April 10, 2015

Be the Judge: Cakes and I's Disagreement

Hey guys,

Now now now, before you start wondering whether I'm putting intimate details of Cakes' and I's marital life (marital is just a weird word), it's not a serious disagreement. But it's something we have "argued" about ever since we met and it's time for me to be right get opinions (which I'm sure will prove me right anyways).

Here are a couple of scenarios:

*It's a party. Guy sees girl. Guy thinks girl is cute. Guy goes to meet girl*
Guy: Hey Girl, I like you.

*Guy is single. Guy is scrolling through his Blackberry Messenger. Guy's friend posted a girl's picture cos it's her birthday. Guy sends message to friend*
Guy: Hey friend! Who's this girl?
Friend: Hey guy! She's my friend (or cousin or coworker or choir mistress... whatever, she's sha a girl)
Guy: Wow, she's so pretty. I like her. Give me her phone number.

*Guy notices a girl he's never met before, rehearsing in a church play.*
Guy decides he LIKES her.

FUN FACT: That last scenario is about Cakes and I.

And herein lies the disagreement. It doesn't make any sense TO ME that you like somebody you haven't had at least one conversation with!!!! That use of the word "like" really irks me! How can you like me when you haven't talked to me? Maybe I look good but I have a snooty attitude. What if I have killer style that attracted you, but the minute you talk to me, you realize that I have a potty mouth? Would you still say you like me? OF KESS NOT!!!

Cakes on the other hand says you can just like someone by looking at them. *rolls eyes cos he's obviously wrong* In fact, if you allow him, people can meet and be in a relationship in 2 weeks. HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

It's a lie o. Whenever a guy came at me and the first thing he said was "Berry, I like you," I always responded, "No, you don't. You don't know me yet so you can't possibly like me."

C'est fini!

Who's right? Me, shey?


  1. I see where you are coming from with this. Maybe what the guy needs to say is "She seems nice, I'd like to get to know her". I honestly agree that you can't like some one before you meet them. Not to defend guys, but they are visual creatures, like magpies that like shiny things.
    To answer your question, yes you are right Berry!

  2. Apologies in advance Berry, but as a man...I'd have to side with cakes. Thing is, we men are visual animals -we study someone we like and process the results faster than a computer. Within seconds, we can decide on who we like and don't like. Weird I know, and often times it doesn't even make any sense, but that's the way it is.

  3. I think the definition of 'Like' should be question here. Because I like some people I have not had interactions with but 'like' in the sense that I admire but not 'like' I would want to marry you kinda one... but you gotta face it, guys are visual and their initial 'like' is always not as we ladies take it.

    I would say both of you are right :p depending on the angle you look at it...

  4. Well, If a person says he 'likes' you, I suppose he means he 'likes' what he's seeing - the outward appearance. I'll go with Cakes on this.......

    Sorry ..........

  5. Your husband is right!

  6. Berry i'm with you on this. Biko, how would you just like someone like that? Then the most annoying is after one month...i luv u (notice d use of "u" in luv as against love?). It just makes me feel this guy is very silly and rude. At least gimme the chance to talk to u then we decide if its going somewhere. Very annoying.
    Then you now say i don't like you that way and dude starts blabbing about u being arrogant...... Ogini?

    1. I also dislike it when people write "luv". It is my number one pet peeve. I think the person is unserious and silly.

  7. I doubt this has anything to do with male or female or visual whatever, sorry blogoratti :)

    Evolution has meant that people can like or dislike people at first sight/scent/hear/touch. It is a survival mechanism. Sometimes one's instinct is wrong, but most times it's right. The liking does not necessarily has to be romantic BTW, it happens female to female, male to male, and vice versa. The ones that turn to real LIKING and love are the best though, gives a solid foundation of friendship and some other mede medes that I won't go into now :)

    But suffice to say Cakes is right, LOL...

  8. Berry, Men are visial..his liking you means he is attracted to you. A woman on the other hand is more interested in the personality or wallet.


  9. He likes you based on the information he has at the moment. Upon getting to know you, he will either like you more, stay surface, OR dislike you. We 'like' photos on Instagram all the time based on what's represented there. Who knows, when you realise the story of the photo, you might not like it after all.

    I get what you mean though - you are thinking of like in the deeper sense. But honestly, he might have been observing you for a while and developed a deeper like/admiration for you. I've never met you but based on your blog, I like you.

    1. This here just summed up everything I wanted to say.
      Also that initial like by a guy or girl is important as it sets the foundation for the relationship. Most times it grows to something deeper. However when the guy didn't really like the girl at the beginning, naturally from deep inside him, they tend to mess up.

    2. Well said....I'm on the same page.

  10. I don't think you can like someone just by seeing the person. You can be attracted to the person, but not like. What if you see someone and just assume you like her, then you approach her and she slaps you. Will you still say you 'like' her?

    Atilola's World

  11. Funny how I think like you when someone who doesnt know me walks up to me and says "I like you". I'm like "No you don't. You know even know me". Yet, I agree with Cakes in that you can like someone at first glance. I think it goes beyond the physical or sexual or an assumption, sometimes it's just a person's aura. I can sometimes tell almost instantly the aura someone has and based on that I might either like or dislike a person instantly. Also sometimes the first time you meet a person you can get a glimpse of their personality and/or temperament at a glance, and instantly have affection or disaffection for them based on that. So Hun, me thinks you're both right. Sorry, you'll win next time. And LOL @ that disclaimer in the first paragraph.

  12. I have to agree with your hubby. The word "Like" might be relative sha. I dunno. But when you see a dress somewhere, you don't know if it will look good on you yet but there's something that attracts that dress towards you, and you want to see if it will fit or look good on you. I mean immediately you feel you like this dress and probably excited to try it.
    I think its pretty much the same with people, there are some people who I meet for the first time and I just feel bland towards them and in some occasions I just get attarcted to some others. It might be their style, the way they talk , etc that attarcts you to them and you immediatly have this sense of like towards them.

    1. I agree with you completely, its a sense of likeness which can grow into something deeper or you could easily change your mind when you get to know them. Sorry Berry, your hubby is right

  13. I will agree with most people here and say it depends on the definition of 'like'. I can see someone I've never spoken to and feel... drawn is the word. Attracted is another word.
    Speaking to the person would then either put me off or make me want to get closer.
    Then there's the case where you've seen the person do something kind for or say something nice to another person and genuinely like their person. So I'm with Cakes on this one, except on the picture matter. Pictures are still! Attitudes don't show. No.

  14. Its definitely a 2sided perception.. You like me enough to want to know my person YES! You like me to want a relationship already...NO! But really Berry, men are visual thinkers unlike we ladies...we always want to analyse. None of you is wrong.

  15. I've had this argument so many times in my short life and I totally agree with you Berry. How can you just walk up to me today today after looking at me for 5 mins from afar and say you like me. Is it Bluetooth like
    Nigerian and Natural

  16. Are u kidding?ur right on all counts..The one that puts me off more and I cannot stand is the love at first sight thingy...**I knew I loved her from the first day our eyes were four***..Blank stare..I think its just shallow to think along those lines..Attracted at first sight?Ok,maybe but love and like? those should'nt exist on those planes..

  17. You can be attracted to one at first sight but not like nor love biko....those should come after the attraction and in the end, you might stay or run depending on how strong your like/love holds.....

  18. Lol! Berry you are cheating oh! Such a biased post! lol "Who's right? Me, shey?" rotflol...

  19. you re right buh cakes isn't wrong either.. i tink cakes sees itfrom the appearance of the person or maybe her cheerful attitude. buh then we can't deny the smallest possiblity that liking someone you haven't spoken to is possible. u re both right

    Favour Moyse Blog

  20. I actually agree with Cakes. I think you can meet someone and like the way the person carries his/herself and that's what draws you to the person. Therefore you like something about the person.,, Like, not love o. And I think it's shorter to say "I like you" than "I like the way you carry yourself" when you just meet someone. But I see where you're coming from. Even though, we women are right more than 90% of the time, (lol), your husband takes this one.

  21. Berry, I just had this argument with a guy who said he loves me because he saw my pic and people had nice things to say but I was like "No you don't! What if I have a bad attitude?? What if I'm pretending...afterall the people don't live with me?"
    Long story short...he still doesn't get it. I'm thinking it's a guy thing.
    They see, like, love. Period.
    Maybe we girls overanalyse things...lol!
    Final word...Berry you are RIGHT!

  22. I think you can like someone when you see them for the first time based in their carriage and once you do chances are you won't notice the characters especially if it's a bad one.

  23. I am such a big cynic and usually would say 'how can you like me when you don't even know me'. 'I'm crazy o'. Lol

    But then, I also think a huge part of knowing someone is to watch how they interact with others and treat others when they don't even know they are being watched. So if said guy has had the opportunity to watch you without yet saying a word to you, I can agree to some level of like.

    Really, I think Cakes had been noticing you around small small before, jare.


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