I just came across a bunch of notes I wrote on Facebook from 2008 or so. I will share 2 or 3 of them, starting with this one. I was 26 at the time...
In the past month, I have had discussions with three of my guy friends who are averse to marriage. These guys range in age - from lower/mid twenties to upper/mid thirties.
He mentioned how he doesn't see the point of marriage because most married couples end up being unhappy.
*To him, I say, people enter marriage for the wrong reasons. Have you thought about making sure the woman you end up with is someone you're sure you'll be happy with? Have you thought about getting married for what YOU think are the right reasons and making sure the lady-in-question feels the same way? And BTW, there ARE happy marriages out there......don't be so cynical.*
GUY # 2
This one thinks that marriage is just so "official" and has nothing to do with the two partners being in love.
*To him I say, there's nothing in this world that says you must get married for official reasons. If you honestly and truly do not think that the woman you're with is someone you want to be with emotionally, mentally, spiritually, blah-ly, then don't bother. Find somebody you love and truly believe you want to be attached to for the rest of your life and get married.*
The last one asked why couldn't the couple in question just live together and have kids....why get married?
*Umm, if you're going to live together, why not get married? Abi you think a marriage license is just a piece of paper? Enh, go and sign the piece of paper and pretend in your head that you're just in a long-term relationship....shouldn't be that hard. And anyways, why on earth, do you want to be 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and STILL say "Oh, she's my girlfriend.....?" It makes NO SENSE to me. AND about having kids....you really want people to see the mother of your children as simply a BABY MAMA and not a WIFE? I'm sorry, but I find that somewhat disrespectful (no offense to baby mamas).*
I met someone a couple of years ago, who was about to get married, and he told me that in truth, a man NEVER wants to get married. He only does it because he thinks the lady is pressuring him into it, or because that's the natural next step and everyone else expects it. I have to say I felt instantly bad for his fiancee when I heard his logic.
WHY? GUYS, I DON'T GET WHY YOU THINK MARRIAGE IS SUCH A BAD IDEA. PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME. And I say this to guys, cos none of my female friends have said any of the above to me yet.....so maybe it's just a guy thing.