February 10, 2015

The Boy/Man Who Likes Me

Yesterday afternoon, on my way home from work, I noticed a status on someone's page that read...

"Questions to ask when you meet a lady...
Are you single?
Are you engaged?
Are you promised to anyone?
Are you betrothed?"

I immediately remembered one of my very first posts from 2 years ago titled, Married Until Proven Single. The post basically talked about how I was being propositioned by men who were unavailable for one reason or another, and so I came up with a questionnaire for us girls to ask men who claim interest.


In my mind, all of the above should be enough to decipher whether a man is available to date or get into a relationship with. If the guy you're with has any of the boxes (minus the last one) ticked, then you're in a "situationship" as Gbemi the Beat 99.9FM radio personality says.

Anyways, I sent the above graphic to my friend in response to his status, and he said it should go both ways, as women these days can be just as shady as the guys. I said... well, let's not generalize, BUT I think that it's fair to assume that most women have at least one guy around them who's interested. Now, the girl might not be interested in him, but she keeps him around for her ego - let's be honest, it's nice to know that there's someone who likes you, whether or not you like him back. My friend thought that was being unfair to men in general, but I think it's a fair assumption. I'm not saying all women are stringing a poor fellow around, but I believe most of us secretly like knowing that someone's interested, period.

What do you think?

24 comments:

  1. yess love this post so true every woman does have that one guy around for comfort.

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    1. I think that yeah, every female has a guy hiding in the background who likes her.

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    2. I think that yeah, every female has a guy hiding in the background who likes her.

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  2. I agree with you Berry. Before I started dating my present boyfriend, I stringed a lot of guys along. I knew it wasn't a good thing but I liked the fact that a guy or guy(s) liked me. Have a blessed week ahead and say hi to Cakes...

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    1. Hilda is a bad girl, EIEIO! Lol, don't mind me. It simply feels nice knowing that you are admired.

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  3. must be nice. I don't have said guy.

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    1. Maybe he's there and you're just unaware? There was this guy in college who we noticed was always staring at our table in the cafeteria. Eventually someone went to ask him why he kept staring at us and he said he'd noticed me a while beforehand and thought I was cute... we ended up dating for a couple of months.

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  4. As someone who has been strung along for 2 years in the past, I can honestly tell you that my impression of a girl who does that kind of thing is that she's a wicked person. She's wasting the poor guy's time and she gives no consideration to the emotional damage she's doing to the guy. This is one of the things that leads guys to becoming emotionally unavailable. It becomes hard to not believe every woman is capable for such devious acts. I've heard many girls talk about liking the fact that there's someone interested but that's selfish. If you have to the nasty to the guy to get him of your back please do that, its better he cuts his loses early and moves on. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot, a woman would generalise men as bastards (as usual) if some guy strung her along with no intention of dating her. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm taking it personal. It's a touchy subject having been a victim.

    As for the graphic, I agree with your friend. it should go both ways. Both man and woman should tick the appropriate box. As for me, when I smell another man around a woman I'm interested in and I know he was in the picture first, I keep her at arms length. The drama isn't worth it unless it's clear that the guy has no hope and he knows it. Sorry for taking up all your comment space :-D

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    1. Ah, that's not fair, and thanks for sharing from that perspective. I know how us ladies can lament and scream and cry and wail that a guy has "wasted" our time for however long. So we should be sensitive to that kinda behavior.

      I don't endorse anyone stringing along anyone else, period. I believe that if there's no hope at all, then the likee should be honest and gently tell the liker. I can't say that I always did that though, so shame on me for that behavior :(

      But THANKS for your looooooong comment! I loved reading it :D

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  5. It is always good to be direct. Ask the guy or lady all these questions directly. No need to beat around the bush and get into trouble later when one's heart is already in it.

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  6. And my friends always laugh at me when I talk about situationship Looool

    Like the post.

    www.livinginlekki.com

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  7. Yasssssss! I agree to a certain extent

    BLEURGH - http://www.bleurghnow.com

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  8. Hmm hmm berry and her thought provoking piece...I'm a lady but I never liked stringing guys along.if I wasn't interested I said so and made it super clear sometimes I even .dodged calls.Then one of my friends came into the pic,he's been asking for a relationship .. I do like him but I'm not comfortable with certain things in his life so I've been saying no.As much as I enjoy his company I decided to stop hanging out with him so as not to send the wrong message.Even tho' I enjoye the attention I definitely made it clear that we couldn't be hang out buddies.He thought I was overreacting but I knew I didn't want to keep 'hope alive'.Now he calls almost everyday to gist..so am I stringing him along or is he trying to be strung ..lol

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    1. HAHAHAHAHA, you've already told him your mind, right? And tried avoiding hanging with him. So... erm, I don't think you're stringing him along.

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  9. OMG, I totally agree with this post...seeing that I have been dealing with unavailable guys who tell me they are single till it is convenient for them to reveal the true situation with them. I guess I just have to start asking this questions.

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    1. Ask o. In fact, do a full background check.

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  10. Honestly, though it feels cool to have guys trying to catch my attention, I try to not string them along...I think it's unfair.
    Yet, some guys really do not help matters. Chase all you want, dissuade them all you want, be rude even, they'd still be there.
    Maybe in hope that you're just acting stubborn or hard to get? That you'd one day have a rethink? That "no girl.is ever single" , so why not chase you still?! And even that they'd get you if o'er chance, you fall out with your boyfriend! LOL

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  11. I have someone like this in my life

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Reading your comments ALWAYS makes me smile. I hope you smile when I reply :)