August 25, 2020

What Next?

Hello there!!!

I fully planned on putting up another blog post shortly after the last one (where I mentioned, my daughter's father and I are heading towards divorce). I put up that post a day or two before I had pre-determined to take July off. To be honest, I didn't anticipate the response the announcement would get. I got a little overwhelmed and I apologize for not responding to the comments and some emails [yet]. I promise to get to them. 

Thank you though to everyone who sent messages, left comments, prayed for us, etc. I really appreciate all of you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The question now is WHAT NEXT?!?!?

The answer is I DON'T KNOW. That's why I haven't blogged because what do you now write about after announcing you are on your way to divorce (speaking of, the forms are not yet completed after how many months - filling divorce forms is tedious when you're doing it without a lawyer, and have a full-time job, raising a toddler by yourself, and producing a podcast). I could write more about the process, but I don't want to become "Divorce Girl." Besides, it's not wise to talk about a legal proceeding BEFORE or DURING everything (somebody can try to twist something I said as evidence, ya know). So I don't know. We'll see. 

What I do know is that I'm fine, and that I will be even better. The worst of it all is behind me, thank God. I'm not completely healed (I know this because I have some off-days where I replay stuff from the past) but I have come a long way. 

Unlike my friend Vera who's unsure about remarrying, I know FOR SURE, that I will/want to remarry eventually. Some people are surprised that I want to, but I really really do. It's not something I'm thinking about right now - heck, I'm not even ready to start dating at the moment (or rather, I'm not sure how to get back into dating). 

Anyways, I do miss blogging and wish I wrote more here, than on Instagram. Speaking of Instagram, I've been causing a bit of a ruckus over there :p

View this post on Instagram

My sex life has been pretty much nonexistent (like 99%) since I had Coco. She's 3+ years old 😑 I have a spontaneous sex drive so it's been hard!!! Sorry to my poor friends that I've called sometimes in the middle of intense cravings to ask Why Meeeeeeeeeee??? 😂😂😂 Why am I telling you about my sex life or lack thereof? Mostly so you can check out the 2 latest @mommyoyoyo episodes where I spoke with Yeside aka @oloricoitus about Sex and the African Mother. They're chock full of great info and tips to have [more] fulfilling sex! And also please pray for me cos not having sex is HARD! Yes I'd rather wait to have sex after I remarry so 🤷🏿‍♀️. And no, I don't like sex toys on my own 🙄 Mommy Oyoyo podcast link is in my bio 😁

A post shared by Berry Dakara (@berrydakara) on

If you're not already, follow me on Instagram @BerryDakara - I'm way more active on there. 

BUT the best thing you can do for me today is to listen to the Mommy Oyoyo Podcast! Just go to your podcast player, search for Mommy Oyoyo and listen to the most recent episodes which are on fire! 

Okay, I think I've rambled enough. The summary is that I'm fine, and thank you for the concern for me, Coco, and her father. 

Love ya!

Berry D. 

P.S. I already deleted all our wedding posts here and his photos from my IG, but am I supposed to delete all the blog posts with/about him/us?!?!?! That's too much stress abeg. Whoever I marry... please, you have to manage. 


  1. you will be fine eventually. I see divorce like a difficult phase in ones life, no one plans to run into difficulties in life. Heck, life happens and we surely do overcome those hurdles. Its gonna be fine sis.

    1. Thanks o. Life happens to everyone - even the Bible says we'll have challenging times - we just need to be able to deal with them, right? Thank you!!!

      I'm fine too :)

  2. I applaud the fact that you still speak respectfully about your ex. I wish you the very best as you move forward. Btw, I'm loving the afro!

    1. I try to be respectful (or at least civil) and I haven't always done great with that - a girl has her moments innit? But my goal is to be able to coparent in a civil (at worst) to amicable (at best) manner.

      Thank you!

  3. Hmmm,it is well Berry,this too shall pass.I'm glad you are getting your groove back. Wish you all the best


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