January 25, 2021

Thanks for the Memories?

 Last week while reading a passage from the Bible, I happened upon this verse:

This famine will be so severe that even the memory of the good years will be erased.

Genesis 41:31 NLT

The verse is from Joseph's interpretation of Pharaoh's dreams. I've read the story countless times as a child but for some reason, this time around it hit me differently. This time I likened it to the end of a marriage. BTW, I promise I'm not becoming "Divorce girl" and will write about other things as well - if you've been a longtime follower though, you know that I write from my thoughts and experiences. 

Anyway as I was saying, the verse spoke to me about the end of a marriage. Towards the end, there is a famine of love, communication, shared interests/goals and any memories of happier times in the marriage seem to vanish. I remember when I first started talking about my situation, lots of people said, "But you guys looked so happy and so in love." And to be honest, things had deteriorated so much that I could not remember those times. 

Even something as simple as my girls saying, "You know when you first met him, you went on and on about how good-looking he was," and I responded, "Really? I said that?" To be honest though, I think what happens is that when things get so bad, thinking about the good times can be painful and we subconsciously block them out - no wonder memories of the good years are erased. 

[Un]fortunately I have always been one for taking photos and videos and writing blog posts and sappy features on Bella Naija. Even though they graciously removed the posts when I asked them to, there is no way to delete every single post, photo or video... well I could, but who has that time? Every now and then, Mark Zuckerberg and Google like to send reminders, like "Hey, I know y'all aren't together anymore but look at that time you went on a romantic trip to Cotonou! Oh, y'all hate each other now but check out these photos from Dubai." You can like to sharrap Zuck!

For the record I don't hate my daughter's father o. I have had hateful feelings towards him in the past but not anymore. 

My point is divorce (and really breakups in general) can make you forget that there was ever any good. Little things that you overlooked because of love become glaring signs in hindsight that maybe you should never have been together. But the simple truth of the matter is, more often than not, there actually was love, there was laughter, there was happiness. The end of a thing doesn't mean there was never good.

Okay bye. Have a great week!

1 comment:

I'd love to hear from you about this post! Let's all learn and share our worlds.