January 30, 2015

Married Women Sex

Erm, before I start this post, I just want you to calm down. Don't worry, I'm not going for shock value or anything like that.

I've mentioned a few times on the blog that I really enjoy old, classic films. TCM (and AMC when I'm in Atlanta). A few Fridays ago, I watched one called Splendor in the Grass. It starred Warren Beatty (who was such a hunky fox mehn!!!) and Natalie Wood. The story was about two high school students who were dating, and the boy wanted to sleep with her, while the girl wasn't ready. What was funny was the boy's father encouraged his son to get a side chick to have sex with until he was ready to marry his girlfriend, who he said he loved. Meanwhile, the girl's mother was very adamant about telling her daughter to remain pure until her wedding night.


The girl (Deanie) confessed to her mum that she had urges though, and the conversation continued thus...

Deanie: Didn't you ever feel that way about Dad?
Mother: Your father never laid a hand on me until we were married. Then I... I just gave in because a wife has to. A woman doesn't enjoy those things the way a man does. She just lets her husband come near her in order to have children.  

I'm torn between two reactions.
  1. On one hand, I want to laugh hysterically at the mother's thoughts, because is she for really real? 
  2. On the other hand though, there are people (even cultures and some religions) that seriously believe that a married woman should not enjoy sex. To them, I ask... why shouldn't she?
Please o, if you're a married woman who's not enjoying sex, that is not the plan!!! 

I'm just saying.

P.S. Yada yada yada... Nigerian Blog Awards... yada blah de blah blah... Categories 11, 18, 27... Yeah. Have a pretty weekend. Mine's going to be full, so expect a picture-filled post on Monday :D

WAIT O! NO YADA YADA, tomorrow's the last day to send in nominations!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. Lol.

    It will be sad oo... but I know there are people that still believe that sha and most likely they don't have internet. :(

  2. This is very sad and disheartening to me and I don't even know why I'm so deeply affected and offended lol.

    Ok so on one hand, I understand that some women and even some men feel that way. Just like you have sex addicts, you also have asexual people.

    For example, Tim Gunn has been celibate for 29 years (as of 2012) - http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2012/01/tim-gunn-celibacy-sex.html

    But to get to the root of the issue, sex is not only physical, but mental as well. How you look, how you feel about how you look, how you feel, are all very important.

    Society and religion has taught women to be 'holy' and 'chaste' and that includes REpressing sexual desire, because EXpressing it denotes being dirty, loose, unworthy, etc.

    So much so that even when someone feels these desires, they feel bad for feeling these desires, hence the mental affects the physical.

    So it's sad because she may have felt these desires, but also taught to be ashamed of feeling them. Sad because her husband most likely put his physical needs before hers, not exploring what will make her happy. Sad because even if he did try to explore that, she may have felt 'dirty' or 'guilty' for enjoying something she had been taught was for men's pleasure only and also to produce kids.

    Sad! Lol

    Nice post Berry!

  3. Berry,my cousin just nominated you for 11,18 and 27
    I understand i cannot nominate twice.we wish you goodluck
    Happy weekend

  4. First of all, yayyy!!!! I'm a sucker for old Hollywood movies too and I love you even more for it! Gosh, already imagining girls night out with old movies and no yawning...lol!

    Seriously, I keep hearing this bit about a woman being a passive participant and I'm like really?! How on earth does that make sense?! Why should only one person have all the fun?! A song is danced by two active people!

  5. This is just scary for people that have not married abeg. Tufiakwa!

  6. Hmm!
    Is the mother saying that she didnt have those feelings then we can now talk of repressing it? Not having the feeling is worse oh!


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