It's OVER! DO NOT CALL!

Earlier this week, I found out I have virtually no space left on my phone (which apparently has 8GB worth of memory space), so I started deleting. Pictures, videos, voice notes, phone numbers... and while going through the contacts on my phone, I saw names like

"DO NOT ANSWER"
"NEVER EVER CALL"
"JUST DON'T, HE LIED"

LOL. These contacts at some point or another, were names of actual people (mostly guys), but then our friendship or relationship turned sour and instead of deleting the phone numbers completely, their names were changed to stop me from calling or ever answering their calls. 99% of the time, seeing the contacts in this light definitely stopped me from prolonging unnecessary friendships.

Why didn't I just delete the phone numbers, you ask? Well, I used to do this thing where if I was "talking to" anyone, I'd memorize their number and it'd be easy to speak to them. That was until 2007 when I discovered that I couldn't UN-memorize someone's number and found myself calling them when I never should have. It was so bad that after a year of not speaking to said person, I still knew the number by heart. So because of that, I stopped memorizing numbers. This made it hard for me to recognize a number if I'd deleted it. Therefore, the next best option was to change their names to the aforementioned to dissuade me from continuing conversation :D

Luckily for me, after a while, I couldn't even remember who I stored as each of the names, so it was very easy to just ignore calls and stop myself from calling, because I didn't know who was who.

BRILLIANT IDEA, right? :D

How do you deal when a friendship/relationship goes bust?

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Berry's Shouts Out

Hey friends,

If you've noticed my blog layout, I don't have a Blog Roll. I've seen them on other blogs and actually found nice blogs via Blog Rolls, but didn't want to add one here. So I'm just going to give a massive shout out to some of the blogs I read faithfully and enjoy. I think I'll break them down into categories

HAIR

• African Naturalistas - I'm biased cos I contribute on Fridays :p
• The Kink and I - I like her layout. Some of the posts are too long and detailed for me though
• My Fro & I - She inspired me to do my 31 Hairstyles in 31 Days challenge
• Nappily Nigerian - Her name's Hadassah, which is soooo pretty! And her hair is looooooong!

STYLE

• Style Fash - One of the Power Puff Girls (Her, Bex and I)!
• For Style Sake - Sisters who are really stylish
• Third World Profashional - Everybody knows her, no introduction needed.
• Dressed - She owns a boutique on the mainland (come to the island please). She has nice dresses.
• Irony of Ashi - I like her style. She wears a lot of color.
• Style By Queens - Cute girls with lovely style. One of them got engaged recently

DIY

• Crafty Girl Living - She took a break for a while, but she's back and engaged and doing lots of wedding/pre-wedding crafts!
• PS I Made This - It's amazing what you can make in a short amount of time with a few things at hand!

MARRIAGE

• Naija Husband - This guy and Naija Wife are HILARIOUS!!!
• Start Marriage Right - Christian website with valuable info for relationships.

LIFESTYLE

• Peppermint and Paisley - Run by 2 lovely ladies, it's a mix of everything.
• Matilda's Child - She should really be under Style, but she writes a lot about her life. She just got engaged.
• Sisi Yemmie - Owned and run by well, Sisi Yemmie.

FITNESS/HEALTH

• Muffin Tops and Love Handles - My cousin's fitness Tumblr blog. 

FOOD

• BexCoox - New blog. I'm waiting for her to invite me BEFORE she starts a post
• Lohi's Creations - I wish she was my friend in real life and lived next door to me
• Vegan Nigerian - All her recipes are plant-based, no joke. Even Nigerian food!
• Cakesiena - Technically it's just posts of cakes that Cakes has made :)

WEDDINGS

• I Do Weddings - Event planner, wedding dress designer, etc. And she has an Olivia Pope thing about her. 
• Aisle Perfect - She's my cousin's friend and started her blog/website when she got engaged.
• Everything Weddings And More (aka EWAM) - I think she started also when she got engaged...

*secret* I actually wanted to start started a wedding blog after Cakes proposed. But no time, so there are only like 3 posts! Which is sad, cos I wanted to blog about the whole engagement process, and continue afterwards with marriage tales, recipes, date ideas, etc. :(

And now, I've come to the end of my Shouts Out. These aren't all the blogs I read faithfully, but I'll have another Shout Out post when I feel led to, and will include others.

Have a pretty rest of the week!

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This Weekend I...

Hey everyone!

How are ya? How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun? Did you eat anything good? Speaking of eating, I believe there's a Love Language that wasn't captured by Gary Chapman - FOOD! I really believe that Food is one of my dominant Love Languages. Not that I love food a lot (although I do), but I think love can be shown through food, and no, I don't necessarily need to have cooked it. Let me tell you why I think it's a Love Language... whenever I'm with Cakes, at some point I ask him if he's eaten, and if he hasn't and it's late, I lecture him on proper eating. Why? Because I care. My asking if he's eaten is one of the ways by which I show him I love him. Granted, he probably thinks I just feel like nagging him, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Anyways, here's a brief run through of what I did this weekend...

1. I took my mum and aunt out to watch "Saro, the Musical." If you've been following my blog for a while, then you know that I enjoy performance art. So when I heard about this show, I was psyched and decided to take my mum and aunt out. I wish I had pictures (goes to search for pictures, didn't find any)... The show overall was pretty good. I feel like it's something, if done well, that can be taken to different stages around the world. The show had very good dancers, music, actors and they showed different Nigerian cultures soooooooo well! For a second there, I almost forgot Nigeria's million issues. As good as the show was, there were problems: TIMING (it started 45 mins late), SOUND (it killed me that waaaaaaay to many times, the sound was muffled or just off... fix your microphones), and LIGHTING (at one point, all the lights came on, and I wasn't sure what was going on. I would say to the producer/director - Good job, but it can be sooooo much better!
2. I went for the TW Magazine Fitness Challenge Bootcamp 2! This is the second meetup since we first started. I think all the ladies have lost weight, body fat and inches. Oooooooooh, if you subscribe to TW Magazine, the current issue (with Tiwa Savage on the cover) has several pictures of me :p and the other ladies. I've lost a tiny amount of weight, but not anywhere near enough. God help me these remaining 5 weeks!
3. I went to the beach (have you noticed how much I love water?) with Cakes and our family/friends. We had a marvelous time drinking coconut water, eating fresh coconuts and being drenched by the ocean. FUN TIMES!!!
   
   
4. I had what I'm calling a mini but prolonged asthma attack. I say mini because I could function, but I knew I wasn't breathing well at all. Prolonged because I had to use my inhaler 3 times in 5 hours before I started breathing better. Suffice it to say, going to the Lagos Fashion and Design Week finale wasn't happening for me. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I MUST go next year, without fail!
5. I connected with God! I'm ashamed to say it, but lately I've been flipflopping with my faith and spirituality. But yesterday, I made a much-needed effort into plugging into God's presence. I asked for forgiveness for a slew of things here and there. I poured my heart out. I just felt refreshed. It makes me wonder why I would ever choose sin and deal with guilt, over obeying God and feeling light.
6. The devil tried to steal my joy! Well, PMS really. Cakes and I went on a wedding errand and by the end of the night, I was crying, blubbering, sniffing my eyes out. I'm pretty sure I'm just PMSing, but I think it includes wedding stress and apartment hunting. Y'all should help pray for us o. If not, I'll be looking for somebody's house to perch at after the wedding. 

That was my weekend in a nutshell. Next weekend, I foresee a lot of Rest & Relaxation!!! God knows I need it. 

Have a lovely week darl'ns!

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First Kiss Fridays FIRST!

Hello lovers!!!

Last week we had a looooooong awaited first kiss that was explosive and electrifying! We've got a SPECIAL SPECIAL treat next week!!! As in, I'm almost excited enough to post 2 First Kisses today, but nooooooooooooooooope. Good things come to those who wait.

Anyways, as usual, send stories of your first kisses ever, first kisses with boyfriends/girlfriends, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, handsome/beautiful strangers, husbands/wives, etc... It will be TOTALLY ANONYMOUS!

Please send your stories to berrydakara@gmail.com

This happened almost ten years ago so some details are a little fuzzy. I was attending a NSBE career fair and did not realize that the 50+ copies of my resume I brought with me were tailored to only one company - my objective specifically said that I was interested in working as an intern for Company X! So I had to run over to a FedEx copy and print shop to make some more resumes. As a broke college student, money is already tight, so I was extra stressed out that I had to spend money I did not plan for, and be late to the career fair where I was hoping for a chance to land an internship.

Anyway, at the FedEx store, this really cute guy who was behind me at the payment counter caught up with me after I paid and was on my way back. It turns out that he was attending the same career fair. It could be that because he is from the South and they are generally more laid back but as we walked back to the career fair, his pace was slow and his voice was relaxing so it helped to calm my nerves down. He gave me his business card and asked me to call him; he got major points for not being pushy and trying to collect my number, even though I had no intention of calling him, lol.

The next day, I ran into him and he said "Hey pretty lady, I was expecting a call or text from you all through yesterday." I gave him some random excuse about losing his contact information and he promptly collected my number. I was heading to lunch so he asked if he could join me. I had to go to my hotel room to freshen up or pick up something, I can't remember anymore. Anyway as soon as we got into the room, I kicked off my heels and sat on the bed; he sat next to me. We talked for a little while and he kept on saying things to make me laugh. If you know me, when I laugh, I do so with my whole body, shining my entire 32 and everything. I can't remember the exact details anymore, but I do remember reaching down to put my shoes on and when I straightened up he kissed me. It wasn't my first ever kiss but it was the most memorable first kiss I've shared with any guy to date..

*Our first First Kiss with a Handsome Stranger! My, he sounds like the quintessential Southern (US) gentleman. This reminds me of Gone With The Wind - just the whole Southern thing. I miss Atlanta...*

Thanks Dear Reader for this story. To everyone else, show some love to those around you today :)

Hugs, kisses, winks, a handshake and pat on the back, from moi to you!

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Weekend Snaps

Hey hey! I hope you had a pretty weekend. Mine was alright. I ate, worked out, ate some more (I made a plantain and potato hash and loved it waaaaay too much. I think Cakes liked it too).

I spent a good part of Saturday with Cakes, watching him at work. I'll just share a few pics...

Cakes made this, YES HE DID! How'd you like the dove?

He's working, I'm snapping!

I found this picture on my phone. This was the day I first thought that Cakes and I could definitely be in a relationship.