September 9, 2022

My Baby Is Growing Up - Bittersweet Feelings

Hey there,

Today I'm a little bit in my feelings. Yesterday Coco showed me her first wiggly tooth. I had gone to pick her up after school and as I reached down to hug her, she said "Mummy look! My tooth is wiggly." 


My reaction was a tad dramatic (it's just who I am, friends). I picked her up, giving her hugs and kisses and exclaiming to the other parents there that my child has her first wiggly tooth! This is a day that she's been looking forward to as her cousins (my sister and cousin's kids) have been having their milk teeth fall off over the past few years. Coco would ask me when hers would start falling off... when she's 6? Or maybe in first grade? I suspect the main reason why she couldn't wait for her turn is mainly the Tooth Fairy (yes I allow my child to have such childhood fantasies). Well, lucky for her, I have my stash of one dollar bills waiting for such days!


In welcoming and celebrating her first wiggly tooth though, there's a bittersweet feeling that's there as well: my baby girl is growing up. I remember the days of praying and asking God to please just conceive... and then praying that contrary to the doctors reports, she wouldn't arrive prematurely (technically she was though, but never needed to be in the NICU)... to my difficulty with breastfeeding and cherishing the little milk I was able to feed her... to her absolute delight whenever I got home from work (which she still has btw)... listen I can go on and on. The memories between her as a baby up until now have been beautiful (most of the time, because let's face it, it's not beautiful ALL the time). Now though, she's growing up almost faster than I'm ready for.


I saw a tweet the other day where a woman shared with her adult son that no mother knows the last time their child will do anything in the moment. She wrote about not knowing when the last time she picked up her son had been. If she had known it would be the last time, she might have held him a little longer. Her son then asked her to give him a piggy back ride right there and then, so she would have the memory of knowing that this was the last time she would carry him. Isn't that just absolutely the sweetest thing?! I actually have a lump in my throat now.

I guess in a way I'm experiencing the sadness that must come when you realize your baby isn't a baby anymore. Sometimes I try to put myself in my parents shoes and wonder if they remember me as a baby, and now see me with my own not-so-baby. It's so hard for me to imagine Coco as an adult but that day will come. Until then, I will be more mindful about enjoying the precious little and not-so-little things and experiences of her.

Have a pretty weekend!

Berry.


1 comment:

I'd love to hear from you about this post! Let's all learn and share our worlds.