January 25, 2017

30 and Unmarried - Part 1

I got the idea of this post from a tweet that Sugabelly posted last week.



Being a Nigerian/African woman typically means that by the time you're done with your first degree, family members are eagerly awaiting your wedding announcement. You're probably between 23 and 25 years old at the time, and woe betide you if there's no eligible suitor hanging around.


I've mentioned it before, or I think I have in one capacity or another, that I didn't get married until I was 31. And yes, the years before my wedding included plenty of fasting and prayer... on my behalf, because it seemed like I was the only person who wasn't worried. My grandma who I love dearly (and whose dress I wore for my wedding reception) started her routine fasting and praying for me from when I turned 25.

There would be times when I would call her just to say hi, and end up being lectured on how not to discourage men from proposing marriage. HAHAHAHAHA! As in, our conversations were always a variation of this:

Me: Mama, Happy Birthday!!! How are you? May God bless you abundantly.
Mama: Thank you. Has anybody proposed?
Me: Erm, I don't have a boyfriend.
Mama: So? Does that stop anybody from proposing?
Me: Erm... *looks around, confused*
Mama: I hope you're not discouraging them. Make sure you encourage anybody that comes along.
Me: But Mama, I can't marry just anybody.
Mama: Keep quiet and listen to me. I gave your name to my pastor. We're fasting for 3 days from so-so-so date. Make sure you're fasting too.
Me: Sure thing. Gotta go. Bye!

It got to a point where I decided I wasn't speaking to her anymore, because I was sick and tired of it. I mean, of course, I can't NOT speak to my grandma, but still... At the end of the day, I know she was doing it out of love, and she's very traditional and old-school (so much so, that she almost couldn't believe we "allowed" my younger sister get married before me; and I even had the audacity to be her maid of honor!).

Eeek! This post is already too long. I promise I have a point. Part 2 coming tomorrow :)

P.S. I won't share about the random hook-ups my mum tried for me, because she reads my blog and she will tell me to pick pin or do frog jump.

21 comments:

  1. Lol at your grandma. She must love you very much.
    That pic of you and cakes is so cute!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe, she doesn't have a choice but to love me... I'm her first grandchild!

      Thanks!

      Delete
  2. Lol.. I can totally relate. Being single at 30 nd above is Nigeria isn't easy to deal with at all. I really enjoyed reading the post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Prisca. It really isn't easy but I encourage anyone in that situation to just live their life. What's the point of wallowing until he shows up? Wasted time that could have been spent having fun!

      Delete
  3. lol...
    I'm not even 25 yet but I can relate..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, tell them to slow down o. Ees not by force.

      Delete
    2. People should really slow down! Was just talking about this yesterday. Ah.

      www.KacheeTee.com

      Delete
  4. It is not a funny something in this Nigeria to be single and above 30

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really shouldn't be as big an issue as it is. Unnecessary pressure.

      Delete
  5. Lol, your grandmother is too funny (we know they do it out of love).

    www.wurassecrethair.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, every other month it's something new with her.

      Delete
  6. LOL...story of many of our lives -- the pressure from family is definitely not a joke once you hit 25 as a Nigerian woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's usually extended family members o. Maybe mum too, but mostly extended family.

      Delete
  7. Ahh!! I totally know the feeling. I’m nowhere near 30, and I've experienced it too, from friends, family, church members and strangers. Oh well! I suppose it's part of the joys of African womanhood :)

    Free gift worth £30

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, tell them to free you please. Unless they intend on being with you in the marriage.

      Delete
  8. LOL. Your grandma is one of a kind,really. It happens everywhere. My mom is currently fasting for my sister...lol

    www.liveinibadan.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Tell your sister to just take it in stride.

      Delete
  9. God bless your union!

    Chai African relatives no gree. One of my good friend her mother also said similar to you grandma. My friend replied saying "people don't walk around on bended knee" LOOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Rae! LOL @ people don't walk around on bended knee. So true! It's not like men are just carrying rings to propose to whoever whenever.

      Delete

Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)