August 5, 2014

Do you know your Love Language?

I first heard about the 5 Love Languages a few years ago at my church in Atlanta, but never really paid attention to it. I finally checked mine when Cakes and I started dating, and I felt like it would end up in marriage. I had bought a book, "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married," by Gary Chapman (who also wrote the 5 Love Languages). One of the very first exercises was to go to the website to figure out which Love Language I "speak" the most. How about after Cakes and I got through the questions SEPARATELY, we both had the same top 2 love languages!

The premise is this: people are different, and the way we all express and receive love is different. Gary Chapman was able to observe couples over time and came up with 5 different Love Languages:

  1. Quality Time
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Words of Affirmation
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Receiving Gifts
Source
Now, people generally express their love in one or two dominant ways, and that is the way they receive love too. For instance, if Acts of Service is my dominant love language, I would feel particularly loved if Cakes did the dishes, and I would feel that I'm showing love by making him breakfast when he's running late for church. If Physical Touch is your dominant love language, you're more prone to giving hugs or high fives, and you feel close to your significant other when he/she kisses you or gives you a foot massage (lol).

It makes things a lot easier when people know their love languages, and those of their friends, family and loved ones. If my friend speaks Words of Affirmation dominantly, she might not appreciate my sending her flowers as much as me writing a letter or email to lift her up. Or if my father's love language is Quality Time, no matter how many S5's I buy him, he won't appreciate them as much as my visiting him and spending time with him.

Soooooooo, what's YOUR Love Language? You can check it here. Please share with me :)

BTW, some kind times, I think my dominant love languages are changing o. I'm going to take the assessment too. 


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28 comments:

  1. Mine is act of giving and something else from one time I took it, will have to take it again too!

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    1. Yay, take it, take it!!!

      Quality Time is still one of my Top 2, but Physical Touch has been replaced with Gifts, lol. Although I think I may have answered in that line because I'm itching to receive a gift or flowers randomly :p

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  2. Just did mine, receiving gifts and acts of service! I am forwarding it to Le hüsband ha!

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  3. I loveeeeee that book and recommend it to as many people as possible!

    My primary love language is Quality time closely followed by Acts of Service :-) .. Infact all the languages speak to me lool

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    1. Me too!!! I should get that book though

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    2. I've never actually read the book, but in the Marriage book I mentioned, they had a chapter on it, so I got the basic gist.

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  4. Well I think mine is receiving gifts and physical touch. I'm not so much of a quality time person.

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    1. So when you get married, you'll buy or make your husband gifts (big and small) and give him kisses all the day loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong!

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  5. Give me some quality time and gifts here.

    ebunoluwole.com

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  7. Thanks for this post Berry! We both got to do it just now and my highest was Acts of Service then Quality Time. I think I will do this again after 6 months.

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    1. Sounds good to me! I actually don't think your core languages will change over a short period of time.

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  8. Mine is Words of affirmation. Followed closely by a tie between Acts of service and receiving gifts. I was sort of surprised that quality time wasn't the last. I am also not much of a quality time person.
    Thanks for sharing d site. First time I am hearing about it and it's food for thought.

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  9. I guessed Acts of Service and Quality time before I took it and I was so right. Receiving gifts was a close third sha, which is the surprising part. lol. Nice stuff

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  10. Took this test earlier this year, and asked my boyfriend to take it as well, and interestingly we had similar results.

    My strongest love language is Acts of Service with Quality Time and Receiving Gifts following closely. It's not about big things, don't buy me a phone or anything major. Something small and thoughtful that says I know you would like this, or I'm thinking of you. Touch and Words of Affirmation at the bottom of the list.

    It's just really good to know.

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  11. I speak all the languages my dear- but very fluent in Gifts and Acts of Service then touching then words of affirmations...I speak all! I remember taking this test over 5 years ago.

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  12. Its funny how I was still talking about this yesterday.

    My love languages used to be: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation in that order.

    But after dating one insensitive broke-ass stingy brother after another, it has definitely changed and Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts are in forefront.

    BTW, can we have a topic on why brothers think a hardworking woman should take care of herself by herself?!

    Love xx

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  13. I used to be very good at these things o, but now, I can't even remember anymore. I was a strong pastor bimbo disciple, so I was well-versed in my late teens.

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  14. So I just did the test and Quality Time, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts were tied in first place:)
    Words of Affirmation Second
    Physical Touch Third

    http://www.tukesquest.blogspot.com/

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  15. I think the Love Languages idea is awesome and was so glad when I came across it. Like a few people I've forgotten what mine were, but I plan on redoing soon, and again when I meet someone to share my life with. It's so important to show love to people in the way that matters to them, otherwise they just won't feel the love you're working so hard to show.

    When friends of mine were going through a tough time in their marriage I shared the website with them and I know the wife at least got some insight from the site.

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  16. My highest point was for words of affirmation and tied on quality time,gifts and acts of service. Physical touch was way way down there. I love hugs, but aside from that not really a 'touchy touchy' person :)

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  17. Lovely post
    http://sophialastyles.blogspot.co.uk/

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  18. Mine has to be Act of service,words of affirmation,receiving gifts.You should try and read this book too by Dr Emerson Eggerichs titled "LOVE $ RESPECT.

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  19. Quality Time
    Physical Touch
    Words of Affirmation

    It is all these three. The best is words of affirmation followed by physical touch/quality time.

    If I had it all without words of affirmation, I could not stay in that kind of relationship/marriage. If you had it all going for you and you spoke harshly all the time, I hate a hostile atmosphere and I do my best to dissipate hostilities but I don't want my relationship or marriage to be a job; it should be leisure to an extent.

    Yes, I know my love language.

    ...and words of affirmation are not manipulation, they are sincere words
    Humans Quality Time
    Physical Touch
    Words of Affirmation know when others are not being sincere sha!

    www.makingthemostofme.blogspot.com

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  20. Lovely post. I think Quality time, acts of service and gifts are mine....well, I don't mind compliments too....

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  21. Hello, first tym leaving a comment here... My love language is in this order;
    1. Acts of service
    2. Physical touch
    3. Quality time
    4. Words of affirmation
    5. Receiving gifts

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Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)