June 10, 2019

Managing Expectations

Good Monday Morning!

It's going to be a short one today, but the topic of managing one's expectations has been on my mind for a little while. If you read my birthday post this year, then you know that I didn't really have any expectations whatsoever, and ended up being pleasantly surprised. The calls and messages from well-wishers, and hanging with my family over several days made me feel really loved and appreciated. I did have one very tiny expectation that was dashed, and kinda reinforced my belief that it's better to have low or no expectations in a bid to avoid getting disappointed.

Y'all know that I have been trying to find a new job for a little while, and I have had a few interviews in the past month. On one of my interview days, a supervisor saw me before I went to one, and on my return, asked me how it went. I gave her a nonchalant, "It was alright, I guess." She was a little confused, because she knows me to be more positive. I told her that I didn't want to have any expectations from the interview, so that if I didn't get the job I wouldn't be too disappointed - I didn't get the job by the way. Last week, I had an interview for a different job and had high expectations as I made it to the second round. However, I found out some information during that second interview that would likely mean the job wouldn't work out. I literally had to take a few minutes afterwards to just breathe and cry a little bit, because I was disappointed. 

It's not just circumstances that call for you to manage expectations - people do too. I'm sure you've seen the quote about not having any expectations of people, so that you don't get disappointed by them. I mentioned this to the same supervisor, and she countered that quote saying, "If you have low or no expectations of people, then you're automatically giving them a free pass to under-perform. Since nothing is expected of them, chances that they'll do nothing are higher." It really gave me pause, and now I'm trying to find the balance between having low and high expectations in life. 

I've posted a poll on Instagram to find out what people think, and I'd like to know your thoughts too in the comments below. Are you more inclined to go with the adage that having expectations breeds disappointment? Or do you agree that if you don't have expectations, then you're practically telling the other person (or circumstance) that  they don't have to do anything at all, to meet you at your wants/needs?

1 comment:

  1. When it comes to people, I have very very low expectations. The problem is when people don't meet even that ridiculously low expectations, then I get very mad and do not extend grace towards them which sucks. When it comes to things, I also tend to have low expectations but I find it's now creeping into my faith. So it's almost like I'm lacking faith. So for me, where I am trying to get to is having daring faith/high expectations about a thing but still being perfectly fine if it doesn't work out.


I'd love to hear from you about this post! Let's all learn and share our worlds.