Anyways, remember when I wrote about how long newlywed-dom lasts? We concluded that it lasts as long as people keep asking "So how's married life?" Well I want to address this question. When people ask me this question, I take a second or two to assess who asked, how close we are, how I'm feeling at that particular moment, and if I have time to gist. Depending on my assessment, you'll get one of the following answers...
- "It's fine, thank you." - This means that we're not close and/or I don't have the time or energy to chat.
- "You know," followed by a smile :) - This means that we're cool, and I may have time to chat but only if you follow it up with another comment/question.
- "Do you want to hear the answer you're looking for or do you want to hear the truth?" - This means that we're close and I have time to talk to you. BTW the answer people are usually looking for is "Fine, awesome, best thing in the whole world, everyone should get married, your life is incomplete if you're unmarried, blah blah blah." The truth however is different.
The truth is marriage is fine sometimes and not-so-fine at other times. My cousin was shocked the other day when I told her that Cakes and I had argued several times. She was like "Enh?!?!? Aren't you supposed to be in the honeymoon phase? (which according to her is at least 5 months). I'm sorry to burst any bubbles, but married life is not always good, not always fun. And those times can be caused by huge arguments over money or sex... or they can be caused by the most insignificant things e.g. the other day I was annoyed because Cakes left egg shells in the kitchen sink and that he mistakenly threw away the vegetable peeler.
Married life is not a fairy tale. There are disagreements, arguments, raised voices, slammed doors, locked doors, prayers to God asking for help/grace, tears, etc. In the midst of all this though, are lessons in forgiveness, unselfishness, peace-keeping/seeking, comfort, unconditional love, etc. With these, married life can be and IS sweet. I like knowing there's someone else in the house, that there are shared dreams, and that we are hopefully growing together.
We're not a perfect couple, far from it. Yes, we have nice pictures and funny stories, but we aren't perfect and our life isn't perfect. But we try to make the most of it and make sure the happy/good times significantly outweigh the sad/bad times.
That's how MY married life is.
P.S. I think Cakes might have a different answer because he's the optimistic one, and I'm more realistic. He's the one who says "We're rich" when I say "Dude we're broke!"