February 8, 2021

With time...

Almost 3 years ago to the day, I called up my friend from church and asked if she had any openings available at her salon. She did and I skipped over (drove actually), sat in her chair and said, "Please cut my hair."

Coco Chanel said that when a woman cuts her hair, she's about to change her life. The thing about it though, was I didn't actually want the change that drove me to cut my hair. I remember sharing on Youtube (and here) why I cut my hair (see here for post). I watched it again recently and back then, while I mentioned going through a tough time, it's clear to me now that it was a way for me to deal with my marriage ending. There was no discussion with anyone. No hemming and hawing about the decision. I just decided almost spur of the moment that I wanted... no, needed... to do something drastic. And for me at the time, it meant cutting off my hair. 

Getting my hair cut at the time made several statements like: "Fine, I don't need you in my life either," to "I'm independent of you and I can do whatever I want" to "LOOK AT ME! TALK TO ME!" I definitely think there was an element of pain behind the decision to cut my hair. I tried to cover it up by having it in a tapered style, which I have to say was FIRE when I chose to style it properly. But at the end of the day, it came from a painful place, and I always associated that shorter hair to what was going on.

Last week it hit me how my hair has grown over time. I remember being irritated that I couldn't pack my hair into a bun for a while. I remember looking wistfully at old photos where my hair was a bit longer, asking myself why I made such a rash decision to cut the hair. BUT, with time, it has grown. It's not yet where my peak length was but it's definitely grown and still growing. And the same goes for me. The thing about [most] emotional pain is that even though at first it seems to be all-consuming, with time, you will start to feel better. You might have your down days here and there, but generally speaking, you will move on... if you can't move on, please go and see a therapist because holding on to hurt and pain is more damaging to you than the other person. 

Anyway, my message to everyone who might be in a dark place right now is this: it won't last forever. One day you'll see the light again. One day, you'll realize that you can have a full-bellied laugh. One day, you'll sing and dance again. One day, you'll find that your hair is growing.

Love ya!


  1. I so needed this message in my life right now. Thank you


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