August 20, 2014

Jealous of your Girlfriend


I feel like the worst blogger in the whole entire world of blogging. But since you know me so well, you've already figured out that I traveled and that's why I've largely been silent. Of course I missed you! I'll tell you all about my trip in a future post but on the plane, Alicia Keys' Songs in A Minor album was available for my listening pleasure. Aaaand, one of my favorite songs from her is 'Girlfriend.' You know the lyrics...

I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She bears a special part of youuuu

Listening to the song brought back old memories for me. You see, at a time, that song could have been written about me. I had this best friend who lived in a different state, and I'd fly over to visit two or three times a year (that's when airfare was cheap as heck!!!) Anyways, because we were close, I usually found myself in the position of the alleged other woman. His girlfriends, one after the other, all suspected that our friendship was more than platonic. In my defense, it's not my fault that I'm super easy to talk to :D As I was saying, my best friend's girlfriends didn't like me because they thought I was laying quietly by the corner to make my move and capture his heart!!!! Yeah right, there was noooo attraction whatsoever on our part.

But something I remembered on the plane was how feisty I was. I always thought that their jealousy was their personal problem and had absolutely nothing to do with me. I would say to myself that they'd have to get used to the fact that I was in his life and would be there forever... well, it didn't last forever - we used to fight like cat and dog; one day we had just drifted apart... If I was in that same position now, half of me thinks to take the mature road and try to become friends with the girlfriend, so that we could all live happily ever after. The other half of me is still feisty and wouldn't care if a girlfriend was jealous of me.

What would you do? Have you ever been in this situation - as the girlfriend or the girl friend?


  1. Hurray for growth! If I was the girl friend I would try to put myself in the girlfriend's shoes and like you have said I'd try to befriend the girlfriend. Out of respect for her I'd probably also try to only hang out with her boyfriend/my bestie when she's available (not that she necessarily has to join us but I'd just want to put her at ease, so she knows she could join us at any time). Since I don't secretly harbour a crush on the guy it would be easy to have compassion for the girl and her insecurities I think!

  2. Well I've never been in such situation but I've always wanted to have a male best friend. In such a situation I used to think I'll be feisty but now I think it will be the mature road....cos if I am the girlfriend in that situation I won't be very happy.

  3. It is always best to be friends with the girlfriend, not in a patronising way o. Pastor Bimbo used to tell us in those days that you can't say you have a married friend of the opposite sex, and you are not friends with the spouse. Its wrong. I know yours is not marriage, but its applicable.

  4. Den den den! Berry so you're one of those friends that we pray about! Hehehe #JustKindding oh!
    I think like you said, with the benefit of hindsight that it is important to consider the feelings of the women in his life. Women usually like to feel like priority with the men in their lives.. To now have a long-standing female friend who has survived many girlfriends haa, even me I will give you small side-eye lol
    Anyways, it's important to make an effort to draw the girlfriend in as much as possible..

  5. Personally i would not date a guy that has a female best friend that he is very close to. Truth is every body wants to feel secure in their relationship. So if my best friend was a guy I would try not to make his woman uncomfortable.

  6. yay! *dancing *. Berry is back.
    I have been there oh. The friend of the guys whose girlfriends always gave killer glances to.
    i have always felt it was her problem not mine. Bu when they got married i adjusted oh, and shut down all the heart to heart confidences we used to share just because they were one now. And if i cant be friends with the spouse as @ilola says, then i better give him space.

  7. Way to go girl! It's a terrible attitude to not care about another womans feelings or the effect your presence has on her relationship. The best route is always to be friends with the girlfriend and if she still does not want you around then scooch! seriously no woman wants to feel like her mans attention is divided, I learnt this the hard way :).


I'd love to hear from you about this post! Let's all learn and share our worlds.