June 22, 2016

Life Lately

Hey there!

Can you believe the year is almost half done? In a little over a week, we'll officially be halfway through 2016! Have you accomplished the goals on your checklist? How do you feel about the year so far?

Well, for me, I've been largely fine. And as I learned this week, FINE = BAREST MINIMUM! As in, BASIC... Simply getting by. Nothing fantastic, great or awesome. Maybe it's because I've been in a little funk for the past few days, with my feelings coming out yesterday in an emotional outburst!

Truthfully, I've been second-guessing myself, feeling inadequate and less-than. My self-esteem is taking a battering, mostly self-induced. Instead of focusing on the positives, I've secretly been wallowing in the worries of my life as it is now. 


Some of it stems from the lack of a job - if you haven't been there, being unemployed and job hunting can seriously take a lot from you. Sending out resumes and cover letters without getting call backs and interviews can hammer on your self-esteem. 

Yesterday I broke down. I practically locked myself in a room and cried (while still writing cover letters and editing my resume :p). It took talking to my dad at the end of the day to stop the tears and self pity. I was reminded that job searches take time. As a matter of fact, I just read that on average, it takes 43 days - and some industries or job levels take even longer. For me, it's barely been 22 days and let's be honest, I haven't actively looked every single day. 

Of course, there are other issues, such as the one I mentioned here, and the weight that won't go away (DUH! When I'm eating cake everyday and not exercising *rolls eyes*). I've even let it get to my blogging - I'm sure some of you have noticed. Sawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

But it's time to get off that pity horse and make changes where I can, and accept things that I cannot change by myself. Life is too short to wallow and sulk.

Besides,

P.S. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and leaving comments in my UK series!

26 comments:

  1. Aww, I can relate with the job hunt. Mine is a year plus now and honestly at some point it made me feel really bad too. Now, I rarely feel bad about it lol.

    Cassie Daves Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mehn, that's true, one year!!! That sobers me up right there. You need to tell us how you got over feeling bad about it.

      Delete
  2. Big hugs berry. I love u and God loves u the most. All will be well, and just a little while from now, u will laugh and wonder why u ever worried over stuffs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Berry, hang in there. Everyone has been at that stage at one time or the other. I remember the first time I had to REALLY job hunt, I was so demoralised by the lack of progress that it even started messing with my identity - I started asking questions like "Will I ever work?"... "Will I ever... this and that"... and all kinds of self doubts started to creep in. People go through those stages, and sooner or later, find a way out. It's not the end of the world. After this experience, you'll be able to comfort someone going through the same thing in future :-)
    Re: the weight, I've been meaning to say this to you for a while, but one thing I've found that works for me to avoid weight gain is when you're on holidays or not working, stick to the same eating plans as you did when you were working. Because the temptation when one is at home or just chilling is to eat everything in sight. But if you set yourself a limit to say when I was working, I would only have e.g. fruit salad for breakfast, that means when you're at home, make sure ALL that you eat before lunch time is that fruit salad. Then at lunch, eat the same portions you ate when you worked. And if when you worked, you weren't snacking much, do exactly the same when you're at home. This works for me, and I'm sure it would work for you too. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Adaugo - yes, DEMORALIZING is the word! But you're right... if you've been through it, you'll be able to help someone else out.

      The weight thing: if it was only me in the house, no problem. But in a house where people like to eat, it's a problem. Large breakfasts... snacks between meals... heavy dinners. I have to run and hide, or go and stay in my sister's house if I want to limit my food.

      Delete
  4. I LOVE YOU BERRY....YOU don't know this but you still inspire me everyday. I have an illness that makes me question my self-worth and has really made me backtrack and not do the things I was supposed to do in life, my goals have been kept in one place but 2months ago, I was gingered...lol and I've decided to pursue my photography. ...
    God loves you and I'm sure you know that. Whenever you want to start feeling down or inadequate, just know that it's the devil trying to start his own and God is smarter than the devil so you just tell him "not today Satan" and flip your hair....hehehe. God bless you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love you too darling! It's really humbling to hear that you find me inspirational when I feel like I need inspiration myself. I'm really sorry to hear about your illness, but I'm happy about your ginger! GET IT GIRL!

      Thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete
  5. I can totally relate to the job hunt. Sometimes I wondered if my application files disappeared before getting into the right hands. It can truly take a toll on your self-esteem.

    No matter what we face, there is always something to celebrate. No matter how long the winter lasts, the spring must come. The year is almost half gone and though we may not have everything we want, there are so many things to be grateful for.

    You are one smart, beautiful lady, Berry. You've ran this blog consistently and efficiently for years now. You are inspiring many. God loves you so much.

    Like you said, it helps when we have a positive mind. And don't forget your lipstick! Lol

    www.preciouscore.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, lipsticks are in hand and ready!

      Thanks a lot Precious. I do have things to be thankful for, and I should be able to count my blogging as an achievement. I pray something comes through soon, and something that I will love and bring value to as well.

      I've gotten rejection emails within the past week, but somehow I'm happy they're even answering - lol, isn't that weird?

      Delete
  6. Berry hang in there you will get a job. I got my first job 3 years after I graduated that was a really difficult time for me especially since my friends had good jobs and had even moved out of home. I always tell myself I had to go through that because God was preparing me for bigger things. That experience really humbled me and now I appreciate life more and never take anything for granted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3 YEARS?!?!?! WOW! Thank God you were able to learn something from that long wait! I'm sure you very much appreciate where you are now.

      Delete
  7. Hey sweetie be strong. I just lost my job last week but I still have joy.it can only get better babe the Lord is your strength big hug.

    ReplyDelete
  8. it will end in praise dear...just keep FAITH alive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. On the job hunt I can relate! Sending out all the CVS , amending each cover letter. Sigh. Don't worry, Better dey come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amending the cover letter is draining! But I gotta do it. Amen on the better!

      Delete
  10. Im currently sitting in the same corner. Mine has been four months......I had to quit my job.... even with the no job situation I can't even regret the decision to. I believe God has great plans for me so I am being very patient. Besides this little period of job drought has opened my eyes to alot of things about myself and the world. I am looking inwards and praying for a breakthrough soon. You are not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow, how come you quit your job? You seem like you're happy with your decision though, so I'm sure something better is in store for you. I pray you get the perfect one soon.

      Delete
  11. Hi Berry,

    Hang in there. Its tough now so when you finally have that job you can value it and be able to testify. My advice to you now is to enjoy this time you have now with Cakes and with your beautiful baby niece and your family. Because when you do eventually get a job you will miss these days and wonder why you ever wanted a job in the first place. Enjoy this phase. Also, finding a job is a full time job in itself. How about you do this for me. Apply to 10 jobs a day online and connect and message 10 people in your field a day on LinkedIN (hiring managers specifically directors and up). I did way more than this per day while I was hunting. This is a new week. Start from Today and see.

    Berry, Remember when God does it, He does it BIG. He will do exceedingly abundantly beyond your expectations. I assure you, he makes ALL things beautiful in HIS time. He has never failed, and HE would not start now. Trust him and let God work his wonders. Berry I strongly believe that by the time God is done with you, people will bless God for you, nations will celebrate you and people will tap into your blessings. Your blessings are in the oven, use this time that youre in God's waiting room wisely.

    I love you, but God loves you more.

    -Tee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tee.

      Thanks for the strategy with the job hunting. I'm definitely going to aim for at least 10-15 jobs every day. I haven't really used Linkedin for a few years, so I'm getting back into it.

      Like you mentioned though, I am enjoying babysitting my niece and being able to spend time with my family.

      To be perfectly honest sha, I haven't been doing enough in the waiting room... almost seems like I'm even outside the waiting room *hides face* I definitely feel more encouraged from your comment though. Thanks for the ginger!

      Delete
    2. LOL @ outside the waiting room. At times I've felt like I'm across the street from the building.

      When I was first job hunting, my uncle gave me similar advice - at least ten contacts/applications a day. It took a few months and even family telling me to expand my search to other fields. At the end I got a job in the field I wanted and it was with a major company who I sent the last copy of my demo reel to just because I figured why not. The listing was on a random message board for my industry and it was about three months later that they reached out saying can we fly you out next week. See God. I wasn't there for too long but it was longer than originally contracted and gave me the leg up I needed.

      God never lets us down.

      Delete
  12. I definitely understand what you mean by the "fine" notion. I think pushing our boundaries is the hardest thing ever so we often talk ourselves out of doing things that would allow us to meet and most importantly, surpass our goals. Every trial in life has a reason, every dry season has an oasis on the other side. God will open a door, trust me, I know! Great read and all the best! God bless!

    afrikanrising.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen amen amen! In the back of my mind, I always know that if you're feeling really down, the "up" side is coming soon but I don't put it into practice. I need to remember that though, and I thank you for the reminder. God bless.

      Delete
  13. Everyday we learn, pass through some things, face new changes but thats what life is all about. Your present condition isn't permanent, its temporary.
    I still have that your VLOG on my device and i gets emotional each moment i watch it despite that i've watched it several times before | am also dealing with some things here and am sure with time, everything will work out well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Tunde. You're right... life comes in cycles, and I do need to remember that there will be changes in life.

      I pray whatever you're looking for comes to fruition. God bless.

      Delete

Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)