April 5, 2013

Easter 2013: Kolanut, Snails and Indecent Dressing


I went to Port Harcourt for the Easter weekend, and I had a pretty ol time! Not IN Port Harcourt per se. But being with family and friends made it a pretty one.

First stop was Owerri to see my maternal grandparents. I literally went directly to Owerri from PH International Airport, after my flight landed. On the way, we stopped to buy the usual garri, snails, plantain and oranges - some of which would be shared with my grandparents. Snails are yucky to kill and clean, but ohhhhhh soooooooo yummy!

My parents and I had a nice couple of hours, sitting outside in my grandparents' porch and just talking. My granddad gave me a lecture on 'Orji' aka Kolanut. He talked about how the kolanut usually has 4 to 6/7 parts, and in traditional Igbo culture, the one with 4 parts is used, and signifies the 4 days of the week. Apparently, Igbos have only 4 days, and any other added days are not real, according to my granddad (LOL).  Anyways, when a male guest comes to visit, he's offered 'orji,' which he takes and gives thanks his host. The male guest then passes it back to his host, who proceeds to bless the kolanut (in Igbo only) and breaks it for sharing. If there's more than one male guest, the kolanut's passed around until it gets back to the host.

Being in Owerri brings back memories and I like snooping around, looking for old books and pictures.

Not sure what year this was.

And then my granddad brought out a mug I'd given to him a gazillion years ago - how is it that my 87 year old grandfather remembers something and I don't?!

On the way back to PH, we stopped at a store to buy something, and I noticed a food item wrapped in celophane. I asked what it was and the store keeper said they were pancakes. I grabbed one, just to taste it - not bad, but not great. By the time we got back to PH, I was so tuckered out, I slept off. I sent a couple of messages to friends to let them know I was visiting and went right back to sleep.

On the Sunday, we went to my dad's village for Easter service and also to honor my cousins' grandmother. She's an Igbo woman (was friends with my grandmum) who fell in love and got married to an Ogoni man. She left Igboland and moved to Ogoni, where she's been for the past 59 years! Women can love sha. One of my friend's mum left America to live in Awka, Anambra State with her husband. Could I do the same? I dunno. I saw my paternal grandmother during this trip to Kono. After the church service, we just chilled in our house and had a small get-together.

Off to Kono!
The culminating event of my Easter weekend was my cousin's wedding!!!!! Congratulations to Kameka (not EmeKabari, although it makes more sense, but I'm stubborn so deal with it). This is where Indecent Dressing comes in. Okay, so our family started out Methodist - the first Methodist church in Nigeria is in my dad's village (History lesson y'all). On the way to the wedding, my mum said I'd likely be stopped from entering the church, since I didn't have a head-covering. We were prepared for that... no biggie. Except that when we got to the church, the most overzealous usher I've ever met in my life, ran from inside the congregation to meet us at the door and the following convo ensues...

Usher: You can't enter the church. MMM MMM *shaking her head*
Me: Erm, why not? Don't worry, we're getting a handkerchief.
Usher: It doesn't matter. We don't allow indecent dressing in the church
Me: Excuse moi? Are you saying I'm dressed indecently?
Usher: No.
Me: That's a lie. That's exactly what you're saying.
Usher: That's not what I said. But you can't enter.
Me: You know what? You're being judgmental and Jesus wouldn't turn me away! Mummy I'm going to the car. *huffs off*

I sat in the car listening to Flavour's album, and saw at least 3 girls in mini-skirts/dresses sauntering in. I don't see why legs are better than boobs. (okay I see why, but whatever). Eventually my mum found a scarf for me to cover my bosom, and I wore my dad's hat #RebelChick!

The offending outfit

All covered up. 
 My mum said I looked like Abu - Disney Aladdin's pet monkey (covers face in shame).

And THAT my friends, was my Easter weekend, 2013. *whew*

Have a pretty weekend! I have a bunch of stuff lined up (will I do them, is the question?)


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  1. LMAO. Cover up your glands next time, will ya?

  2. Buhahahahaha!

    1) Berry you are very adventurous. I love how you always have all these kinds of stories. I used to DREAD going to my villa when I was younger but now wouldn't mind doing some exploring and "digging" through pics and all... *nostalgic*

    2) Omgosh that church dressing thing is sooo annoying! Very hypocritical too. I wonder what would have happened if you pushed your way through to get in (I mean not the ideal thing to do, but haba!) SMH. SO pathetic!

    3) Did I already admire your desire for adventure? LOL. See you so excited about snails and co. lololol

    4) You are such a troublemaker! Why didn't you jejely just know in your head that the usher thought you were indecently dressed? You just had to speak your mind shaaaa

    5) Biko have you started acting? I can soooo see you in a movie... drama!

    6) Hello!! Feels like ages since I heard from you (lol this should really be 1 on my list)

    #okbye! :)

    Checkout ReviewNaija

    1. LOL, lots of points!

      1) You just have to find something fun and interesting about anywhere
      2) Ha! I'm not pushing to go anywhere o. I really would have sat in the car for the whole service
      3) Hehe, but they ARE exciting
      4) I have the right to speak my mind, innit? And lol, I wanted to hear her say it :p
      5) Hehehe, no o. Not yet :(
      6) Seeing as I've responded 5000 years later, you HAVE heard from me now :D

  3. How did you miss out the Boobies when you were telling me this story?!!

  4. Kabari Okafor nee Wikina.March 8, 2015 at 6:34 AM

    Hahahahahaha. I am sorry but people can be so annoying and it's "Emekabari" COUZ! Everyone likes it. Glad you didnt miss the joining @the end and yea your Aladdin pet outfit was recorded in the video. Lol


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