effort for me to go and start a conversation with a stranger. Chances are that I would think about it in my head for 30+ minutes before saying hello. In addition, I feel like at my age, most females already have their established friendships and it's harder to break into a circle of friends. It's one thing if you already have something in common and have been acquaintances for a while. It's another thing to automatically become friends with someone, if you haven't had a substantial conversation to find out if you have anything in common. (I want to break off and talk about female vs male friends but that's a loooooooong topic, so I'll address it another time)

In summary, yes, I confess to having a wall up. BUT it doesn't take too much to push through the wall. You don't even need to push, actually. You can huff, puff, and blow the wall down with a simple 5-minute conversation. I, obviously though, have to do more to NOT have a seemingly snobby attitude.

Conclusion: If you're in the same church as I am, and you feel that I snubbed you at any point in time, SAWRRRYYYYYYYYYY O! I didn't mean to. Chances are that I was hungry and you didn't have a snack to feed me :p

Source


Follow on Bloglovin

17 comments:

  1. I accept your apology.Lol
    I've always been told that am a snub and it's so Painful.esp wen ur doing everything to be friendly....
    Admitting that am a snub was d first step after that i was conscious and tried to change...
    But you are quite friendly sha.
    Just don't stop being friends with me and you won't be told ur a snub again...*winks*

    ReplyDelete
  2. You do not have to apologize for who you are you know
    If they think you're a snub, the question is 'did they even try to make an effort?'
    Chances are they were expecting you to suck up to them, and when you don't, "oh well, she is a snub"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah,and you come out as so lively and out there frm ur writings or I guess dats d way u r with friends dat u r good with.
    Av heard d snub tin a lot of times b4 too,pls don't feel bad.their reasons were that I never said hi or greeted peeps on d street or even stopped 2ask a simple how r u.I realised it was true but all dat wasn't cuz I was a snop,I was mostly shy(like u) and didn't knw much abt relating wt pple except close friends and family.strangers had 2initiate convos and tk steps 2b my friends cuz I won't.u had 2push small to know me,me nor go take dat step at all.
    All dat has changed now sha,basically cuz of a leadership position I was given in fellowship so I hd 2relate by fire by force.so now,am stil learning bt am beta than b4.I initiate convos and ask abt d oda persons wellbeing instead of waiting for dem to do dat,I do it myself.
    So sorry 4d long writings,all am saying is,if u make an effort to reach out and not wait 4d oda person to "push wit 5minute convo" to break ur walls,u'll be good.instead of waiting for dem,take d lead.
    It will help wt ur shyness and improve ur relations wt people cuz God knows we all need good friends in our lives.we need each oda to survive(accordn 2kirk franklin)

    http://imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I got the same thing too... that I don't say hi or greet people, just walk past. The truth is it takes me a while to remember people's faces, and too many times if I'm focused on where I'm going, I don't see anybody at all - I could even walk past my parents :p

      You're right though, about taking the lead and initiative in doing more to say hello to people. I'll try

      Delete
  4. Hello!!! So Berry, I have been following your blog and instagram page now for some weeks(after saw your engagement shots on Bellanaija) and I have to say that I never got the snob vibe from you whats so ever!! I think your fun, funny and all around sweet. if fact you've become a new friend in my head(wendy williams phrase) lol and while I have never met (maybe when come to naija and stop by TPH/TWB to see my friends, will come and say hi to you :D) I honestly get the vibe that your an awesome person. I Think you should just continue to be yourself. and now you have admited you may have a certain wall, you work on slowly breaking it down. Stay fab my dear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! You should definitely say hi if you see me :D

      Working on the walls...

      Delete
  5. Naija peeps o,lol. Berry,ppl naturally wanna b ur friend cos u are the girl from obodo Oyinloye,unfortunatelyu are shy in real life but on ur blog you sound like u are very friendly,hence they label u snob,lol. I must admit,I first assumed you were a snob when I just started reading your blog but I've changed my mind. Anyway,just be yourself,sooner or later people will know the real you. Besides who says you have to be friends with the whole world? Naija ppl sef,mschew. I apologize for the typos and long rant

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, it's not about Obodo o. Half the people in my church are from there too :p

      On one hand, I agree that we don't have to be friends with everyone in the world. But at the same time, we can be friendLY with everyone. An attitude of love to everybody...

      Delete
  6. wel ur story is not different frm mine. I have been called a snub alot. It used to bother me,not anymore. Funny tin is d@ some who actually thot i was a snub, got to love me wen dy finally got to knw me wel. Bottom line is d@ our sm ppl want u to do d hiing n helloing tin first(which by d way is not my style) and wen u dnt dy term u a snub. D berry i read her blog doesnt seem nor sound like a snub

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looks like a lot of us have been incorrectly called snobs. Thanks for your comment!

      Delete
  7. AWWWWWW!!!! Well I go to the same church as you (well I used to) and I can confidently say that you, Anita, are the last last person I would call a snob. I mean, when I was consumed by work and couldnt attend bible class for like 2-3 weeks, you were the ONLY one that called to check up on me and make sure I was doing ok. Granted, your body is too hot...lol but you always have a smile (for me sha!) and you make me feel like you are actually happy and pleased to see me every single time we see (een if its more than once a day). So No! You are definitely NOT a snob. Do you even have days when you're quiet and not talking????

    Yeah its Faith.... :*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAITH!!! Where are you? I miss you! Going to email you now! WAIT! "USED TO?" Geez, definitely emailing you NOW!

      And awwwww, thank you *blushing*

      Delete
  8. AWWWWWW!!!! Well I go to the same church as you (well I used to) and I can confidently say that you, Anita, are the last last person I would call a snob. I mean, when I was consumed by work and couldnt attend bible class for like 2-3 weeks, you were the ONLY one that called to check up on me and make sure I was doing ok. Granted, your body is too hot...lol but you always have a smile (for me sha!) and you make me feel like you are actually happy and pleased to see me every single time we see (een if its more than once a day). So No! You are definitely NOT a snob. Do you even have days when you're quiet and not talking????

    Yeah its Faith.... :*

    ReplyDelete

Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)