April 25, 2013

Leaving and Cleaving... But I LOVE my family

One of the many verses about marriage is Genesis 2:24, which says:

[New Living Translation] - This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

[King James Version] - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Why am I bringing this verse up? I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm "too close" to my family, and as such, am not ready for marriage. That because I interact with my family on a daily basis, it means that I'm not emotionally or mentally ready to move on and start my own family. That the fact that I still say "My dad this... my mum that... my siblings said... my nephew did...," it means that I'm not ready to LEAVE because I'm still CLEAVING to my family.

If I really feel like spiting anyone and putting my own spin on this verse, I could very well say that the verse clearly says THE MAN leaves his father and mother - it doesn't say anything about the woman leaving anybody :D. But obviously, that isn't the case, so that translation is moot.

But I have a problem with people who think that getting married means that you can't be close to your family anymore. I'm sorry, but my family RAWKS! As in, we are FUN! I have friends who say they're envious of how close we are. We joke around, play around, have arguments, admonish each other, but we love each other. And that's not a bond that can or should be broken simply because I get married to anybody. Now, I'm not saying that my family will take priority over my future husband and children. However, this notion that they shouldn't matter after marriage isn't one that sits well with me.

This was random, I know.


Follow on Bloglovin


  1. At least you read the bible verses and understand what they mean clearly. How you translate (or chose not to translate it) is up to you. I totally believe one should never forget their immediate family when they start their own, but I sense your own model might end up placing your immediate family on the same level of priority as the one you will start with your husband. But then again, we are not in a position to question you on any decision. Your husband will decide if he is cool with it or not :)

    1. I don't know about placing the on the same level of priority with my husband, exactly. He would be my top priority, but not to the detriment of my family. I've lived my life in a way that I try to balance love, life, work, friends, family. I just don't see how/why my relationship with my family should suffer. People make it out to seem like I'm supposed to forget them once I get married.

  2. A regards this topic, I believe that after you get married, you will inadvertently find yourself more involved in your new family because of the daily demands that come with marriage, particularly a new marriage. When the kids come, that will be the sealer as regards your actions concerning this issue. It doesn't mean that you will cease to have a close relationship with your family, heck your husband might even join you in gumming your immediate family, but involuntarily, your new family will take precedence. You will find yourself not being as close because you are involved in new family ish, either with the new immediate family or with your husband's family. You will adjust and your immediate family, as much as i know them, will certainly adjust as well. My advice to you is to not compromise the peace of your home with your husband because you are trying to make a point of maintaining the exact level of closeness you have with your family even after marriage. Even ya papa go flog your bumbum!

    1. I agree. What with babies and husband and work and HIS family (if they're nice), etc, time spent on or with my family will decrease. It's only logical and natural - and I have no issue with that at all.

      I wouldn't compromise my marital home because of my family.

      But like I said in my previous comment, forgetting/forsaking my family isn't an option.

  3. Leaving and cleaving means your husband becomes the most important, doesn't mean the rest of your family is trash. If that were the case, the bible wouldn't talk about leaving inheritance for your children's children, because after all they would have left and cleft (cleaved?) to their "new" family!!!
    Enjoy your family jor... :-)

    1. LOL @ cleft!

      Didn't even think of that - inheritance for your children...


I'd love to hear from you about this post! Let's all learn and share our worlds.